I’ve never been gifted when it came to the downstairs area, it bothered me until I learned to live with it and naturally avoided any advanced by women, a little while ago I met this girl we’ll call Sarah, now Sarah is a great woman, exactly my type and on top of it is genuinely a great person.
We’ve been officially dating for almost 3 months now and the question of sex has came from her before, her general basis is “size doesn’t matter if you know how to use it” but thats the thing, still to this day I am a virgin and have no god damn clue what I’m doing, so it’s a mix that is not knowing how to use it and size not being there to save me, its a recipe for a disappointing experience.
I really need help or even just support right now, I’m a nervous wreck and I have no idea how to tell this genuinely amazing woman that I can’t do that with her, I know there’s alternatives to intercourse but for a first time doing anything I don’t want to throw her off and she feels like what she’s looking for can’t be found with me, PLEASE HELP ME REDDIT.
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Tell her
And work together
Thats part of the fun is exploring
Good luck
The first time me and my wife had sex….i literally told her, im nervous
She laughed and said dont be nervous and we had an amazing experience
Be vulnerable and tell her
Be honest. It takes the edge off … you will be surprised what you’re capable of.
as a woman I can tell you as long as you are engaged to making her feel great with anything, hands, mouth, anything that will be enough.
but please talk to her beforehand, make sure she knows how you feel, what your concerns are, if she takes it the wrong way, thats not someone you want to be with; but if shes understanding she will try her best to make you feel safe the first time might feel really weird, specially if you are worried, just try to focus on her, not yourself, you will be just fine
Don’t tell her that you can’t please her in bed. That’s not true because you don’t know yet. But definitely tell her you’re a virgin before you sleep together.
When I lost my virginity I told my girlfriend as we were making out and started to undress. It wasn’t a huge moment, she started taking off my pants while we were kissing and I just stopped and said I was a virgin. She said that’s okay and went back to kissing me. That’s the reaction you should hope for… anything other than that is a major red flag.
After the fact she said she actually really liked that I was a virgin. Sure, our first time wasn’t great lol. But I was a clean slate for her to mold. She taught me exactly what to do for her without having to break bad habits.
coming from a woman, just be honest and tell her. that just means she gets to teach you how to do things exactly the way she likes!
Hey, as you never have had sex with her you cannot be sure you can’t please her!
Everyone has their own preferences, there are many girls that like smaller sizes as the bigger ones make them feel uncomfortable. Many women don’t even enjoy penetration that much and prefer other forms of sex. Don’t be afraid!
Sex is about communication and fun. I think all your self doubt comes from the stereotypes you have heard about sex not really from any defect of you! Be open minded, talk with her what she likes, what you like and everything will be good 🙂
You are very young. Trust me, very few 20 year olds know how to use it. You do know how to ask questions, you do know how to listen to her, you do care that she is having a good time. With those skills you can build good sex together.
First thing… relax! Take it easy on yourself.
Secondly, she’s right. Size doesn’t matter as much as us guys seem to think. Go enjoy what god gave ya and create your own sexual story with Sarah.
It’ll be ok, really.
Talk to her about it. Most women really appreciate honesty and vulnerability, so I assume it will just bring you closer
Not just the fact you have to learn the trade, but there’s also other ways to make the experience more pleasing. Oral, hand stuff, toys, foreplay. All stuff to explore with your partner
My brother, Im not saying size is completely irrelevant, but in my experience, if the woman likes you, she’ll like your meat. Im slightly above average, 6.5 (not to be graphic) when I was younger , Im 39 now, I too was worried because I watched too much porn and thought all women desired 12 inchers… thats foolish. A LOT of women get off more by clitoris stimulation than penetration. Focus on what you CAN change, fore-play , go down on her, make her feel wanted etc…
Theres also different positions that can make what you DO HAVE go a bit deeper. You can look them up, I dont want to type it out, but a simple google search will suffice.
As far as experience, theres only ONE way to get experience… EXPERIENCE!
Tell her you’ve never done it before, if she has, Im sure she’ll be happy to guide you. If she likes you, she’ll probably like your meat. Once you’ve had the experience DONT OVERTHINK IT! Dont doubt yourself. Communicate with her, ask what she likes etc… and dont be afraid of bringing toys into it if it’s something she would like.
You got it.
Good luck.
Be honest with her about your experience. If she is up for it, put any sense of ego to the side and ask her to tell/show you exactly what she wants, and likes. All men are trainable when it comes to sex, I promise you. And size does not matter. It truly does not. The majority of woman can not even orgasm from simple penetration.
Also, google is your best friend. Look up different ways to please her, learn about the female anatomy and erogenous zones. (DO NOT use porn as a source, it’s all bullshit)
You got this!
Don’t assume and don’t over think this. 🙂 you don’t get to determine what she does and doesn’t like! You’re getting in your own way. Millions of people have been banging for millennia.
Eat her out
Be open with her. If you will listen most women will tell you what they like and she will show you if you are honest. Most good relationships are not made of romance novels but being attentive to your partner’s needs. Believe me we have all been virgins and it’s not an incurable disease and generally nature will lead the way.
The fact that it occurs to you to ask that question already puts you ahead of a lot of the competition.
As someone who lost their virginity later than most and also has a “small penis” let me tell you what I did. Luckily for me I guess I met her online and she lived hundreds of miles away. I literally just told her straight up that I don’t think it’s good enough for her etc. she reassured me it was. Eventually met up with her at a hotel and was having crazy amounts of sex. Literally 3-4x a day. Went from being a depressed virgin to ontop of the world. All that said when I was younger I got humiliated many times for the size of my penis. Truth is it sticks with you and always will to some extent but you gotta realize that not everyone has the same views as those girls. Especially when they get older and more mature. Talk to her, and experiment. That’s the key. Become a master of foreplay. Make her orgasm before you even enter.
there are a lot of tutorial on p*rnhub, for licking and for using the finger, a lot of women prefer it <3 (and talk to her)
There’s so much more to pleasing a woman than having a big dick. A large penis is honestly at the bottom of my list of things a man needs to please me in bed. I’m more interested in his oral and manual skills than I am in his penis size. And those skills are easily learned if you know how to listen without getting defensive and follow your woman’s cues.