My sister in law just had a baby around 3 weeks ago and she just sent this photo of the baby and it’s looks like they have a tongue tie. I’m not in any medical field not do I have a child myself but I had a tongue tie during my first few months of life and have seen pics of myself as a baby that look similar. My mom told me how difficult I was because I couldn’t latch properly and had lots of trouble feeding. My sil and I aren’t very close so I don’t want to just say “hey you baby had a tongue tie” but if it could be helpful I want to let her know. I just don’t know how to bring it up. Also some context we don’t live in the same state so main communication is through text, we also aren’t extremely close but talk ever once in awhile.
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Backup of the post’s body: My sister in law just had a baby around 3 weeks ago and she just sent this photo of the baby and it’s looks like they have a tongue tie. I’m not in any medical field not do I have a child myself but I had a tongue tie during my first few months of life and have seen pics of myself as a baby that look similar. My mom told me how difficult I was because I couldn’t latch properly and had lots of trouble feeding. My sil and I aren’t very close so I don’t want to just say “hey you baby had a tongue tie” but if it could be helpful I want to let her know. I just don’t know how to bring it up. Also some context we don’t live in the same state so main communication is through text, we also aren’t extremely close but talk ever once in awhile.
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Is this your brother’s wife or your husband’s sister?
Send pics back to her of an alien baby, she’ll get the hint
Just say hey, I had a tongue tie when I was young and it looks like this might be similar! I would talk to your pediatrician it could really help them like it helped me
Can you tell your sibling? Or maybe point it out to your mom and see if she says something? 😂
A guy in my class growing up had this. Didnt seem to bother him, but he could barely lick his lips
How are you guys related? Have your mom or her partner tell her if you’re worried about her reaction.
For what it’s worth I wouldn’t have minded if someone pointed this out to me when my kids were babies and I wouldn’t hesitate to tell a family member if I thought there was something up with their child.
Tongue ties can cause studdering. I have a tongue tie that was never fixed and I had a studder and had to take speech classes in elementary school. I would tell them
Depending on how your relationship is with the partner, I’d probably have my snl’s spouse tell them. Something like “Hey, snl sent a pic of baby. They are so cute! I saw they had a little bit of tissue connecting its tongue. If snl notices baby having any trouble feeding, she should have the doctor look at it during one of the checkups. It’s nothing serious now and easily fixed.” Then spouse can choose how to best relay the information.
If baby is feeding fine, there’s nothing to worry about.
Have your mom call her or your brother They will believe her
I still have a tongue tie til this day. No issues or speech impediment
i had an insane tongue tie as a kid and it lead to a bunch of problems… i would just say outright that you saw the picture and are worried
it’s way easier to correct before you start talking
If the father is your brother, tell him.
If SIL is your husband’s sister, let him tell her.
You don’t.
If there’s feeding issues i’m sure they’ll figure it out or their dr will notice. I’m in my 40s with a tongue tie and i’m fine. Didn’t know it wasn’t normal until a few years ago, i just thought i had a short tongue. No ill effects.
I had a tongue tie and so does my son. If she gave birth at a hospital or birthing center I wouldn’t be surprised if the medical staff have already mentioned it to her as they spotted my son’s right after birth. From what I’ve experienced and heard from others the correction timeline varies from doctor to doctor some recommend asap and some recommend a wait and see approach as between 6-12 mos it can correct itself depending on severity. I didn’t have mine corrected until it started affecting my speech around kindergarten age and with my son who is 3 we are starting to consider a correction but she may very well already know and and just hasn’t brought it up as it’s pretty common and might not be an issue currently to them.
I’m surprised the doc didn’t catch it. Do you know how breast feeding is going?
They should’ve told her at the hospital when she gave birth.
They normally will check the mouth and look for tongue ties (since they can effect feeding)
On paper, I don’t think it would be problematic to bring it up to them – it’s easily fixed and not like a life changing diagnosis. BUT having a newborn at home is its own level of exhausting and that can make people emotional. So go with your gut!!
If it’s “tied” enough to cause problems, their pediatrician will likely notice and tell them. But if they ever mention trouble with feeding, you’ll have a great opening (oh I had that problem too and it turned out I had tongue tie).
My first had a tongue tie that the public health nurse noticed. She just forgot to tell me to ask the doc to have it snipped (crucial piece of info). As a result we struggled to breastfeed and I sent myself damn near insane trying to do it.
Just mention it like:
“Hey babe – saw this pic of the baby. Noticed it looks like he might have a tongue tie. Nothing to stress about. The docs can handle it really quickly but if you are having troubles with getting the baby to latch, that might be why!”
My son had a tongue tie and it looked nothing like this. His tie came all the way to the tip of his tongue and his tongue looked like a heart. If the baby isn’t having trouble latching or feeding they won’t do anything immediately. A lot of the time, a baby will naturally trim the tie on their own as their teeth emerge. The teeth are so sharp that they actually shave the tongue tie back. Ask me how I know lol
well…i just found out at 27 that i have a tongue tie
If you really want to tell her, pose it like “Oh your baby is super cute, and I noticed she may have a bit of a tongue tie! Mom told me I used to have one, too!” Don’t pose it like you’re telling her like she doesn’t know, or you’re trying to tell her what to do.Young moms, especially new ones, can be quite defensive.
Trust me, I have 20 cousins who are all older than me (26) and nearly all of them are mothers and fathers. Congrats on your niece!
