I just had my 21st birthday, and I feel absolutely useless. I am single, I don’t have a summer job despite interviewing with 20 companies both in the country and out, and I still have 2 years left of university (my final year and my Bachelor of Education after). I have decided I want to spend the next 4 months nailing down the skills I will need for the rest of my life. I don’t know what those skills are, so I came here to ask because I don’t want to be blindsided after I graduate (I have ADHD; if I don’t land on my feet after grad, I don’t think I’ll be able to get up at all). So, I guess I have 2 questions:
– How do I not waste my 20s?
– What skills should I learn before the end of university?
Comments
Please do not delete your post after receiving your answer. Consider leaving it up for posterity so that other Redditors can benefit from the wisdom in this thread.
Once your thread has run its course, instead of deleting it, you can simply type “!lock” (without the quotes) as a comment anywhere in your thread to have our Automod lock the thread. That way you won’t be bothered by anymore replies on it, but people can still read it.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Time Management, I still struggle with it
Your 20s are for wasting. The real key — not a degree or a good paying job or any of that nonsense everyone thinks is the “path” — the real key to success in life is understanding who you really are and living to that purpose. The world is filled with unhappy people with nice cars and nice houses and all that. Having money and things and dragging unhappiness around like a boat anchor around your neck isn’t success. I understand your point, but my advice would be to do things — take a dance class, go to one of those wine and art things, do stuff you don’t think you’d like, talk to people you might not ordinarily, learn about cultures, listen to music outside your norm … whatever it is to figure out WHO you are. Knowing that will answer all the rest of your questions.
Can you put your thoughts on paper in a manner that everyone else can understand you and can you be concise at the same time.
Finance, learn how to work ur ass off till your 35 to set yourself up for life.
And I dont mean bitcoin bros, I mean join a early retirement group and get some real advice. wish I could go back and do this.
The number one tip to not waste your 20s is;
DONT GET INTO A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS!
Also, dont pursue women for relationships, don’t search around thinking you need one, and dont simp for women.
Travel during the summer and spend your time developing social skills. Those are the most important skills to have.
Learn how to dance. You’ll never regret it.
Some really great advice here – also some absolutely awful advice lol.
I would still strongly recommend an education – you will carry it with you for your entire life. I don’t necessarily mean a University degree, could also be a trade, etc, but build some skills. This whole idea of young people thinking they are worth something is a terrible habit – your worth what you can deliver to an employer – make yourself worth something.
Otherwise focus less on “experiences” – thats a childish way to look at things. You’ll have enough experiences just pursuing life. What I’m saying is don’t blow all your money on travel or girls or whatever, but develop those as skills. Work on having good, healthy relationship skills – romantically and platonically. Work on being able to hold conversation with people. Work on being a responsible adult, basically. If that means you get married early 20s great, if not, that’s fine too – just work on the skills. I’m also not saying don’t travel, but find a middle ground between being broke but “experienced” and actually being able to support yourself and take financial opportunities as they come. Work on being prompt and on time – reliability is a big deal that’s often missing. Work on habits that contribute to being physically healthy.
Finally, what I call grandmother wisdom is right. Build good decision making skills. Just because your young doesn’t mean you have to be stupid and do stupid things. Doing what’s right isn’t always popular, but it’s still the right thing to do.” As my grandmother would say. It’s good advice – don’t make mistakes you’ll regret for the rest of your life and have to carry with you. I’m saying work on your honesty and integrity. I assume your a male, so if I can use the expression, work on “being a man” – be compassionate to others and if you mess up, just admit it, fix it and move on. Don’t develop an ego.
That’s about it – good luck!
Save money
Study or improve at work, (maybe both)
Take care of body
Workout
Work and sustain relations with friends or so that you appriciate
Do things you enjoy
How to:
Excel. Just learning the basics has advanced my career tremendously. It’s amazing what it can do for you.
You don’t have a summer job ? Amazing, go and travel as much as you can.
