This is an ask for support and advice post.
Almost 40. At this age, I thought we should already be well sorted, emotionally stable men. I have a good family, strong support from my own parents, and a well-paying stable job that is about to enter new trajectories. Everything about this is of envy, and something I should be proud of. Which I am.
But I don’t feel I have it together. I recently returned to work after further studies, and have secured a much valuable employment opportunity abroad.
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I am still getting affected by the feedback I receive at work, how constructive it may be. E.g. I feel (embarrassing) affected by bosses’ tone of voice, and start to beat myself up knowing I had not done well.
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I worry about expectations at work, that I will not do as well as people expect and it shows me to be a terrible employee.
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Having secured a good employment opportunity, I then develop major imposter syndrome and start to question if the company made the right choice.
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On the surface I am keeping it all together but am paddling hard underneath like a duck. I am not sure if this is false bravado to keep me going and one day it will crumble.
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The new employment involves a big move across state and the magnitude of change scares me.
This, coupled with the responsibility of being a father tires me till no end. I am constantly trying to tell myself I am worthy, and criticism is normal and useful. But some days are really tough.
How do you guys keep it together? Any form of encouragement and wisdom for a fellow man? I think I need to toughen up and build my sense of self worth and am not sure how to do it.
Comments
Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of /u/Areyousure_1213’s post (if available):
This is an ask for support and advice post.
Almost 40. At this age, I thought we should already be well sorted, emotionally stable men. I have a good family, strong support from my own parents, and a well-paying stable job that is about to enter new trajectories. Everything about this is of envy, and something I should be proud of. Which I am.
But I don’t feel I have it together. I recently returned to work after further studies, and have secured a much valuable employment opportunity abroad.
I am still getting affected by the feedback I receive at work, how constructive it may be. E.g. I feel (embarrassing) affected by bosses’ tone of voice, and start to beat myself up knowing I had not done well.
I worry about expectations at work, that I will not do as well as people expect and it shows me to be a terrible employee.
Having secured a good employment opportunity, I then develop major imposter syndrome and start to question if the company made the right choice.
On the surface I am keeping it all together but am paddling hard underneath like a duck. I am not sure if this is false bravado to keep me going and one day it will crumble.
The new employment involves a big move across state and the magnitude of change scares me.
This, coupled with the responsibility of being a father tires me till no end. I am constantly trying to tell myself I am worthy, and criticism is normal and useful. But some days are really tough.
How do you guys keep it together? Any form of encouragement and wisdom for a fellow man? I think I need to toughen up and build my sense of self worth and am not sure how to do it.
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Change. It’s a bitch.
Use your family as the motivation to keep pushing! Insecure at work? Bust your butt outside of work to improve yourself and your skillset. It’s ok to feel uncomfortable but look how far you’ve come, you can do this!!