I haven’t been sober since I was a teenager. Now I’m 30 and switch between around 10 different substances or so just to make it though the day. I also exercise daily, do yoga, meditate, read self help books but none of it even compares to being in an intoxicated state of any kind.
So, how do you sober folks make it through life day to day?
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I can only speak for myself. But I just cope with life. It sucks 99% of the time. But it is what it is.
10?? Which ones are those?
What you’re describing is being dependent on them. Sober folks function because we’re not dependent on any substances to function.
I just do, not sure how but not a fan of drugs or booze
10 substances? so alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, and weed.. what are the other 6?
I am gonna be real honest here… I like being drunk too. Because the feeling of being sober and being able to listen to your emotions and all the voices in my head, is sometimes too much to handle. But all of the other activities that you mentioned (gym, running, meditation) can help surviving while being sober. I think other guys will probably add something more.
Coffee mostly
Wow dude, you need professional help.
Being sober has changed for me in multiple different points in my life. It’s become easier as I’ve dealt with underlying anger issues, made peace with the creator/universe, learned patience, and came to terms with my ego.
If being sober is this hard for you, prob just means you have some internal work to do
By not being addicted to substances we’ve come to depend on to make it though life.
I have no problem with people using substances occasionally, (and we’re all addicted to things, whether it’s drugs or sex or coffee or food or social media) but if you literally require those substances to make it through the day, that’s a result of choices you’ve made on a daily basis over the past 10+ years.
If you’re not happy about it, you’ll need to do the hard work to detox and learn to stop being dependent on them. If you are happy about it, I guess there’s no need to change.
First you have to identify why you can’t be sober.
I’m California sober.
For me, alcohol always covered up social anxiety and deep rooted insecurity. After a few drinks I could do my job better, be more personable, and hold on to the mask I wore better.
Quitting alcohol (at 37) brought all those things into my life in a way I never experienced before. It wasn’t fun. However it has allowed me to better identify who I am behind the mask. I’m still working on it but, I feel better in my body not drinking.
As for weed, I try to be mindful of when and why I’m consuming. If I’m running away or hiding from something I try to withhold. It doesn’t always work out and sometimes I just need a break from life.
Outside that, I’ll do mushrooms 1-2 a year.
I’m gonna be brutally honest; I think I just tend to be mentally tougher than most people.
I look around my life and I’m basically the only person I know who isn’t either on medication for anxiety/depression, self-medicating with drugs and/or alcohol, or both.
I had a dad who was very mentally tough, even when he was going through some really bad stuff at the end of his life, and I think I got some of that toughness from him.
I don’t want anyone to think that this makes me not have empathy for those who struggle, though. Our society needs to do a much better job of supporting people who struggle, both in material ways and non-material ways.
I think of myself as a pretty chill person. I try not to let things get to me that deeply. Basically, I ask myself:
Will this matter next week? Next month? Six months from now?
If not, it probably isn’t worth worrying about.
I’m 32, 3.5 kids, and own a business so I am extremely busy.
The secret is fulfillment, perspective, duty, and sacrifice.
I have a duty to give my family the best version of myself, which entails being sober.
I have a duty to give my clients the best version of myself, which entails being sober.
I get fulfillment from handling my duties.
On the days where my duties are beating me down and a simply fix like substances serves as a quick get away, I make an emotional sacrifice and refuse to forgo my duties for instant gratification.
I find stuff to enjoy in life and look forward to doing that stuff.
I just walked my dog a ton when I got sober. Like miles per day. She loved it. I did a lot of diy projects and woodworking as well. I drank heavily every day from 18-26 and didn’t even know who I was as an adult without alcohol.
It’s the same way you eat a refrigerator; one bite at a time. I have only recently went sober, after 6 years of daily drinking and a former 4 years of hard drugs, I take it one day at a time. What worked for me was listening and remembering who I was under the influence, and I did not like that person. For me, I’ve returned to the things that I really enjoyed as a kid; from dinosaurs to woodworking, fishing and painting. As an adult, I’ve rekindled a lot of past passions and that’s what I love for now. We live in an information and knowledgeable era, You can learn and pick up any hobby you want. If you want some fun suggestions, hit me up with a DM
The crash of a high sucks and the morning after alcohol also sucks. Not worth it.
You are describing severe drug addiction. Please seek professional help. What helps me is understanding the cost involved and how much money I’m saving not doing drugs.
The answer is that it is precisely the use of the substance that alter your ability to exist without them. People who don’t use them never altered their ability to exist without them by using them in the first place.
Fairly well. I get high from weed every so often but I kind of just live? Workout, go on walks, talk to friends…that’s life.
