So I (M21) have never kissed anyone but I hear about how people will be talking about how they were talking to a friend or friend of a friend and then next second they’re making out.
How dose that just happen?
How do people just go from just friends to making out?
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Alcohol usually
Drugs alcohol or two friends who definitely are into each other and one makes a move
I never even think about it honestly. One sec you and the homies are just chatting, the next you’re looking at their lips.
All the sudden you’re peeling your lips away from theirs and y’all are back into the conversation.
You typically have to be attracted to the person
Booze.
Not all friendships are really platonic. They’re standby romantic. Both parties are interested in the other, but they prefer casual feel-out periods that look like friendship to conventional dating. Both people refer to each other as friends, and treat hang out sessions as hang out sessions with a friend, but the mutual attraction and emotional interest is ever present.
Absolutely not all friendships between men and woman are standby romantic. Very select few are. Most are just platonic.
When it is actually romantic on standby, the feeling-out period usually ends abruptly, typically during a moment someone would make a move on a regular date. There’s so much mutual interest that it’s not all that unexpected.
Most people I’ve dated, that’s how it went.
As an edited side note, I’ll point out that this approach to romantic connection is risky. Not so much because someone might make a move when they shouldn’t, but for the opposite reason. I’ve had a couple friendships I didn’t know were actually this kind of situation, with a person waiting for me to make some move that I never made, only to have it spelled out for me years after the fact (in one case by a third party). It’s possible to miss the presence of mutual interest when things are treated ambiguously.
Bro. ::eye contact:: Bro.
If you are the least bit empathetic you just know when attraction goes both ways and an interaction can lead to making out.
Two ways 1 double down on the person you like. Method two quantity try everyone around you
you’ll see repeated good eye contact, they’re looking at your lips, touching their hair, and/or are close and touching you. when she gives you the signs lean in 90%, let her do the rest
Attraction opportunity and alcohol
Well. I had a friend who never said no to hanging out with me. I kinda knew she was interested but I didn’t make a move until later. She kissed me back and said she was always interested but I never made a move.
You have to consider if you’re ready to give up on that friendship before you try anything. Some friendships are worth keeping.
Rubbing her sore back was my trick.
Ended up married though, so be careful.
Beer.
I just read the room. My current girlfriend and I were getting closer than just friends would while sitting at a campfire one night. I had my arm around her and she was leaning into me and I went for the kiss. She reciprocated and we ended up making out and having sex for the first time later that night.
Point is OP there were obvious signs and I didn’t just move in for a kiss there had been substantial and obvious body language leading up to that point and if there hadn’t been I wouldn’t have made a move.
You should start by asking this person out on a date and let them know you’re romantically interested. If you’re unsure it’s okay to ask. Same for a kiss. When we moved beyond making out I literally paused and asked her how far she wanted to take things because you should always get consent.
Look deep into her eyes and say, “Alwight enough talking sweet heart time for daddy to make your dweams come true.” Then kith
Normally alcohol.
OP you just catch a vibe. Usually if you have dinner and watch a movie, if you’re interested you make a slight move, otherwise it’s just friends. You set yourself up by what you do.
My wife and I knew each-other for over 20 years as just friends. Friends that bickered a bunch, but friends. I was recently single, she was in a funk, and she suggested I stay with her and look for a decent place instead of just jumping on the first thing I found. Two days in, I walked out of the bathroom after a shower and she looked at me and said “we should have sex. Now.”
Seeing that she immediately got pregnant, I’m sure ovulating might have something to do with it lmao.
“Hey, wanna make out?”
That’s about how hard that is.
Interest, demonstration that you’re not a weirdo and have experience, or at least that you have a hook up in mind, and communication. If you can do those, you can skip being “friends” and bang the person you want to bang
Those times when you feeling the energy change and you both are awkward n get hesitant but you wonder if you should go for a kiss? 90% you should. Women are terrible at giving signals. They think a hair flip counts lol. Worst case things get slightly awkward for a week or so. But if it’s a miss you gotta respect that and move on
Open mouth kissing
Flirting. Most of the time, it is just flirting escalating
Usually Alcohol / Drugs are involved
Mutual attraction, a bit of flirting, and ability to tell they like you and when it is the right time. Usually the friendship has a fun relationship
If you are hanging out one and one and there is light touching, strong eye contact, and little moments of them staring at your lips while there may be tension, then is the time usually.
