I originally posted this in a different subreddit but figured this one was the best for what i was asking for. I 17f found out I have stage one liver disease literally on my birthday about a month ago. The day before i woke up to stomach pain so bad i actually thought i was going to die.
The doctors did an ultrasound only on my right side and said that I have stage one liver disease even though I feel like theres more to this. No one has told me my next steps except to obviously change diet and exercise.
The GI specialist has yet to call us. Mom called them a couple weeks ago and they basically told us to wait our turn.
I have an aunt 33f who im really close to and knows of my diagnosis. I struggle with binge eating and always have. Her comments are not helping and are making me feel as though no matter how healthy I try to eat its never good enough which sort of makes me spiral and just give up.
For example I literally ate a salad yesterday and she was upset I added croutons even though I added a shit tone of veggies and a healthier sauce.
She was upset a while ago that i was eating vanilla greek yogurt with fruit.
She was upset with me that i refused to order a salad from a fast food place. I eat a salad nearly everyday (they’re healthy and I just love them) so I’m not about to order it if I can just make it at home. My aunt and a different relative basically ganged up against me and told me how sad it was that I got this diagnosis at such a young age and how I need to start eating healthier or else its just going to get worse.
It was so embarrassing to hear that. I KNOW its sad that I have this at my age. Im not stupid. It hit a nerve and i left.
I feel like at my age I should be able to eat whatever I want. Im doing better. At least I’m trying. Also they dont consider the fact that I cant always eat healthy. My family isnt doing so great financially and they just dont care about nutrition that much. So I’m trying with what I have.
Im getting close to telling them to stop talking about it all together. I know they’re trying to help. But it isn’t helping. My aunts apology for making me upset wasn’t really an apology i felt like. She acted like I just didn’t understand where she was coming from and like I was taking it the wrong way.
If anyone’s got advice on how to word this or if I should even say anything because I know she’s just trying to help. And some part of me feels like it isn’t even a big deal and I just shouldn’t say anything.
Comments
TBH, it seems like ur aunt means well, but she’s clearly overstepping. U gotta stand up for ourselves, especially when it comes to your health. Maybe say smth like, “Hey, I appreciate your concern but your constant nitpicking is making it tougher for me. I’m doing my best with what I’ve got.” And maybe suggest some cheap, healthy foods u guys could both enjoy? Dunno, just a thought. Good luck, dude! <3
Talk to your mom about how it makes you feel and tell her how uncomfortable it is for you. Make her the mediator between you to be the one to set some boundaries because they might not take you serious if you will tell them yourself or tell you that you’re rude. If they continue, be firm and keep your distance to keep your peace.
I feel you, it’s just my problem is diabetes but I have the same bs behavior from my mother that I cannot even avoid.
Food has become a nightmare thing, not because of the diagnosis but because of her. It’s awful and adds so much UNNECESSARY stress.
Set boundaries, stand up for them and demand respect. Cut it off her. This is not her problem and she is not helping, she is truly making things much worse than they have to be.
I wish I could escape my mother.
Wow your aunt is a bitch for her snide comments.
Stage 1 liver disease AKA fatty liver disease recommended diet is the Mediterranean diet which suggest you eat “fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins, while limiting added sugars, saturated fats, and alcohol.” Sounds like your already doing that.
You have to eat food and you might as well as eat what is recommended. But honestly, I dont think she could ever be happy with your food choices now that you have this diagnosis. So going forward, fuck her, her opinion doesnt matter. Do your research and call that GI doctor again. There is plenty of information out there on stage 1 AKA fatty liver disease and the mediterranean diet out there, dont wait around for some doctor to tell you to ‘start’.
As for your aunt, she is judgemental as fuck because she donesnt know or understand what you need. People who criticize people who are doing their best and actually making good choices are dogshit. Im sorry, after reading this, I dont have any respect for your aunt, I dont care how close you are. My advice is to out-knowledge her. Greek yogurt and berries are recommended for the Mediterranean diet, so the next time she makes some snide comment, ask her what about that choice is so bad for your liver? Ask her what she knows about the probiotics of greek yogurt or the berries that are high in antioxidants both of which help promote good bacteria in the GI tract which help to prevent more fat growth. But do your homework first.
How I coped with my binge eating: 1. Don’t go around people who stress you out for a few months. That’s the beginning of boundaries.
Don’t drink your calories it makes cravings. Use a calorie-free flavoring, a zero sugar soda tastes better than a diet soda.
Find healthier ways to make your normal foods. Anabolic recipes are great for eating lots without lots of calories.
My favorite YouTube cardio is “reps to the rhythm” and it has an accurate step counter. Do 5 to 10 minutes throughout the day to get your step count up.
Do chair exercises to get stronger for proper form and use free weights to build muscle. More muscle means a higher natural metabolism.
Take your time and be the friend you need. When you hear negative talk in your mind stop, tell yourself you’re a liar, and prove yourself wrong. Make goals small and not far off.
Take measurements of the roundest part of each body part. When the scale doesn’t move see if the inches have. I did daily weigh-ins and found the average for the week. (The 7 days of weigh-ins added together and divided by 7) Your weight can fluctuate between 1 and 6 pounds daily so don’t take it to heart.
Not eating past 6 pm and getting 9 hours of sleep keeps the stress hormone down for women and helps us shed water, use more fat, and repair.
You need 400 to 500 more calories during your period, you will feel weaker around this time, and you will have to modify movement. Once you go back to your deficit calories after your period you will see a weight drop after 4 days. Be patient.
Above all else don’t listen to everyone else if you know you are doing your best. Just tell them to be patient and say nice things or don’t comment at all. Tell them, if you ask, advice will be welcome. YOU have to change and them telling you 1000 things doesn’t make it all just disappear. What does help is positive motivation and if they can’t give that then don’t be around them till you have your routine in a comfortable place.
Talk to someone you trust so they can advocate for you but also, remember you can’t really control what other people do or say. You can only control yourself, your reactions and feelings.
You can try to tell your aunt very clearly “I value our relationship but you’re crossing boundaries which could ruin it. If you can’t adjust how we communicate I have to pull back” but I imagine it won’t make much of a difference. So focus on what you can do.
You can just put her comments in the “don’t care pile” inside your brain lol