The same way people have been doing it since forever. Yes people have always used substances, but most haven’t and obviously it is very possible. Sure life has had different demands throughout history, but being addicted is not helping anyone. You have in yourself everything you need to live a life my g
I exercise hard 6 days a week, it makes me feel so upbeat and optimistic about the world. I have about 1 beer a month when family comes to visit and then it sucks for the next 24 hours.
Idk man I feel like everyone has a different balance of chemicals in them. And their personality, mind, spirit, etc. is all different than everyone else due to both nature and nurture. I say as long as you’re happy, genuinely happy, or taking happy steps, then that’s all you can ask for. Life is beauty and terror, and we’re all trying to figure it out.
This is going to sound ridiculous to you, but try Alcoholics Anonymous. You’ll find yourself surrounded by people who have figured out how to function without substances, and who are willing to share that knowledge with you.
Augment that with a sponsor and good therapist, and you’ll find that the work gets easier.
Not easy, but easier.
My brother in christ, 10 different substances?!
If you struggle to be sober for more than a day, that’s probably a sign of some underlying condition. Why can’t you be sober? Is it painful to be sober?
Now, I’m not sober 80% of the time I’m not at work or have responsibilities. But I also acknowledge that I struggle with pretty bad anxiety and depression, and so it helps me with that. But I’m also in therapy and on Anti-anxiety meds.
If you simply dont want to be sober, just because you enjoy being on substances that’s alright (so long as you are able to care for yourself and take care of your responsibilities). But if you are doing it, because you can’t stand the thought of being sober, that’s probably a sign of something, or is just straight addiction.
You are choosing intoxcation to deal with something. Intoxication is a short term fix for a long term problem. You need to identify that problem and come up with a better fix.
Intoxication is not an answer really because
I was kind of like you. What I learned from getting sober is that I had become used to being not sober, being intoxicated was the normal. Getting used to the new normal (sober) took a super long time, after about 8 months I was fully accustomed.
Recently I did drink a it of alcohol and smoked some weed, I did not like the feeling anymore. I felt like I couldn’t function at 100%, even the day after. It felt really odd to not like the things I used for many years.
To make a really long story short, sobriety isn’t as bad as it seems, it’s actually wonderful.
What do I do from day to day? Everything I did while not sober; Work, work out, learn to play music, cook, read,… Nothing has changed, except that I’m sober 100% of the time now.
Spite.
I can say I was a young man who drank, smoked, snorted and tried practically everything. When I decided to quit it all, life changed and I realized I didn’t need any of it. I can have just as much fun and enjoy my life so much better than I thought I did before.
Life is uncomfortable, i just got used to it.
The feeling you have while being functional is how we feel but without the need of substances
My weight loss drug really prevents alcohol but the fun of drinking seriously stopped in my mid to late 20s. Once Friday night fun extended into Sunday brain fog, I just couldn’t. I suggest you go dry for a month but if you physically can’t you need to get yourself committed.
You deal with your emotions and face them head on. Every time you mask your emotions with your substances, your mask gets weaker and weaker. One day you won’t be able to keep masking yourself. That will make your life even worse. Once that happens, you may look back and think, “I chose to ingest these substances when I could’ve just stood up and faced the music.”
Seek professional help, and remember you are the driver of your life. You can keep driving down the road of being numb, or you can hop on that broken road you’re scared off and start to fix it. One day at a time brother
I wake up and do what im supposed to do. Being hungover all the time sounds terrible.
I do it because I need to. Alcohol killed me on my last relapse so I had to learn life without alcohol. It wasn’t easy at first, but it’s way better than dying. I was very dependent on alcohol and it gave me so much energy whenever I was drinking. Turns out, I was just hurting everything around me.
It was very difficult for me to sober up.. but when my wife got pregnant it was very easy to clean up, and while being clean as healthier I guess, she’s been essentially my inspiration to stay clean.
After being fucked up for about 18 years straight, being sober felt like a super power. I am more in control, more myself, have more time, and can actually move forward with life goals.
Sounds like you’re on a dopamine roller coaster every day that never stops. I’m sure it’s exhausting. I would imagine your body doesn’t know which way is up after all of these years.
Not sure what your purpose was in posting here. Do you seek change? Or do you think using is “cool” and want to share about your high functioning addictions?
I’m not judging. I thought I was cool too.
But honestly, I was just hurt, anxious, scared, unsure. It’s important to feel emotions and not run from them.
So to answer your question – I feel more alive than I had felt since childhood.
Good luck.
You have a substance abuse disorder. It’s not about being “mentally tough”
Have you discussed this with your therapist?
For me: caffeine is about it on a daily basis. If I have alcohol, maybe 1 or 2 mixed drinks is about all I can handle or I’m hung over enough the next day that I have trouble if I’m working at all. If I indulge in edibles it’s lost time happening the next day for sure. I don’t use anything harder than edibles: like cocaine or heroine or meth. Too risky for me.