Booze. X. Molly. Cannabis. Hot tubs. Secluded beaches.
No alcohol was involvrd. We were friends. We became close. Then the nature of our conversation started to change. We started talking about things you discuss when you start seeing someone. He was over,listening to music he turned my face towards him and he kissed me.
Typically holding hands to kissing then to doing it in the butt
Much communication is non verbal. Someone doesn’t have to say “I’m into you” for you to know it. There’s a million little cues we pick up on below the conscious level without really being aware. The way you look at someone, how you lean in when they talk, the grin you can’t help but have when you meet eyes, the list is endless.
When something “feels right” it’s because you’ve picked up on a hundred subtle cues they’ve given you, perhaps unintentionally.
The specific situation you’re describing is usually indicative of a long history of interactions where both parties are signalling to each other in some way that they’re attracted, but are too nervous, awkward, or uncomfortable to just outright say it.
You can edge closer to her. If she doesn’t lean away, edge a little closer.
Repeat until your lips meet hers or she backs away.
If she backs away, she’s not ready to take that step and just try to not say something too stupid.
When you’re attracted to each other, just being alone and a private space is enough
FWIW it doesn’t always go smoothly. My best friend throughout high school, she and I were usually dating other people throughout and we were always a little flirty with each other but never let anything happen till the summer before going off to college. For us it was hot tub + summer + being alone together, pretty simple combo.
We finally hooked up after 3+ years of tension, and it might have been the most awkward thing I’ve ever experienced (and it seemed the same for her). The physical chemistry was just way off or something was just amiss. We both kind of laughed it off as a “well that didn’t work but at least it finally happened” and soon went off to college and drifted apart. Maybe we were both nervous after the years of buildup, who knows, in hindsight, teenagers are stupid.
I still find it kind of funny 20 years later that someone I was that close with was legit my worst kiss ever, and it’s not particularly close.
“Hey you like the Cage the elephant? Me too” then you put your arm around her and say something like “You know my favorite song is “Come a little closer” and if she likes that song you kiss her.
Usually both people need to be attracted to one another and/ or possibly their inhibitions loosened by alcohol. For most people in the West this happens when they’re teenagers. Speaking from experience here.
Yeah, he just happened sometimes. It depends on the situation. It depends on the few people. It depends on a few things but usually if you go with the moment all those things come together and it just happens. You’ll get there eventually
For me, it happened when my friend realised she gave me a boner. Started as teasing then moved onto making a game out of it, “whoever cuts first loses” and “whoever cums the most loses”. That didn’t last very long, just kinda fizzled out.
With my wife, she told me that she wanted to be more than friends.
I don’t know like unwanted lust and no self control usually leads to this
Alcohol, drugs, eye contact. One person looks a millisecond too long. If the other person noticed and when they look back and the other person holds eye contact (this may happen a few times) and maybe smiles a bit, it’s on. Also awkward silences can reveal sexual tension. Sometimes talking about sex can do the same thing
Everyone’s saying “alcohol this, alcohol that”, what if your only option to get anywhere (in at least somewhat reasonable time) is driving a car? Now what about your alcohol?
It happens naturally but its akso notable that it inly happens for people who are already attractive
the girl has to find you cute.
If you feel there is mutual attraction with someone, you can literally just ask if you can kiss them or if they want to kiss generally. It’s honest, communicative, and doesn’t require a whole lot of hyper awareness of whatever “signs” people talk about. Maybe they say no but that’s better than them having to push you off their face.
Also, it’s troubling to see people talking about “alcohol this, drugs that” like sure they can lower inhibitions, but it should be in no way internalized that “in order to get X to kiss me they need to be intoxicated” that’s predatory and gross.