It will be decades until have this much free time.
You can work in your skill list while you travel.
All these finance bros telling you to work nonstop are going to wind up in the exact same place as you and I someday – – in the ground.
Your 20s only happen once, and then they are gone forever. You are a human being.
Go on an adventure. Make new friends. Get laid. Try some drugs. Lay in the sun.
Take risks but be smart about them. Wear your seatbelt, wear your helmet, wear the lifejacket.
Zero in on your talents. What makes you special so far? Anything you want to dive deeper into? Now is the time.
Or you can spend your 20s grinding and likely get nowhere at all.
YOLO
Hey man. I also have ADHD (only been diagnosed recently). So I can totally understand how you are feeling atm. For me, university felt like an absolute struggle (I felt like I didn’t have to try too much to get good grades in school, but it all changed at university). I barely managed get through.
So don’t be too harsh on yourself and you have a lot of time ahead of you to figure your life out. Heck, I felt like I was all over the place (at least internally) until I had my diagnosis and only then it all started to make sense.
All the things and information you read here may overwhelm you, but that’s okay. (I don’t know about your ADHD condition) With ADHD you have an advantage with your hyper fixation, if you can find things you’re passionate about, maybe you can use this hyper focus to use? Build your skills and tools that will help your ADHD not against it.
No one knows what skills we need for rest of our lives, we build the tools and skills we need as we live through our experiences. You still have two years left at university and plenty of time to figure out your next steps.
On a personal level: learn cooking and massaging for your dating life. Start the routine to workout NOW. It will benefit you your whole life. And the dating life. And professional life (pretty privilege still around, unfortunately)
On a professional level: here I can not give you genuine advice, the environment you are in at 21 is vastly different from the one I was in at that age. Oh maybe one: don’t buy into HR branding bullshit. Don’t be okay with not getting a raise because they gave you a hoodie and make you drunk occasionally. Switch jobs instead.
In your twenties, you can tend to be arrogant, don’t be.
Learn a few basic skills around the house, light, electricity, a bit of plumbing
Drink a lot of water, exercice and eat well
Do not do drugs, i repeat, don’t do any. It’s very good until it isn’t and then it’s never good again.
Try to find people that are smart and ambitious to evolve around
Protect and respect women, whatever happens. If you have a wife, she’ll turn everything you give her into gold (if she’s the right one of course)
Finance, put some money on the side (at least 10% of your income) you will be so happy to have done this before everybody else is
Don’t follow fashion, it never lasts
– Learn to follow a budget at the very least, it will help you later in life.
– Make sure you can show up to things on time (work, social events). People may laugh at this one but I am 100% certain time management is a skill
– Get some cooking under your belt and make sure you can do your own laundry.
Outside of that try to relax a little in your 20s. Use this time to have some fun and slowly work into routine and good choices with finances and life. It will make your future easier to settle into.
Learn a skill that will differentiate you at work and in your career. And start saving as much money as you can
Make lots of friends. You never know when some of those friendships may be useful in the future. Remember how they always say it’s not what you know but who you know?
Budgeting and being fiscally restrained meaning no credit card debt and saving up for your purchases. Your healthy retirement savings will thank you later.
Learn to not use ADHD as an excuse or reason for anything. Everyone your age is diagnosed with it, so no point in mentioning it.
Go see some live music, travel to weird places, dance with strangers. My 20s were wild. I look back 20 years later and wouldn’t change a thing. I think about regret and I’m glad I balked at what society deemed successful behavior. Having savings and a career by 30 will only make you resent the responsibilities of your 30s, which there will be many. And that freedom you had will diminish with each passing year.
Life comes at you quick my friend. Your 20s are a time to be free. Imagine society collapsing in 5-10 years and you spent that time grinding a job you hate to buy a house you can’t afford. It’s just not worth it in the end. Go do life.
Learn how to maintain a clean and functioning living space. Too many men don’t even change their bed sheets often enough.