Hi y’all, my (38M) dating life always have been 10 years age range of younger/ older than me, though I kept it open-minded. I am an Asian man, so I look significantly younger. I earn a lot more than I need to live comfortably. I connected with this handsome man (54M) and I am absolutely crazy about him. I want to marry that man someday if not tomorrow. But I always worry that if I don’t die significantly early, I would live so much longer than my man, and I am not exactly happy about being romantically lonely at my old-age. I am also not very keen on dating again in my 60s and 70s. And I can’t guarantee my body will give out by 60. So my questions to the younger ones in the relationships, how do you make peace with this thought?
Second question is on the societal judgement. I know I shouldn’t care but very likely I will be looked at as a gold digger or opportunist even though I would be the breadwinner of the household. But hear me out, I am an 38 yo looking like 25-28yo. I still get ID checked in the UK.
I know I put a lot of assumptions about my health and his health but you know what I meant.
Best wishes to all your relationships!
TLDR: what’s your game plan if the older spouse passes away?
Comments
I don’t think there’s anything for it other than dating again if that does happen. Plenty of people date in their 60s.
I’m your age married to someone in their 50s. Life is uncertain. Partner is in great health while I’ve already had cancer. One of us will go first regardless unless we die together in an accident or something.
Yes, your partner is more likely to die first if we only look at age. We can do things like avoid risky behavior like riding motorcycles or doing intravenous drugs. We can prioritize our health and exercise and eat right. We still don’t really know when our or their time will come.
I’m not saying it’s a non issue or that you shouldn’t think about it but just remember that we really can’t know what the future will hold.
What do you think your life will be like if you don’t stay with the person you love?
My mum is 70 and was a widow. Two years ago she met someone new at a local pup with a tribute act. I’m helping them over in together next month. You can’t think about too far into the future. If you’ve met your guy, just enjoy yourself and have fun. He’ll have plenty of life left in him at 54.