I’m a 14 year old guy. I’ve been feeling sad and lonely for a long time. I’m just kinda tired of feeling this way.
I want to tell my parents but I’m scared to. It’s awkward and embarrassing to talk about. They will probably make a big deal out of it. I know it’s only because they care. But they will just worry about me and I’m not sure they can really do anything to help me anyways. I don’t want to let them down.
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Just tell them what you wrote here. That you are feeling sad and lonely and you would like some help.
> I’m not sure they can really do anything to help me anyways
Are they in a position to take you to a mental health professional/therapist? Or are there any resources at your school like a counselor that you can talk to?
Being depressed is very, very common and you should not feel embarrassed to talk about it. The fact that your parents worry about you just means that they love you a great deal. I am sure that they want you to be happy.
They should make a big deal out of it. I would want them too. Depression, if not checked (handled, medication, etc) can lead to death, so they should worry and make a big deal out of it. If you are worried about saying the words, I’ve always expressed to my kids to write things down and give me a letter. This helps them get how they feel on paper and then they can express in a medium that is also almost therapeutic. I would start there and give it to your parents. My son is 15 and struggles with expressing himself, so I make it a point to just go in his room and sit, talk about gaming, etc. Then he feels comfortable to come and sit with me and chat. I would say, write the letter, pour out everything, even if it means they are worried and want to help. Depression can be managed and they can do something, even if its just getting a professional to talk to you. If you can talk to your parents, sit them down and explain that you need to voice something and that you just need them to listen, no advice, no talking back, just listen. However, if you dont have that type of relationship, start with the letter.
It’s going to be awkward whichever way you do it isn’t it! Congratulations on being emotionally mature enough to realise that you are depressed – most guys your age don’t have that in them yet. Let me tell you as a 43 old, it gets way better.
Like, way better.
It might seem like a long way away now, but very soon you get to be the master of your own destiny – so start making plans! You have possibilities in front of you be it college, a career, travelling – all of that!
What helped me when I was your age was reading books and generally getting lost in different worlds. Not sure if I can help you anymore than to say this:
Your parents love you, you trust them enough to want to have this conversation without it being a huge deal. Ask them if you can have a chat with them but they have to promise not to make a huge thing out of it, and then sit there and explain yourself as best you can. It could be that they already this about you and have been wondering how to ask.
It might just require a few small changes in your daily life, like joining a club or doing something fun.
I wish you the very best of luck my dude
I was diagnosed with depression in my forties. I now realize I was having depressive episodes in my early teens. Treatment helps, and I missed 30 years of treatment. Tell your folks, get treatment.
You simply tell them you’re depressed and would like to do something about it. If they aren’t terrible parents they will be proud of you for opening up about what you are carrying and want to help you help yourself. Not a single thing wrong with being depressed my dude. Real strength comes from those who deal with their problems. Best of luck.
Tell your father, not your mother.
Maybe call, email, or text a teen line where they will listen, provide support, resources, and hope to a teen who is struggling. Go to: https://www.teenline.org/
Here are some other resources for teens: https://mentalhealthhotline.org/helplines-for-teens/
Know my prayers are with you!
What are you feeling sad about?
Between your age and age of 24 your body is having biochemical changes and one effect is that you get depressed. Other people your age will have the same problem. We all had gone through that.
The good news is that what you see is not a reflection of reality, so do not let your brain to deceive you. Real world is better than what you see. And it is NORMAL to be depressed at that age.
Also, as a man, you must know that rejection is a NORMAL part of life. If you ask a girl on a date and you get 9 rejections out of 10 you did great. If you send 100 CVs to apply for a job and you get a job, you did great.
A good man is like a good captain, and this depression is your first test of character. Welcome to the life of a man.