Find the distractions/foci that drugs would replace. Internally and externally, there’s always something. Whether those things work for you is a diff story for everyone.
I used to drink every night. Even started hiding it from my wife. I went through detox due to being addicted to Tramadol at one point because it made my pain go away. I’ve experienced my share of substance abuse.
Every single substance has a cost that you will pay, and it only masks what’s really causing the problem. Putting those vices down was extremely difficult, but it was the best decision ever. I still have rough days, but I no longer need some kind of poison to make it better.
I was sober a couple of years and hated every moment.
I can’t answer your question, but what ten substances? Caffeine and nicotine don’t count.
I feel better sober. It’s that simple.
It’s actually easier to function without being intoxicated.
I cuddle my cat, shoot guns, etc.
Realize i dont need substance to go through the say. Impulse control when around alcohol. Started to ask myself why i needed substance to begin with (i used to be a heavy drinker). List goes on
If you have never not been sober, you wont understand. This is why you say no to Peter Pan and stick with it!
I’m not even sure how to answer this. I don’t need something special to get me through the day whether it’s drugs, alcohol, mental/physical exercise, or other.
There isn’t some existential issue for me that I have to find a method of coping with.
Having children, a good wife and a supportive church family helps.
Sometimes it’s very tough. Then I remember it would be tougher with addiction on top of the rest. Some people are more easily addicted than others, I’m lucky enough to not be one of them.
I just got tired of feeling like crap. It helps I had kiddos as well. I was tired of feeling like a huge let down to them.
ehh, tbh i think the fact that growing up with love and in a nice place with good friends and interest led me to never touch drugs or alcohol in the first place. Now i drink sometimes in the weekends. Never had the need to do otherwise? Think we are a total opposite.
The classic “is life hard because I am always intoxicated?” or “am I always intoxicated because of how hard my life is”.
My dad is an addict and has been his whole life, he has been better at times and when he is better he gets his life together. When his life is together he finds that the urges calm down more and more and that he needs that feeling less. That said, we all have rough days and sometimes you just have to feel it, some of us can get numb to it without becoming dependent, but others are dealt a different hand.
I just copy other people. Works like a charm
I went to AA, got a sponsor, and worked the program until sobriety felt like a gift instead of a burden. I loved intoxication, too, but eventually the cons outweighed the pros and I had kids who needed a sober parent. When I wasn’t sober, I medicated to cope w my problems. Now bc I can’t do that, I have to just stick with them until I solve them. So my life has gotten better bc of that pivot. And so it has become a regenerative cycle.
You have addiction issues
I just do? Idk what to say here as I’m not even a person who needs coffee
Coming from alcohol, you function by taking responsibility for your choices and not fleeing reality into substances. It’s bad at first, but you get used to it. And it’s beither hell, nor scary. It’s being and adult.
You haven’t been sober for a whole day since you were a teenager? I did that for a while until I wound up in jail. I do not recommend this path
In general, I seek natural highs from things like exercise, travel, spending time doing things I enjoy like playing games and talking with friends, I try new adventurous activities, sometimes I go out to rural areas and drive fast, eat new foods. I make it thru the day be being interesting, associating with interesting people, and doing interesting stuff, i don’t really have time for more “substances” than coffee, weed, and a little bit of sugar.
I don’t think I understand your question, are you asking how to cope with stress and negativity or are you asking how to feel good without drugs? Or you’re saying you are a boring person so you’re bored and need to do drugs to spice things up?
Idk. I just do it. Idk what good it does to whine all day. I know 100% that 95% of my issues and problems are self made. They might not be easy to fix or fucked a few thing up but it’s good to know and acknowledge that I did it.
So I can just change them. Step by step.
I wouldn’t want to take drugs or booze all day. Sounds like a chore to me.
I drink caffeine daily and maybe 3-4 alcoholic drinks on a weekend.
I can function that way because I’ve never done it any other way. I eat, sleep, get up, go to work, relax, exercise and do it all over again 5 days a week until the weekend.
I guess you set your mind to it that it must be done and you get on with it. It’s not always easy, but life seldom is.
I doubt I can give you any magic trick that will solve your problem. It seems like you have a lot going on, so take it one step at a time. I think you definitely need professional help to get through it.
I been sober every day of my life. It’s a struggle about 1/4 of them. I am afraid to start getting high, not sure I would have the self control to stop.
First, I hate the idea of “needing” something. I am my own worst critic, and judge myself harshly. Needing something, outside of basic food, water, nutrition, etc. is a weakness that I should develop myself to render unnecessary.
