I’ve tried cutting contact distracting myself even dating again but they still cross my mind all the time and i feel stuck between knowing i deserve better and missing what we had how do you actually move on without feeling like you’re just pretending you’re over it
How do you actually let go of someone you still care about but know isn’t good for you
r/Advice
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You have to properly grieve the relationship and accept that it’s over.
Sounds like you need therapy to properly work through the break up.
It sucks, but it’s normal to miss them. Feel it don’t rush it away. Keep reminding yourself why they’re not good for you. Time, distance, and new experiences will help. It’s not pretending it’s slowly choosing yourself more.
People you cared about will never fully leave your mind, they are a part of your past, one that involves pleasant memories. Don’t get frustrated when they pop into your head, just derail any thoughts of regret or wanting to reach out to them as best you can. Therapy might be helpful if you find difficultly doing this.
You acknowledge that your feelings were real, the good times were good, but also that it wasn’t healthy and you’re choosing to live a better life away from them. Calling out a wave of nostalgia or loneliness or horniness for what it is instead of trying to give it this mysterious pull can help.
You need to understand why you have to let go of them. I don’t have experience from romantic relationships, but from my experience with ‘friends’ who I decided to no contact with, when you understand their mentality and get to know yourself, it gets really easy to remove people from your life.