So I have been debating on posting but I don’t feel I can talk to my family just yet.
Some back story. I have been battling depression for as long as I can remember. Yes I take medication and for the most part it does its job. I mean I’m still here right. That’s the thing though. Since I was 16 I have been suicidal. I have never acted on it. I have never had the guts to try. I’m a coward in that aspect. But I think about it every day. The peace it would bring me. No longer in pain physically, emotionally, or mentally. The only reason I havnt is because of my siblings, my best friend, and my husband. They. They are why I am still here. They are why I fight every day to keep going. But that little voice in my head gets louder and louder as the years go by. It’s so exhausting pretending that im totally fine when all i want to do is jump off the bridge and hope the current takes me quickly. How do I make the voice quiet or maybe stop? I hate living this way…
How do I stay?
r/Advice
Comments
Consider speaking with a therapist to help quiet that voice and manage your feelings.
You’re not weak for wanting peace you’re strong for surviving this long without it. Speak your pain out loud because silence is where the darkness thrives and healing starts the moment you stop pretending.
I promise it gets better. I fucking promise you. no matter how bleak it looks. Depression does that. it makes everything seem shit and like its always been shit and it will always be shit, but guess what? It’s not. it hasn’t always been shitty and I PROMISE it won’t always be shitty. It just looks that way right now. It will get better. IT WILL. I have lived it, and I am so happy I’m still here. and you will be too. It’s not forever. hang in there. It will get better. surround yourself with good people. if you have the option of a dr see them. take your meds, RELIGIOUSLY. even if you think they won’t work. take them anyway. sleep properly (that is huge) and try to eat well if you can. You won’t be in pain forever, the pain will pass and it will get better, you WILL be happy again, so happy you feel like crying. the pain you feel right now will shut up and shift. the pendulum will swing and you will be happy again, and the happiness will be so great you will want to cry with gratitude. hang in there. I promise it fucking gets better, it does, it does a million percent. You have no idea what the universe has in store for you, it is so great. You will get better you will be happy again, this pain will diminish and you will wake up happy. You will wake up like a fucking Disney princess so happy with a smile on your face you won’t know what to do with your self except post on other people going through it telling them I gets better. because it does. I promise you it gets better. It does. You are going to make it through this. I did. You will. I know how it feels. the good is even better than the bad, you just have to hold on. hang in there. it will get better. the pendulum will swing. and you will be writing nonsense to strangers about how it gets better. you will. it does. I promise. hold on.