Second, most substances make me feel worse afterward than before. That just sucks. The fun of a night drinking is less fun than it used to be, and the hangover is way worse than it used to be.
I never really liked weed all that much.
I was addicted to nicotine in just about any form I could get for a long time in my younger years, and luckily met a woman I loved enough to stop for. That addiction is still there. The desire to buy a pack of cigarettes when I’m stressed still hits me, but it’s been more than 10 years, and the one time I caved to that feeling, I felt like crap after, so I remind myself of the consequences.
I can tell you that a lot of it had to do with my sense of purpose. I got married, then came kids, goals to give them the best version of me, and of life, that I can.
Deadening myself means taking away from them, and that hits me hard.
Unfortunately, nobody can really give you purpose. You have to find yours. I’d suggest, though, that the substances might be masking the senses you need to find your purpose.
Used to do a lot of substances, eat a lot of food, sex addiction to deal with life in my late twenties.
Started exercising a lot and went to therapy. Found I have bipolar disorder, ocd, and a few other things. Six years later and I’ve been able to keep away from all substances. Still hard though.
Although functional isn’t exactly what I’d call myself so I do get it. I’m clean and healthy but my work and relationships suffer greatly.
Good music windows down and energy drink, good meals good friends, good adventures etc
You have to find purpose to be content.
Most people just put in time on things they don’t care about and as such just get by.
Find a passion, and throw yourself at it. Whether it’s for work or just play it doesn’t matter.
For me I love being outdoors, hiking biking paddling, skiing, etc.
I just live
”Make it through life” sounds like just living would be troublesome. But I guess it is for you hence the substances.
To be honest I have no concerns, no big issues and pretty much no negative thoughts so for me life is easy so there are no problems in function.
I want to add that I know Im in a privileged position with healthy children and partner. Economically we are comfortable and I enjoy my work a lot, I also live in highly functional country.
As a long-time sober alcoholic, a lot better than as a drunk. Better by every measure.
Was an addict for a long time. Got my shit together, now life is far easier. Drugs are a crutch for weak people.
Honestly, pretty easily. I’ve been lucky that I was born with brain chemistry that doesnt make me depressed and up to this point, despite some down times, I’ve lived a pretty easy life all things considered. I dont have bombs being dropped on my head like so many others, ya know?
You started using when you were young… why? What about your day to day life makes it such a necessity outside of the fact that you’re rewired your brain to rely on it?
I haven’t been drunk in years, haven’t been shit faced since my early 20’s.
Im late 30’s now.
I’d say i function quite easily, I’m able to drive when I want, I save a lot of money by not drinking, I’m in full control of my mind and body at all times.
I personally don’t see any value in spending a lot of money to “nerf” yourself and feel like shit the day after. But that’s just me 🤷 I can have fun and do anything I want at any time without it
Well, to put it bluntly… most of us, as we transitioned from teenager to adult, learned to cope with life in ways that did not involve substance abuse.
I don’t mean to sound condescending, that’s not my intent. But it’s also the truth. We all have an outlet of some sort, be it fitness (running, gym, etc.), reading, woodworking, music. Heck, I have a buddy that his stress relief in college was hand-painting miniature figures for tabletop games.
Almost 5yrs sober here. It’s so much fucking better on this side man. The booze and drugs just keep you in a mental prison. Always depressed, everything is shit, people suck, world sucks, life is garbage, etc etc.
Once I got clean, things got a whole lot better. I’m even dropping my antidepressants since I no longer need it. I’m happier, more relaxed, and things don’t bother me as much, which surprised me actually. I always thought I was an angry person, when in reality it was the alcohol mostly.
If you HAVE TO have some coping drug (harm reduction methodology) use THC. That helped me quit everything else and THC has made me chill AF. Not saying you should do it, just that it’s far better than booze, coke, Molly, oxy, benzo, etc.
Good luck to you man. I know first hand how shit life is on drugs. I hope you can find your way out of that hell hole. I wish you the best
How the fuck are you even close to functioning while on 10 different substances throughout the day? People with good and happy lives don’t need escapism.
Not gonna lie I was addicted to sex I been good for 3 years now and I have my days but I fight through it for myself and my family. Just gotta fight the urge man and pray to god for help and find books about what your going through sometimes it’s good tips on how to fight
Poorly, to be honest.
Have you been checked for ADHD?
Fostering resilience is accomplished by putting yourself in challenging situations and pushing through, then getting used to that feeling and developing good habits.
I honestly don’t know how it would be to function on substances. Never had anything other than alcohol and that’s in extremely rare occasion (5-6 times per year?).
Maybe you’ve been on substances for so long you just have forgotten what it was like before them.
One day at a time.
I haven’t had a drink in about 2 and a half years. This is the first time in my adult life i have not been consuuming alcohol constantly. I was at the point of basically killing myself i was drinking so heavivly.
