This question is a little embarrassing but I can’t find anything on it despite hearing that people try different things for it. I can’t shave myself bald because I’m prone to ingrown hairs and it’s painful. I like the look of a super close trim the best, but when I do that it feels super spiked and uncomfortable. I know that trimming makes the end of the hair blunt and that’s why it feels so rough but is there anything I can do to soften the hair itself? Like a conditioner or moisturizer or something.
I’m also a Black woman so my hair is courser to begin with. Even long it’s pretty coarse but trimmed it’s unbearable. My boyfriend doesn’t mind but it just feels so unsexy and honestly uncomfortable for myself as well.
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I can recommend fur oil, but check the ingredients first. I hope you find something that works 💕
Have you tried conditioner? Like maybe it might help, but idk. I just trim my bush and its spikes at first but after a couple days it’s not so spikes.
I know that there are different brands of hair conditioner sold to work better with textured hair, maybe see if one of those works well for you.
Have you thought about using something gentle, like a sugar scrub maybe, before conditioning? Could help soften things up, ya know?
I have the same q. My current partner is really into natural body hair. I’ve loosened up on my trimming routine cus I’m lazy so why not. Now, its starting to grow on me (sorry, had to use the pun) but I feel best when I feel like I’m taking care of myself. So, doing nothing doesn’t make me feel sexy. But, if I’m taking really good care of my pubes, I might enjoy them more and feel sexier about them. Sorry I dont have anything to contribute but I do have the same questions!
The only thing I’ve found that helps is hair remover lotion. If you don’t mind a little hair, I’d do that on just on the top of the hair. Don’t massage it in, just the frost the tips. I prefer Veet, i like the pump, but nair works just as good. Veet even has one for “sensitive” areas that designed for down there… I dont know how safe it actually is but I haven’t had issues. But doing just the trips should be safe. There are other brands you could try as well that might be safer.
I also use it all over the legs. Far less painful than shaving. It does soften the hair so it doesn’t leave that sharp edge shaving or trimming leaves behind. Goose bumps after using it doesn’t feel like needles.
Not sure if this will work, but I have a home IPL machine and feel like the hair is finer. It’s never completely eliminated hair for me, but I also don’t do it as much as I should. It has slowed growth, made it less dense, and I think made it a bit less spiky. You have to shave or trim very close to zap it and it’s most effective if there is contrast between your skin color and hair color.
I’ll also put a plug in for exfoliation if you’re dealing with ingrowns. I never knew that could be part of the reason and now I barely get any. I have a scrub that I use sometimes but typically rely on chemical exfoliation.
Hawaiian here with hella coarse hella thick hair down there – my major tip is ditch the razor entirely and get yourself a pair of hair clippers. Yes, the one with the guard that people use to buzz their hair with. Get the closest shave guard you can. Use that. Always shave in a downward stroke. Be super freaking careful around the bits, only use a razor there if you’re literally just skimming over the hair, don’t actually press it to the skin.
I’ve been doing this for the last twenty years and it’s been foolproof for me. It doesn’t get softer per se but it absolutely smooths it out.
I use coconut oil, cheap from Costco, as a body moisturizer and it softens pubes.
When I can’t shave I use a bit of leave-on conditioner. My skin is sensitive and I get rashes if my hair is rough.
Try a higher quality trimmer. Blade sharpness and velocity can I have a large impact on the sharpness on the tip of the hair that remains. A dull or low quality trimmer will slightly fold the hair over leaving a very sharp tip like an arrow head. High quality and sharp tools will cut the tip off square leaving it much more comfortable
Not sure if this would work, but I know men that use products for their beards to make them softer. Maybe something like that would also work for pubic hair?
Black woman here.
If possible, I really really recommend waxing. And, in between waxing, frequent exfoliation with scrubby gloves. This is the ONLY thing that has helped my ingrown hairs
As for softness, conditioning while also conditioning your hair helps a lot. Avoid the opening and rinse thoroughly. Trimming with scissors and a fine tooth comb makes for a less spiky result, and also prevents ingrowns, though it will take longer to do.
Do NOT add hair leave-in products!! They will absolutely mess up your flora and ph balance. If you want something to leave in after washing, you could try a little shea butter or coconut oil. Be sure to keep them away from the opening as much as you can. The only products I’d recommend that are safe all around are from Momotaro Apotheca. I’ve used their soothe and restore salve post-waxing and it’s legit great.
I’ve personally never had any issue and I use shampoo and conditioner any time I wash my hair. I don’t know I Mr that’s why, that’s just the way it’s happened in my case.
I gotta be honest, the best thing I’ve found to soften my pubic hair is a simple trick, use body butter. It’s not just for your skin, try massaging some into your hair down there. Sounds weird, but hey, it works! And no, it doesn’t make you smell like cookies or anything crazy
Gently exfoliate or wash with a cleanser that has salicylic acid (let the product sit on your skin for a few minutes before rinsing it off), use condition with shea butter or hyaluronic acid, shave with the grain, apply a small amount of aloe to the area after you dry. Avoid products with fragrances/alcohol they’ll dry out the skin, and use warm water not hot or cold, and you should see some improvement
Alternatively, the Phillips Norelco One Blade electric razor is also pretty good for those get ingrown or razor bumps. It won’t shave as close as a traditional razor, but it will get pretty darn smooth with a lot less bumps forming after
Mayonnaise, just slather that shit on and leave it for an hour. If your man likes to go downtown later, be prepared for him to start craving sammiches
I own a Braun Silk expert ipl thing. It might not be super useful depending the exact shade of your skin. Where it hasn’t been able to fully remove the hair it has at the very least thinned it out and had a softening effect
Conditioner. Not like a lot, just like, whatever is left on my hands after applying it to my regular hair
In my experience, the hair that grows out after waxing or tweezing/epilating comes out softer than when I used to only shave.
