MIL currently lives nearby (that wasn’t always the case) which tbh impacts life with DH, and our marriage.
Short & sweet: it sucks. Big, ha1ry, d@ngling balls, pardon my French. I fantasize what it would be like if she weren’t so prominently in the picture. I nag to my husband about it. 🙈
I feel trapped in my own home, and am always anxious about her visits (current default is 2x week!) and the next weird or unhygienic thing she’s going to do/say.
We’ve had our altercations over the years, related to her intrusiveness, desire to push her ideas of what should happen, and things she did I wasn’t comfortable with that I’d call her out on.
She’s constantly breathing down my neck to see the kids.
Yes – DH demands I fit her in, and sure enough, the kids do have some fun with her. He wants them to have a relationship, which all parties involved seem to enjoy to various degrees, except me, so it would be selfish not to.
She’s like a teenager in a senior body, so of course she’ll be mildly entertaining to the kiddos!
To me, her presence is immensely draining.
Plus, I have to watch her watch them, because I don’t trust her.
Now, before someone says “let DH deal with her, you only have her over when he’s home, or he takes the kids to see her on weekends”… that would come at a price I’m not willing to pay.
DH works a lot (main breadwinner) and when he’s not working, I’m so excited to spend time with him, not with MIL there as well.
The last thing I want is for him and the kids to disappear to his mom’s and miss out on time with them, just being us – a nuclear family!
Last but not least, I’d rather be present to oversee the weird sh#t she does.
Example: Last year on Easter, they went to her place and I was like okay, I’ll gladly opt out.
Well – when they came back, kiddo showed me a glass trinket grandma gave her, and it was broken. A broken glass window hanger from goodwill, only held together by a flimsy scrap of metal, that she gave to my barely 7 year old. I was livid. DH didn’t know and also wasn’t too bothered by it. So yeah… damn right I’ll helicopter. It’s necessary.
Are you in a similar situation? How do you handle it?
Anything you can think of to make this situation more palatable, or is it a case of putting my big girl panties on and sucking it up?
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Does she call before coming over ? Or does just show up ?