I thank myself everyday for my decision to quit. Its hard to even describe the impact it has had on my mental, and physical well being.
I was drowning myself in alcohol because i was actively avoiding things in my life that I didnt realize. Once i faced those things, the drinking vanished along with them.
Being intoxicated is just a baby blanket that you wrap yourself up in. Its a binky, a thumb to suck on. Its self soothing. But it is not helpful and will keep you stuck mentally.
You just kind of learn to live with the pain. Grow a bit bitter. Convince yourself that’s just life and there’s that so you can give up and it doesn’t hurt as much.
I’m with you, being completely sober sucks balls. But in my case I don’t need 10 different drugs. Only 3 on regular basis, for the past 30 years, and alcohol is not one of them. The trick is moderation. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon.
All I need is cannabis, amphetamine and occasionally LSD. I can’t imagine juggling 10 substances for that long, this is something I only did when I was much younger. But you do you.
Former alcoholic here. I took a month off from drinking 4 years ago on the advice of a mentor after I had no memory of an important conversation my son had with me.
That month was quite difficult and mentally painful. Enough so that I took another month, then another, then 6, and so on.
Eventually, I started finding joy in things I used to miss. Little conversations with my kids, outdoor activities like fishing, reading books, etc. These are what drive me to stay sober. I don’t want to risk going back into a state where I didn’t even know what I was missing. I was barely functioning before.
You need a purpose that goes beyond yourself.
It can be anything, but it can’t just be about yourself.
the thing about having being sober is the standard is that you function on it, but drinking or drugs (ion do heavy ones) temporarily make u feel even better, so it’s like treating yourself and having fun during that buzz or trip.
when u have that buzz or trip as your BASELINE, it eventually becomes dull. and now there’s nothing that’ll ever make you feel better, besides maybe a lethal dose lol
so don’t get addicted folks!
Tbh you probably need to go to a detox facility and then be professionally evaluated by a psychiatrist to see if any kinds of prescribed medications would improve your daily QoL, but that is basically an impossible assessment until you have all traces of your current substances out of your system and your brain chemistry can stabilize to a baseline. (Hence a detox facility)
I am a therapist by trade, and I am a veteran who used to use alcohol to medicate heavily in my early to mid 20s, it took a lot of self reflection, combined with diagnoses of some mental health problems that were treated by medicine for several years before I had done enough work to slowly wean off of them and reach a baseline of life where I am technically unmedicated in my early 30s and truly enjoying and living a peaceful life overall now.
The only substances I “rely” on are CBD gummies to assist with sleep, and CBG gummies that take the place of my previously prescribed Adderall for ADHD because I didn’t like the side effects of that, and the CBG gummies I found give me the energy and focus of the adderall with literally zero side effects and I can function well without either of these things, they just make things a lot easier.
Finding your peace is a different journey for everyone, but relying exclusively on substances to find it will never work, and it will only get harder and harder. I really hope you find the help you need on your journey, and that any of this could help in any way.
There is a lot of things that give me kick to be able to move on. I like to go for a walk in the evening and see nature or some events. I like to exercise. I like to eat tasty foods. I like to have a few beers. Get a good sleep. Get a coffee and some sweets. Have sex. Nice warm shower. Go swimming. I just iterate through it all and then i dont get too dependent on one thing.
Have you played videogames and shared a laugh with the boys. No amount of alcohol will fill that gap.
I was sober up until 26. I didn’t function particularly well. I just pushed down and lived with my problems, because my loved ones had bigger and more immediate problems. Eventually I just couldn’t take it anymore. Tried therapy but it didn’t work
Learn to embrace asceticism and discomfort.
I function way better than I used to. I’m not dependent on substances.
I used to drink quite a bit – happy was a reason for a drink, sad was a reason for a drink, nervous was a reason for a drink, bored… you get the idea.
I was diagnosed with ADHD around age 40, and when I started taking meds for that, how often it occurred to me to want to drink dropped like 90%. Turns out it’s super common for ADHD folks to self medicate with alcohol.
(To be clear, I do still have a drink from time to time, but I go months without even thinking about it, and when I do drink, it’s usually a social gathering and not my idea)
Anyway, despite my not being completely sober, and me not knowing you nearly well enough to suggest how applicable this this info could be for you, it still felt pertinent to pipe up.
Its about being a constant role model for a better world.
I’m over here wondering how you make it through the day using any of ten different substances?
I find life easier sober, not harder
Every substance I’ve tried so far was underwhelming and didn’t do much for me. I’m fine as I am.
Sober sober guy here, not California sober (whatever that means). What always baffles me is how surprised people are by sober people. Alcoholism and drug dependency is so prevalent that being sober comes off as this ground breaking concept.
