Men with daughters around 12-15, how do you bond with your daughter/s? I find it very easy with my teenage son – dirt bikes, sport, food and outdoorsy things. It’s different with my daughter as I can’t seem to find a bonding activity that feels similar to bonding with my son. Any hints or tips are appreciated!
How do you bond with your daughter?
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Men with daughters around 12-15, how do you bond with your daughter/s? I find it very easy with my teenage son – dirt bikes, sport, food and outdoorsy things. It’s different with my daughter as I can’t seem to find a bonding activity that feels similar to bonding with my son. Any hints or tips are appreciated!
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I guess find out what her interests/hobbies are and engage in those with her?
What are your common interests with her?
Start there.
I bond with mine by watching movies from my youth with her. And watching new movies with her that she likes
I really bonded with my dad over cooking! We both are huge foodies that love feeding people, but anything you both can relate to
Ive cultivated my daughter to be athletic, so we play basketball, volleyball, soccer, baseball and a game we invented called “Volleypong” where we use the Volleyball like a ping pong ball on a concrete ping pong table in a park.
Biking, scooting, skateboard and skates are all good, either to replace a trip in a car or if you drive somewhere with nice paved paths to explore. This is one of the only times shell start chatting with me unprompted abt things in her life. And then, this is key, dont be judgmental! And dont tell her mother ANYTHING!
Good luck OP.
I hiked with my daughter her whole life. She is also in jujitsu. She loves board games. Mostly they just want time with you. Go for walks even. Me and my daughter have a nightly walk when she’s with me.
Such a great question, OP!
What are her interests? My dad never bonded with me because he didn’t really take an interest in my life and hobbies. He expected my mom to do that, but then she never really shared my interests either.
Also, be open about “feminine” things. If you act like her period, hormonal changes, feminine interests, and life problems are gross or weird, she won’t see you as a safe person to bond with.
Your bond has to start from birth, you have to be her biggest fan, her protector and her best friend. Anything short of that and when preteens arrive you’re toast until they are 35.
We both like cats & movies.
Did audio books with her, watched movies of interest to her, had her build me music playlists, had her help plan vacations, and let her decorate my Jeep.
Take her out to eat somewhere she would like or if she likes trying new things then maybe try new cuisines together. Once teen girls get their blood sugar up they are more talkative. ;0) Works on grown women, too!
Father of an 18yo female here: first don’t try to force the bonding. Find something the two of you are interested in doing or trying together. Some examples:
bike riding,
photography,
roller skating,
kite flying,
cooking/baking,
target shooting/archery,
working out,
playing Dungeons & Dragons,
learning a new language,
learning a musical instrument,
reading a book together,
etc., etc.
My daughter is a voracious reader; we will pick a book and the two of us will read together and discuss it. Sitting with her in silence as the two of us read together is a wonderful time that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Keep in mind you may have to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. Be enthusiastic about this and think of it as a chance to try something new.
Good luck and good for you that you want to bond with your daughter.
I have a daughter, talking to her was the most important. Just hanging out. I treated her like my friend. She is grown now, tells me I was awesome. Be honest with her, even the tough questions, be open. I took her fishing, hiking, and we did martial arts together. I also bothered her a lot, not letting her withdraw, I stayed in close contact. I wanted to know what was going on in her life.
Mine(11) is very into sports and reading. So I do all those things with her. We have reading times, I practice volleyball, basketball, lacrosse, soccer, and cheer with her
My dad and I would go to the driving range, go river floating, and in the winter wed just play board games whenever I asked. Im 30 now and we go to breakfast alone sometimes, baseball games, museums, etc.
Is it possible that she likes dirt bikes, sports, food, and outdoorsy things? Has she been invited to these conversations and events?
When I was younger, my dad and I would play basketball and throw the football around. I didn’t play sports, but it was still fun to play. I still love sports today because of him.
If she genuinely has no interest in these things, what are her interests? My dad knows all about certain musicals and bands simply because my sister likes them.
My dad used to play Xbox games with me, take me on mountain bike rides, he was very into music and we’d bond a little over that, always very interested in my schooling and career, taught me to draw, tried to show me how to cook but I wasn’t very interested😂
All in all I don’t think it’s down to what you do. I wasn’t always interested in the things my dad liked or wanted to show me but I sure do appreciate it now I’m older. Just take interest and encourage her in the things she likes to do. You could also try to include her in your own hobbies- has she ever rode a dirt bike? Are there any outdoorsy things she might want to join you for? She might surprise you and the worst she can say is no.
As long as she knows you’re there and want to have a relationship with her, you’ll form one.
Ask her what she wants to do, learn about her, do that, have days where you do things just the two of you.
Ask her if she wants to do those things as well, she might.
Find a hobby the two of you share and do that together.
My hs girlfriends dad always watched whatever dramatic show she wanted to watch and without complaint or having his phone with him. Here was this biker looking dude who was fully caught up on gossip girl, vampire diaries and so on. Just their thing they did together.
Woman here. OP, the best thing you can do is talk with her. Find out what she likes and see if you have any activities in common. Taking her to coffee or lunch can be a great way to start chatting with her and find out about her interests. If there isn’t anything you can see yourself enjoying, think of something you enjoy that you think she will like and ask her if she wants to try it. Maybe you can learn something together. Explore something that neither of you have ever done. Mayne the two of you will find an amazing new hobby or something you both hate LOL! Just communicate with her and try.
She’s 12 right now, and I’ve been asking her about all sorts of things. We include the kids in conversation at dinner, even about work. They mostly just listen. I like to bring up things I used to do with my siblings when we were their age, and I ask them what their interests are. My daughter likes to watch these youtube videos where they analyze movies and video games, ao I ask her about it. She gets animated talking about it so I try to find more about it and give her what I thought about it.
Just show some interest in their interests and share yours with them. Video games, reading, playing with cats, board games, etc.