I just realized I have a tongue tie I thought everyone had these
I would want to know if it’s my baby. I would just say that you were as a kid and thinks you’re nephew like similar and to talk to their doc. I didn’t find my son was tongue tied until he was 6 months old and wasn’t able to have surgery scheduled until he was a year per the doctor since we found out so late. The earlier the better. I’m surprised the doctors didn’t see that in the hospital.
the way i would honestly approach this is by asking questions related to symptoms, i.e. “does your baby struggle with feeding?” etc and then use the answers as a way to lead up to “when I was little I also struggled with the same thing, and it turns out I had a tongue tie” . or I would wait for an organic moment to mention it… if you think your sil will be sensitive to receiving this feedback id bring it up privately. embarrassment can shut someone down completely and put them on the defensive.
I would want to know. I would see it as looking out. It’s utterly devastating when you’ve been up all night with a hungry baby that is having trouble latching. It was a big blow to my self esteem when I was breastfeeding. I would find a tactful way to tell her. You could make a big difference in her relationship with nursing.
Hey, I think mine is still like this.
I can’t push my tongue past my lips. At all.
I’m ok. A few years ago my Dentist said I could get a simple snip if I wanted.
I haven’t. I’m 53.
Unless the baby has problems breastfeeding, talking or cleaning their teeth it’s not a super major issue.
So far as I’ve been told I had none of those issues.
I’m a NICU nurse. As long as it’s not interfering with feeding, most pediatricians won’t cut it. It’s also not severe at all
Why is this such a hard thing to say. Just say “hey, I think your kid has a tongue tie”
This isn’t telling them that they aren’t the parent or something
Is the baby having issues feeding or latching? If not- it’s really not an issue. Most don’t require intervention
SLP here. not all tongue ties cause problems- many, many people have them (including myself) without issue. if it causes issues with feeding, then they can go to an ENT and see if a release would be appropriate. but it’s not like this is an obviously cancerous mole or something scary- I really wouldn’t worry about it.
The pediatrician will tell them at check up! So it can get snipped.
I’d just say “this looks like my baby photos. I’d hate for nibling and SIL to go through the same pain mom and I did for my first few weeks. Please see your pediatrician or email them this photo about a possible tongue tie.”
No one is born to a parent who knows everything.
My grandpa was a pediatrician. I did weird things with certain foods when I was expanding my palate of solids. It was weird enough for grandpa to drive the half an hour to watch me eat dinner after mom described it (oldest child, youngest child was born when she was a teen, lots of cousins, earned teenage pocket money babysitting, mom knew I was doing something strange). And then to come twice the next week with a new but similar food and figured out I was letting them know if food allergies or intolerances that weren’t anaphylactic but I did it in a way he’d never seen and no one had mentioned in 40 years of medical practice. Even he was thrown by a kiddo who would share some of her cereal with the dogs but never ever threw food for fun- even in my terrible 2s later on I only threw food that I knew was bad for me or if I wanted to share with the dog and it was very obvious the difference, messy things didn’t go to the dog but Cheerios did. And any new food and flavor would be taken with gusto but if I got the same flavor again the next day I would grab and throw the spoon from my mom’s hand. And do all I could to block it from going in my mouth. What baby does that? He was baffled. He dragged my aunt (the kid he thought was going to follow him into becoming a doctor who was still in high school at the time) over to try feeding me new things and watch and pay attention and stay the weekend to help and report back. Same thing- first meal fine second meal throw it away. And not to the dog. Like baby me went “this is poison doggie can’t have it.”
You might not remember your tongue tie but you’ve heard enough about it. I don’t remember my babyhood food throwing but I know what later attempts to try those things again did to my body and made me perfectly understand infant logic of “this might have tasted good but it hurts. Don’t eat!!!! Get it away!!!” So this was very long winded but talk to your SIL. Even share my comment. It’s fine. Your SIL is a new exhausted parent and every miraculous detail of that experience is wonderful and exhausting and she’d only be a better mom to send that photo to her pediatrician’s email service and say “my spouse’s sister-in-law had a tongue tie and it’s been pointed out similarities in early baby photos. Does baby need to be seen for this? If baby needs medical attention as my SIL did, I’d rather we take care of that ASAP.” It takes a village for a reason. Someone has to be cool, calm, and level headed enough to say something when it’s something that can only improve the situation for everyone involved.
Note I had a first cousin born a few months after I was. He threw food for fun. Even if he’d have been born first- it would’ve been very obvious the difference in a kid who threw food for fun and one who threw it because that food triggered the baby. This is why it stood out more, I wasn’t throwing food gleefully.
omg i have a tongue tie, my mom knew from birth but didn’t get me the surgery because she didn’t want me to hurt (still cut off apart of my penis tho so idk about that) and i still have one! i have a slight lispy-speach impedimenty thing going on because of it and HATE it, though i’ve trained myself to talk more normal over the years it’s still there tho. i haven’t gone through surgery because i don’t have an extra few grand lying around and i don’t want the pain.
Give the kid an ice cream cone. Then notice they are eating it oddly…then discover the tied tongue. Or just let the dentist figure it out at the appointment
Mention it casually to you mother-in-law.
My older brother (born 1965) had a tongue-tie. He had a noticeable lisp by age 3. Pediatrician snipped it with surgical scissors during a routine office visit. No warning. No analgesic or numbing agents. My mother was flabbergasted.
You don’t mention if this baby has issues latching. Only that you did.
I’d start there. Everyone has that ligament, but unless you know it’s causing problems for baby, you keep your mouth shut. There’s no reason to advocate for unnecessary surgery on babies.
If it is causing problems, then you’ll either know about it from your SIL, in which case you can tell her: “You know, what you’re describing sounds an awful lot like what my mum says I was like. And they got me this treatment to alleviate the problem. I dunno if it’s that, but maybe ask your pediatrician to check?”
Or you’ll know about it from another family member, whom you can then tell more or less the same thing. You let information flow the same way back that it comes to you unless invited to do otherwise.
But you should absolutely not start suggesting surgery until you know there’s an actual problem.
“Hey Sis, do you see anything different in “baby’s” mouth?” Simple as that.