Honestly and it’s going to come off harsh, you need to build resilience. Choosing to do drugs at potentially the cost of your health and bank account is hard, but so is being sober/clean. You have to make the conscious decision to want to live above the drugs/dependencies, no one else can want/do it for you. Some days are and will suck and that’s okay. But lowering the bar to accepting being addicted isn’t okay.
I hope one day you find the willpower and strength to better yourself and heal from whatever demons that continue to lead you to consuming your addictions.
DM’s are open if you want to talk, OP.
If you need 10 products to handle a day, you are not handling it well.. Normal people don’t need anything. Maybe some caffeine to get through the day.
What is actually bothering you so much that you need to hide into intoxication?
because the thought of getting black out drunk or high and subsequently ruining my brain and health make me very uncomfortable
Function the best I can, with all kinds of anxiety and mental blocks that come and go. But little victories and achievements push me overt that. And in all honesty, if I didn’t focus on my soul I’d probably be drawn to altered states.
I often wonder how people who are always on something function, if I’m being honest. Going through life with things sort of turned down and deadened from substances just wasn’t for me. It may take the pain off of bad times, but it dulls the good experiences as well in my opinion.
What you’re describing sounds more like an addiction than just basic use
The most I drink is about 3-4 over the weekend, usually cider or beer. This post makes me want to quit doing even that much.
counter question: what about being sober makes it impossible for you to function? i like to drink but i can’t have my judgement impaired on a daily basis, don’t want hangovers on a daily basis so i drink maybe one night a week. i love to get high but i don’t want to smell and i notice that i’m somewhat lethargic for a good 24 hours when i do so, so again i only smoke on weekends.
nicotine on the other hand i’m a pretty consistent user and i’m a little irritable when my vape dies. i’ve quit before and could quit again, it’s kind of my only vice.
Idk….I just do 🤷♂️.
I don’t let stress get to me and don’t exactly feel a need to drink or so drugs. Just wake up, get my stuff done and do whatever I want after.
I should say I’ll have a drink every once in a while but it’s not a regular thing and it always tastes like junk.
Coffee helps me make it through the day. Low-grade addiction to Reddit. 😄 Pets, daily exercise (treadmill or walk outside). A daily nap (but I’m in my 50s, you may not require). A loving wife & friends I text every day.
A lot of us do drink and drug occasionally, but moderation is absolutely key. I am about 30 as well and have noticed not drinking everyday makes me feel better physically and mentally. Sounds like you might have some addiction going on, something to consider.
Nothing I say here is with malice.
You are addicted. You have forgotten that you once lived life without drinking / drugs and forgot how to do so. But you’ve done it before and can do it again.
I have never cared for drugs or drinking, but that doesn’t mean I (or most people) are not familiar with ‘some’ form of addiction. I’ll give you mine, which is soda. Drank it my whole life, had a high metabolism offset any weight issues, and was seemingly fine as a kid and young adult.
For the past few years I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that my body is not the same anymore. That I need to take better care of it, because now I actually gain weight due to all the sugar. I’m tired a lot from the low energy. I’m disappointed in myself and how I let my body end up. But even with all that, I only slightly lowered my soda consumption.
It wasn’t until a kidney stone (my first and only so far) that, after dealing with that pain, I had some reflection. “Wow, I’m that age huh.” It was pure, physical proof of my addiction manifest. Now, from someone who would drink 1-2 liters daily, I’m actually fine not having soda for days at a time, and having a single glass on a day I actually have some.
The realization hits different when the proof stares you in the face. Unfortunately when it comes to alcohol or drugs, that proof can be much, much worse than my own. It could come in the form of drunk driving, domestic abuse, violence, sheer stupidity leading to a fatal accident, liver failure, desperation leading to all your money being lost, whatever.
Because of all of the above, I would suggest you really come to terms with the fact that you are not a kid anymore, face your own mortality, and realize someday (soon), you’re going to have one of these wake-up calls. Whether you’ll take action before these signals or after is on you, but the damage from a drinking addiction can be a lot more irreversible than simple weight gain and a kidney stone.
I pretend everything is okay. I’ve learned if you fake being happy, then looking content almost becomes second nature.
Life isn’t making you a target, it’s challenging you.
Just a mindset dude. If you view everything as something you can (choose to) overcome, instead of something setting you back, it not only becomes more tolerable, but can become kind of fun.
I’ve lost everything twice, through absolutely no control of my own (’08 crisis setting back my family so far most, including my father couldn’t recover; and again when I was flooded in a house I was renting that the owner did not have insurance on).
I simply downsized both times, picked a few things I could improve on, and made sure I tried harder than ever before.
Life lets her fuckin balls swing sometimes, you just have to give them a kick.
