I’ll try to keep it short, as times gone on I’ve gone back and forth on the idea of marriage and kids over the years.
I’m now at a point where I see 0 upsides to marriage and it obviously incentivises the wife to eventually divorce you when she gets bored.
Not only this but my life’s ambition is to retire early and travel Asia and buy property abroad.
I don’t want kids or marriage, I enjoy my relationships best when there is no pressure on either of us and I like to maintain my freedom to walk away if that person turns nasty.
I don’t view relationships in the way some do where they will be with this person forever, I usually assume things will eventually turn sour or they’ll get bored and then we move on, so I spend the time I have with that person enjoying life and doing cool things together.
How can I tactfully let this person down?
And yes I have considered just saying something along the lines of its not what I want so it’s not going to happen but I want her to atleast feel I’m taking her feelings into consideration here.
Comments
The fuck? Why are you gaslighting her? Just tell her
how old are you?
Be honest. Tell her if it’s marriage she wants, you’re not the guy
Just tell her, you coward. You’ve already wasted enough of her time. You aren’t interested in taking her feelings into account, you just don’t want to feel guilty for your bullshit and now you’re fishing for ways to morally justify your behavior to yourself.
Just do what George Cantstandya did, and tell her you want a threesome. /s
This will never end well.
Well, for the kids part that should’ve been established from the beginning of the relationship. If she doesn’t know then you can start with telling her that. If she completely disagrees and wants children, it’s time for you to break it off there and it will save you the trouble about discussing marriage.
As for marriage itself, you have to date a woman that shares your opinions or at least understands them and is fine with them. Again, this is also a subject that should be discussed from the beginning. In any case, you should ask yourself if it’s the marriage papers you’re uninterested in or the party. You can of course still buy a ring and make a wedding party, you just don’t have to sign the papers I guess (but let her know still). And if you want to do this, you should also maybe talk to a lawyer, because depending on where you live the woman might be able to sue you and pretend like she was actually your wife even if the paper doesn’t say so. Otherwise, if you’re completely uninterested in marriage, just tell her.
These are two major subjects and you’re basically wasting her time by staying in a relationship that is doomed to fail.
However you do it, you do it early. Like for me I’ve told people before our first date “not going to get married again nor have any more kids, if that’s a deal breaker for you, I hold no animosity.”
Whenever they bring up kids and marriage I say, “yeah, not looking to do that ever again.” I am about serious LTRs but not going to give any woman the legal rope to hang me with.
Some women back off immediately, some just go with the flow, some think they can change my mind. But whatever they choose, that’s on them. Whatever happens, I’ll not be the liar.