Every time I make a choice, even small ones, I immediately start wondering if it was the wrong one. Should I have waited? Should I have said something different? It’s like my brain can’t let anything go. I end up stuck in loops over stuff that probably doesn’t even matter. How do people move forward without constantly doubting themselves?
How do you deal with always second-guessing your decisions?
r/Advice
Comments
I think that very deliberately thinking about what is to follow and how you can potentially correct what is already done (so, understanding that what is done is done… accepting that there is no “undo” button in real life) is more productive and potentially healthy. At least that is what I try to do.
For example, if I am in a social situation wherein I am awkward and fail to commiunicate something that I see so clearly in my head but for which I do not yet have the words, rather than ruminate, I (at the very least) try to put to words the idea that I wanted to communicate in exactly the way I want now that I have the benefit of retrospection. After that, instead of thinking to myself, “why didn’t I just say that? I wish that I said that…” I will research the topic of conversation, so I can outfit myself with the words, the tools that I need to avoid stumbling in similar situations moving forwards.
Also, thinking back to how it felt to be in that very moment and understanding that I did not do exactly as I would have liked to have done simply because I was living it. There is something about pain that makes it easier to undergo in real time rather than in retrospect or, even worse, in anticipation. The present is never the issue—it is always the self-reflection before and afterwards that gets you, causing you to second-guess yourself.