I’m straight edge and just function fine. Idk maybe I don’t know any better. This is just what life is.
You’re a hardcore addict, and you’re addicted to all of those substances. You shouldn’t be “switching between 10 different substances” to get through the day, and you need some intense rehab to get clean.
I drink alcohol occasionally, and only a few glasses max at any given time. Weed is in gummy form, and I only take them at night time when the insomnia hits. My biggest addiction is actually caffeine, and I need it to slug through the day.
What you’re talking about is hard addiction, and you need to look into sober programs to reset yourself (rehab, support groups, etc).
I would suggest even looking into drug-assisted therapy to “rewire” your brain, but based on your description here I would strongly advise against it because I would bet money that someone in your social circle “knows how to micro dose”, and is doing it incorrectly.
I am 6 months sober and I remember feeling like you. Rawdogging life is actually more enjoyable. Took an adjustment period but nowadays the only thing I really miss is getting high and watching a movie. The rest is so dumb, I don’t even consider going back ever
I’m sober 6 months a year and a heavy alcoholic the other 6 months, sober life is honestly so boring, I can go to the gym, drive my truck, eat breakfast, and drive my boat, but it feels like my guard is up. When I’m drinking I’m extremely honest, happy, and let my guard down. So yes I can function sober or intoxicated but life is less pleasurable sober. I’m 32
I also hadn’t been sober for any stretch since I was a teenager. I started smoking weed at 12, and by 16 I had done most of the hard drugs one might mention.
After a while your brain heals, re-learns how to make dopamine. You begin to enjoy things in life and have goals again. Then completing those goals actually makes you happy.
None of the mentioned can help until you top intoxicating yourself. No point in doing yoga, meditating and whatnot if you’re not sober continuously.
I felt like I’m losing time when intoxicated and takes a while to be 100% again. Since there’s a lot of things I like to do I stopped drinking.
It depends on why you want to sober up, or what it is exactly you’re trying do.
For me, I loved the care free nature of being intoxicated, but more importantly, it brought out major positive social behaviours I’d not otherwise have.
So, I spend time figuring out what I exactly liked about alcohol and what traits I could adopt in a constructive manner to enhance sober me.
Honestly man, based on your responses where you’re not engaging in any meaningful way to people’s replies nor are you indicating any desire to get sober, I really don’t understand why you even made this post in the first place. It sounds to me like you’re perfectly content committing to a lifestyle that’s inevitably going to lead to death.
You need a dopamine detox. Life isn’t supposed to be crazy at all times. Sometimes it’s okay to just chill out.
I function by functioning sober. The functional part of my life, including work, is not worthy of getting the pleasure of interacting with my desoberized personas.
Being intoxicated is a recreational treat. I’m not willing to sacrifice that treat to the rest of my adulting. It’s for myself and my friends/family only.
10 substance for daily use? Tell me more…
Barely
I never started and a sober life has always been what I’m used to.
Sounds like you have a substance abuse problem and should enter your into a program.
Life is good sober and straight.
I like my brain to function at top level. I keep busy and make things.
I thought the same way in my twenties. Having kids helped.
Games, friends, gym and repeat. Good friends is the best medicine, never fails.
Find a distraction so I don’t have to think about life. Usually by immersing myself in media like video games, movies, anime, etc.
Discipline. You have to master yourself. Ask yourself is it because you like it so much? I don’t depend on Alcohol to cope/introspection.
I don’t reckon most men have ever been reliant on 10 different substances at once. I have no idea how to go about getting off all that except in patient treatment. Most I was ever dependent on was alchohol on cigerrettes, and I quit that cold turkey, which is not something everyone can do and not something I would suggest in your case, as those withdrawals would likely be legendary.
I prefer to not be in an intoxicated state of mind. I dislike the feeling of not being in control and in an unclear state of mind so it’s extremely easy to stay sober. I am simply not drawn to it which I guess I am lucky in that sense. I think you assume everyone enjoys being intoxicated like you do which simply isn’t the case. I will say I still sometimes drink alcohol but it is usually once or twice a year if at all. I think it’s been like 2 to 3 years since the last time I drank? Usually only on special occasions is when I drink but I would typically crash at whoevers place we were drinking at and since I got diagnosed with sleep apnea I don’t really crash at other people’s place as I would have to bring the cpap machine which is a hassle.
Believe it or not, I’d be at just as big a disadvantage taking all those drugs. Your brain gets used to the status quo. Please keep up on your rehab efforts and don’t be afraid that you’re too far gone to get help.
Just gotta stay sober for today. Tomorrow can be a different story but as long as its today, am not gonna drink. 11 months sober.
Honestly, you need to get some help. If you need to be drugged up to make it through the day then you have serious issues and should talk with a therapist immediately.
