I’ll try to keep this as short as possible:
My girlfriend and I met 4 years ago and instantly fell head over heels in love. From the very first moment, we felt deeply connected, as if we had known each other forever. We had deep, intense conversations for days, did things together, and of course had a lot of sex.
Now, 4 years later, things look very different. For about 1–2 years now, I’ve felt like our spark has been slowly fading away.. I don’t think I truly love her anymore. We still spend time together every day, but to be honest, it’s more out of habit (“that’s just what you do”) than genuine desire. I haven’t felt sexual desire for her in quite a while. I still think she’s physically attractive, but I’m no longer sexually drawn to her. More and more often, I catch myself thinking about other women or looking at strangers on the street and thinking, “Yeah…”
I would never actually cheat, but I do notice that I’ve been increasingly thinking about other women lately and less and less about her.
I’ve even muted her on my phone because I find it more annoying than anything else lately when she texts or calls. When we first met, every message or call from her gave me butterflies—now I don’t feel any of that anymore.
I still like her, she’s a good person. But if I had to list the things I like about her, I’d definitely come up with fewer points than if I had to list what bothers me.
I’m just not sure anymore whether I still love her or if I should finally end the relationship—even though that’s obviously not easy. The last thing I want is to hurt her.
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Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of the post’s text (if available):
I’ll try to keep this as short as possible:
My girlfriend and I met 4 years ago and instantly fell head over heels in love. From the very first moment, we felt deeply connected, as if we had known each other forever. We had deep, intense conversations for days, did things together, and of course had a lot of sex.
Now, 4 years later, things look very different. For about 1–2 years now, I’ve felt like our spark has been slowly fading away.. I don’t think I truly love her anymore. We still spend time together every day, but to be honest, it’s more out of habit (“that’s just what you do”) than genuine desire. I haven’t felt sexual desire for her in quite a while. I still think she’s physically attractive, but I’m no longer sexually drawn to her. More and more often, I catch myself thinking about other women or looking at strangers on the street and thinking, “Yeah…”
I would never actually cheat, but I do notice that I’ve been increasingly thinking about other women lately and less and less about her.
I’ve even muted her on my phone because I find it more annoying than anything else lately when she texts or calls. When we first met, every message or call from her gave me butterflies—now I don’t feel any of that anymore.
I still like her, she’s a good person. But if I had to list the things I like about her, I’d definitely come up with fewer points than if I had to list what bothers me.
I’m just not sure anymore whether I still love her or if I should finally end the relationship—even though that’s obviously not easy. The last thing I want is to hurt her.
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dude be a man and rip the band aid
This happened to me as a teenager with my first relationship. It’s a question of one’s emotional maturity and what one expects from a relationship. How old are you? Is this your first relationship?
How old are you guys? Because sparks/butterflies diminish over time. What about her is bothering you?
Have you tried putting in the effort? Love in the long run isn’t butterflies, it’s working on it together.
Twenty years from now, when you’ve been through a few more women who haven’t met your expectations, and after she’s moved on to a life and family of her own, you’ll be able to answer the question of whether or not you loved her.
Do you want validation?
You got it.
Imagine four more years.
She’ll be hurt. It’s normal. It would be surprising if she weren’t.
I’ve been in your EXACT same spot a few years ago
And you know what’s my biggest regret ? I let all the burden of the breakup on her shoulders
She was a good person and it may seem stereotypical but I want her to be happy in life.
I fucking hate myself because I was a coward I didn’t dare to leave her I let her do it all alone and make her feel like she was a bad person
My point is : what you are feeling right now she is probably feeling the same
Give your relationship a chance try to go on holiday or do more things together but if you still feel the same just cut the rope
Good luck
If you have to ask, then the answer is obvious. Please don’t waste any more of her time.
In long relationships it’s normal to lose the spark, but if you both want to work for the relationship you can get it back. Love is not a feeling, it’s a choice you make every day and it is hard work. Long term relationships will always have ups and downs but if you really want to commit to one another you both have to work to keep things exciting and not to lose that spark.
It occurs when the initial phase of a relationship ends and real relationship begins. Put up some effort and face the problems you have with her. Relationships aren’t always flowers and petals, and maybe its a phase that will pass eventually. One thing which stays is your true intention and your willingness to work on this relationship.
4 years is the right time to start asking if there’s a real future here and it appears that there isn’t. End it now before you both continue wasting your time.
God may men like this never find me🤞