I’m 16 and lived with both parents in a small neighborhood I love until January. Since they split, I’ve been switching homes weekly. I really don’t like my dad’s new place near a big city: I don’t know anyone, never go out, feel unmotivated, and school is harder to reach. At my mum’s, where I’ve always lived, I know everyone, hang out daily, and feel less stressed.
I don’t hate my dad, but I don’t want to spend half my remaining childhood doing nothing. I’m scared to speak up — should I talk to my mum or maybe my brother? I’d rather just stay at his place every other weekend and go out with him sometimes. Thank you. (and if you’re my brother watching this, please do something)
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Tell your dad exactly this, a parent should understand and come up with solution to improve the situation in some way. Be it making your stay at his place more enjoyable, or less time there, you’ll need to talk about it and figure it out.
Talking to anyone else but your dad about this won’t solve it, it will just cause drama.
The same exact why you are explaining it here. Those are all valid reasons for a teenager. Good luck!
Tell yours reasons, i had a simmilar situatiion and was just straight about it.
It was a little awkward in the moment but its fine.
Just hang out with him sometimes and keep in touch, be honest, gl
just be honest with your dad about how you feel and what you need.
parents want you happy, so clear communication is key.
Talk to your mum first to make sure it’s ok. Then talk to your dad and explain exactly what you told us. He may be a little sad and disappointed, but he’ll understand. Your reasoning makes sense.
I also lived 50/50 between my parents. Eventually i started living with just one and it was significantly better for me
Honestly, you’ve put your opinion in words very nicely; you could probably send him a link to the thread and he’d get where you came from.
As a city kid myself, I will also say that you’re underestimating how much fun is to be had in the city, even if you never bother learning your neighbour’s name.
Be direct with dads and dance around a fire making charades to tell your mom things. I learned this from being a husband.
I started to visit my dad every other weekend around 15. I was making friends and wanting to do my own thing. I got a weekend job at 16 and stopped visiting regularly. It’s part of growing up, your Dad may not like it but will understand. Just to talk to them, let them know your thoughts and agree a compromise
Remember two things. First, wanting to live where your friends and school are is the natural decision to make. Your dad should see this coming. Not to mention, yrou dad is the one who decided not to live where it is best for you.
Second, by getting divorced, your parents created this situation. While a divorce can be for the best, the divorce couple is responsible for the natural consequences of this action. Your dad not being able to live with you is his consequence. You didn’t do anything to be put in this awkward situation.
I’ve been the Dad in this sort of situation. As others have said, make sure he knows this isn’t about him. The other thing i wanted to add was can you offer going to his house like 2x a week for dinner? Or like Wed dinner and an afternoon/dinner on either Saturday or Sunday? That way you can still have the connection and communication with your Dad and you can create some fun new things to do. My daughter and I had great times doing that and having a schedule made it something to look forward to. We also found some amazing dessert places to go as treats!
Unfortunately son this is one of those moments that teach you, if you want something you’ve got grow some balls and go get it. How you do that is more down to you, us normies don’t know anything in your life. I don’t think there’s any happy ending to this one though
I think don’t tell him. It will break his heart a little at this time in his life and I don’t think you want that. Tough it out with a smile for 2 years and then you’re 18 and potentially living somewhere else anyway.
I mean you don’t owe it to him but as someone who lost their dad I can tell you everyone’s dad dies sooner or later (usually long before you) and if you guys have a good relationship you won’t regret any time you spend with him later.