How do I proceed in the relationship with my husband?

My [38F] husband [38M] have been married for 7 years and dating for 10. We have a small child [3M] together. I don’t know wheter the relationship is worth salvaging.

There have always been ugly fight between us, sometimes he would break things. Why haven’t I moved on back then? Because I’m messed up in the head and I’m afraid to be alone and that has stopped me from ever breaking up with anybody. I let my boundaries be crossed over and over and I am only now beginning to realize this.

Why do I ask this question now? Because I guess I’ve matured enough and beacuse there’s a lot of resentment built over the years.

Since we’ve had a child, I feel like I’m a single parent. His job requires him to work in the afternoon, and most weekends so we don’t get to spend quality time together, and most of the childcare has been on me. I feel like we are always his second choice. He says that he works so much because he wants to provide for us, but I feel like that’s not enough. I want him to choose us. But I always end up fighting with him and then forcing him to work less time and adjust his schedule. Also, during summer he almost has no vacation because he has extensive business trips where he leaves for a whole month or more. He says he has to. Otherwise, he will lose his job which he doesn’t want because he loves it and he’s very good at it. He loves what he does and enjoyes it. We did try to talk about everything but we are running in circles, it seems.

I’m no sunshine and rainbows either in terms of jealousy because he always goes on business trips with beautiful women and I get jealous and then I bother him with it. I don’t believe in m/f friendships.

I also feel like he has changed over the years. Now it’s mostly about work for him and I think we have drifted apart even ideologically and politically.

I have no idea how to proceed. I still have that fear of being alone especially in a small town like ours. And, how would all of that affect our child? Should we try to salvage this? But I don’t know where to begin.

Tl;dr: I’ve been feeling resentment for years and now I don’t know how I should proceed to try and salvage my marriage.