Idk if it would work for yours but my undercarriage loves oil. If i trim without oiling every day I will be too prickly to move for fear of stabbing myself but if I oil every day coming out of the shower it stays pretty manageable.
I’m Hispanic so my hair can be pretty rough too. Seconding using actual hair clippers as others have mentioned. What I’ve found works for me is combining that with a scrub that I make that includes espresso ground coffee, oatmeal, raw sugar, cinnamon, and coconut oil and shea butter. Of course be careful about some of those ingredients around your bits to avoid infections, but even when I’m down to stubble it’s not nearly so bad without and it smells nice to boot. Also obviously, YMMV.
I’m about to sound old asf, but I use Magic Shaving Powder. I use regular strength and just take care to not get it ‘inside’ the labia where it’s more delicate.
I use a hair trimmer and then I take a rough-ish towel (like a clean kitchen towel) and rub the area a bunch to basically sand off the rough spikes that are there.
Wax. Or use a cheap men’s beard trimmer.
I use beard shampoo/conditioner on my bush when I’ve got one and it keeps things soft and nice. Just make sure to keep the bubbles on the bush and not in the bush. Rinse real good with the showerhead and you’re ready to rock that fancy clam life!
Check out r/razorfree, it’s a great place to ask body hair related questions!
Coconut oil, and test other beard oil products, as they are formulated for that kind of stuff. Your local sex shop also may have products.
Also I trim mine with scissors instead of a razor.. less poking that way.
Have you looked into laser hair removal? I know this can be challenging for people with dark skin, and of course is way more expensive than most suggestions here. However there have been some technological advancements that have made laser hair removal possible with dark skin, as long as the hair is also dark. Would recommend going to a dermatologist that offers this service as they’ll have the best expertise with dark skin.
It won’t make you completely bald but it will stop the thicker hairs from growing, leaving only thinner hairs behind. This is the only thing that stopped my ingrown hairs. I tried waxing, sugaring, using a beard trimmer, everything. Ingrown hairs still happen with waxing/sugaring, especially with course/curly hair. I’m of Italian descent, so with much lighter skin, but the hair I had was THICC and dense and impossible to keep up with. Now it just needs a little trim every few months.
Coconut oil, which also makes a good lube. To that end, a high quality lube softens the skin and the hair too.
White, curly hair. While I’d love to be strolling around with an angora kitten between my legs I have never found anything that truly changes the texture of pubic hair.
I tried shaving exactly once. Bumpy red skin, and sharp AF growth back that liked to pierce and tangle in underwear and even pants (ouchies).
I use the nair coarse hair. It grows back pretty soft because the acid eats away the base of the hair leaving it a bit tattered aka tapered aka softer at the top of the hair. I leave some of the hair when using it (basically anything that would be hanging out outside of a micro string bikini bottom…or a stripper’s super low cut g string thong).
Definitely do a test patch first though, since your skin may or may not tolerate it.
Personal hair trimmer with a quarter inch or 3/8ths guard on it. They might sell them in the men’s grooming section for beard trimming, but the trimmer doesn’t care who uses it or what it’s used on. I prefer this because it’s much smaller than a full on hair clipper and generally powered by AA battery/batteries so it doesn’t need to be plugged in. Some might even be waterproof, I think.
I use a quarter inch or 3/8ths guard on mine (can’t remember), it keeps things well groomed and neat, the hairs don’t get too long or unruly, keeps things thinned out, and it doesn’t leave me with stubble or ingrown hairs.
e: this is the one i got and use: https://www.amazon.com/Barbasol-Battery-Powered-Single-Blade/dp/B0C1NZBML9
I have a two step system. I use a body hair trimmer (Panasonic ER GK80) to trim everything down – not shaving, trimming, to prevent ingrown hairs. Then, and this is going to sound absolutely mental but I swear it’s changed my life, I take one of those big, wide czech crystal files (the big one in the three size pack) with the rounded end to kind of gently sand the sharp bits off the remaining hair. I’m talking a 30 second quick, gentle brush over the area I’ve just trimmed, and it is crazy how much it gets rid of the prickly feeling.
Get a men’s beard trimmer, it has the guards for different lengths.
I have very sensitive skin that hyper reacts to irritation. I will get itchy welts from my parter’s razor stubble or recently trimmed hairs.
To smooth the sharp ends of the cut hairs it actually helps to gently rub fine sand paper in a circular motion over the freshly trimmed hairs.
i started using my partner’s beard conditioner. it’s magic.
Why does it feel unsexy? It’s natural. Why shave bald? Only prepubescent children are bald down there.
I use a drop of deep conditioner. I am not big on the bald look, hubby likes the bush (definitely came of age in late 70s, early 80s), so I keep it soft as possible. Make sure the conditioner doesn’t get into any of your folds.
How about egg yoke?
New meaning Egg on your face.
I only trim, too, and coconut oil works really well for me!
Having a daily vulva routine has helped me tremendously with ingrown hairs. After shaving, I lightly exfoliate, use tendskin, and then a vulva magic balm.
Honestly? Laser. Did about 5 sessions, not enough to get rid of it but what I have now is very thin and soft. But I’m not sure it is an option for a darker complexion.