As far as your question goes, I find a lot of joy in things I encounter on a daily basis – my wife and sons, friends, brothers, nature, music, etc. It’s not that hard to get through the day if you pay attention to what’s around you.
Through pure anguish and determination. Also sex. Lots of sex.
Essentially pick a less detrimental vice.
The people at r/stopdrinking have a really great community. I’ve been doing my best to cut back because I’ve been having horrible Hangxeity in the he morning and it’s been affecting my work.
The only time I can ever control it is around coworkers because I’ve seen a few people in my work life get totally trashed and lose their jobs, as far as advice all I can say is that when I get home I try my best to not leave the house because I know I’m likely to drink or go buy alcohol. I’m in a very walkable city and I know I can’t do this forever, still trying to find a balance.
I used to drink. Now I don’t. I much prefer the non drinking version of me.
Brother. I think you might have some serious issues and might want to consider taking yourself. Either in patient care or rehab.
Tell your doctor / therapist you want help
I’m not “sober” but I cut out booze a little while back. The ROI is simply awful, and it’s a nasty substance. I drank multiple drinks probably every night for 2 decades. But eventually I realized I don’t need booze, and it was just making my life that little bit worse. And not doing my body any favors.
For whatever reason I’ve always been into mind altering stuff, to help regulate or cope emotionally or just for fun. Or to fill a void, I don’t know. But at this point in my life I’ve moved toward moderation and way gentler stuff, and I’m aspiring to not use anything. Therapy is part of that, but the other is just me and time and trying to work through it.
Well…we don’t have addition issues 🤷🏻♂️
Crazy theory…you don’t need those substances to function
I’ve quit weed 3 months ago after smoking most of my life, I can’t believe what have I been missing. Everything just…works.
>make it through life
What do you mean by that? Life just goes by while you do stuff.
Right now my routine is:
I wake up, go to work, I go back home, I make something to eat, I eat while browsing reddit, I take a nap, I do some housework, I play some videogames, I annoy my wife for a bit, I make dinner, I eat dinner while watching some series, I take a cold shower because it’s already 40°C (105°F) in June and I want to rip my skin off, I watch stupid shit on my phone for a bit and I go to bed.
It not the most exciting life, but it’s mine and I like it.
(20M)I smoke on weekends, but during the week my goals are what keep me sober, I’ve fallen into weed and alcohol binges for a week or two but at the end of the day I have loved ones that I have to take care of. I’m married now to a wonderful lady and I’m blessed to have her, so between taking care of my mother, nephew, and new wife I have to be sober to run my business and make a living and that’s what keeps me motivated, I still want to smoke every night, and admittedly I probably would if I wasn’t on probation. Other hard drugs have never interested me even though I was around friends and adults who did and currently do take hard shit. If I’m having a rough day I go out on the porch and smoke a black and mild with some coffee and just chill for like 30 mins. Hope you can move towards being more sober OP, every life is valuable and as men there is no greater shame than to shy away from life’s challenges.
Only a person who has been through addiction will understand this, but I remember at one point in my life I was using drugs to be sober lol .. if I didn’t have them id be fucked up
Very difficulty, but it’s one day at the time. Otherwise I’ll be a loser
depressedly but sharp, but hey i like the lyfstyle
Comment section reeks of survivorship bias
I do drugs…. Not every day. But every blue moon. It helps
Greater purpose than self pleasure alone. Without that even drugs will stop being fun.
How do you deal with not being addicted to shooting space heroin up your butt? Oh you’ve never tried?
That’s what it’s like for me. My normal is never having been addicted to anything that isn’t cigarettes. I’ve always functioned this way.
12 step is a big part of my life. Im atheist, by the way. It works well, philosophically, if you can mentally replace the idea of god with something bigger than you. My life is full of sober activities and a community of intimate relationships now.
To be honest, being entirely sober was a fear of mine. I wondered how I would meet women and friends. It hasnt been an issue at all. My life is so much better now.
I would suggest hitting some SMART (smartrecovery.org) meetings if you’re interested in recovery. SMART has helped me rediscover life after over 20 years of alcohol abuse. I like SMART because it isn’t dogmatic like some of the other programs, and also because it doesn’t just focus on quitting—it emphasizes learning to fully live after recovery. To me, that’s what it sounds like you’re asking for.
A major part of recovery for me has been learning to sit in discomfort. Sometimes life is hard, and the knee-jerk reaction to immediately numb out is detrimental to one’s growth in the long run. Life without alcohol has given me more energy/drive to do the things I actually enjoy and to be fully present in my own life.
Feel free to reach out—either here or via DM—if you have any questions.
Apart from sleep, good food and water? Music.
Lots and lots of cynicism