I went through a really rough breakup about 7-8 months ago and it totally destroyed me. It came out of nowhere and I was left for someone else he had just met. I’ve been in therapy, working on myself, even was prescribed Lexapro and I still feel so much sadness and rage over the situation and how unfair it was. I feel pretty pathetic for still feeling this way when we’ve been broken up almost as long as we were together and I don’t know why I’m so torn up over it, my friends and family stopped letting me talk about it long ago. My birthday is tomorrow and I just feel anger, pain and confusion. I haven’t gone a day without thinking about it ever since it happened. I don’t know what to do and I really just need advice or words of encouragement.
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I’m terribly sorry you went through this dear. Please go easy easy on yourself because recovery is a process but it can only truly begin with forgiveness. Yes what he did was entirely out of the blue but think about this is way, this is a major redflag on its own. Would you really want to be with someone who could drop and switch that fast?
He doesn’t have the empathy to understand the harm he caused. See his transgression like a child’s, maybe he will grow up and learn. For now, try to be thankful you weren’t dragged for even longer than this. You still have plenty of time
One way you can switch your mindset is to write positive affirmations before you sleep “I’m feeling better and managed to move on for a healthy relationship”. Do it at least ten times on paper or on a note app then go straight to sleep. It helps your subconscious move and accept this change. This method helped me through a difficult patch
It won’t feel like it does anything but with time you will feel better, remember that recovery isn’t a straight slope upwards, sometimes you feel fine, sometimes it feels like happened seconds ago. Go easy on yourself, it will eventually feel better. You can’t force it 🫂
You start by first realizing ok to need time. It’s perfectly normal to need whatever time you need to grieve. Slowly you start to do the things you enjoy. You keep yourself busy, you go for a walk or exercise or clean something you learn a new skill you go out with friends or binge watch a show.then you relapse as many times as you feel the need. Curl up in bed and do nothing, whatever you feel you need. Then you again slowly or quickly get yourself busy. It will happen but one day you’ll start to feel grateful he left your life quickly, leaving no doubt HE IS NOT THE ONE. You start to realize you’re sad for what could have been if he were the right one but he most definitely is not. He loses control over your thoughts when you force yourself to focus on something else. And yes, it takes force at first but then it’ll happen without a thought