I ask this as an introvert, but honestly for those who have girlfriends even when they thought it was impossible, how did you do it?
how do you even get a girlfriend?
r/AskMen
I ask this as an introvert, but honestly for those who have girlfriends even when they thought it was impossible, how did you do it?
Comments
You talk to them
You don’t?🤷🏻♂️ They’ve always come to me, and that’s the best advice I can give. Do not chase a person. Be your natural self, and you’ll find what you want.
Being introvert isn’t a genetic treat. You have to talk, show interest.
Any girlfriend I’ve ever had, I approached them. And I’m an introvert also
Be yourself and focus on making you the best and healthiest you there is, both physically and mentally. It will then just happen.
Be handsome, charming, a bit mysterious, and have lived an interesting, and almost unbelievable life.
Give up searching for someone. Be your authentic self and be open minded to expressing yourself and exploring new possibilities. Put yourself out there in new ways for the sake of putting yourself out there and discovering your best self and someone will come to you.
That’s the neat part, you don’t
The brief time I had a girlfriend, it’s because we met at work. But yes, human connection generally requires interacting with people and being in each other’s lives somehow. That sounds flippant, but as someone who’s an antisocial hermit, it simply didn’t and couldn’t happen when I follow my impulses and stay far away from people, in the same way you can’t start a fire without the presence of oxygen.
No idea and I’m getting closer to 40. Genetic engineering is way easier to do.
Be excellent in their presence, then withdraw. But seriously why is every single post here today breaking the rules. The mods already got one.
Tacos
Having a platonic female friend makes meeting women a lot easier.
You are open and honest. It’s hard, but doing this is the most direct way to get an answer
I haven’t done it in modern times. I guess you gotta do Minecraft to them until you fall in love or some shit. Idk.
First off. Love yourself. For real. If you don’t love yourself, why would anyone love you? Second? Be good at something. Anything. Be excited about it. I don’t care what it is. If you think your Warhammer army is the thing you want your thing, do so. You’ll filter out all the girls who won’t be cool with Warhammer being a part of your life. That’s a win for all parties. Might be a bit harder though, haha. Depending how high the need for a gf is on your ladder of needs, maybe you can find something else?
You don’t ask Reddit that’s for sure.
Invite them over to hang out and watch a movie, but really just have sex with her creating a soul tie and now she’s your gf who won’t leave. Works 4 out 5 times
Honestly 2 things are important,
1 is to make yourself the best version of yourself you can be, and always try to better yourself.
If you dont like who you are then how can you expect someone else to?
And 2 is to actually get out there, meet new people
If you dont meet new people how will you ever meet “the one”
How old are you OP because the answer changes. It ranges from stop worrying, to start changing. Let’s start in the middle and assume you’re a 20 something. Ive had two girlfriends. One was like a middle/Highschool sweetheart. Let’s assume Youre beyond that. The second was a co-worker. And that’s where I’ll link them. Proximity and attraction. You need to be there. “There” is wherever you think your future lover is. And “there” should be where you want to be first and foremost, but in reality it’s a place you frequent. For me it was school and then work. Now it’s a coffee shop. But funny enough the girl I’m seeing now came from hinge. DO BOTH. But spend 70% real life 30% dating app. Trust me you, if you’re not conventionally attractive then invest in fashion and you don’t need to be shredded but be healthy. Shave if you can’t have full facial hair. And talk to people, start with a compliment, get them to talk about themselves. Get a number become friends. When you’re in as a friend say, “do you ever think about what a relationship between us would look like” it’s the long con but do you want to be with someone you can’t even be friends with? If you’re feeling confident then skip straight to a date. I’ve done both with success to atleast explore. If anything you’ll become more experienced talking or , well having sex.
Some things about me for context, I’ve been single about 4 years now. A lot of flings. A lot of growing. Part of why I’m single is in hindsight because I think there’s a plague of non-commitment from 21-26. People eventually start to mellow out and now, almost every new girl i start seeing feels honestly closer and closer to a keeper. My compass is getting more accurate. And that sucks. Because now my would be relationships are not even ending becsuse of something toxic. But because we are mature enough to recognize we won’t work and won’t force it or hide it with sex; but we stay friends(thats how love can work). I’m mentioning this because people are never ready for these stepping stone relationships. Where chaos slowly starts to fade until, you meet someone and figure it out together. I’m nearing my 30s now. And if you’re like me then an extra but of advice. You gotta try and find someone who isn’t jaded yet. Really try to ask them about their history.
Girl I’m seeing right now hasnt been on the apps long and before that was in a long term relationship and then took a break before dating. A lot of manosphere guys will be up in arms and say well that doesn’t mean she was celibate, Well she says she took that too. For me thats a unicorn, someone who sheltered themselves from the chaos of dating apps and is open to love ? I damn sure hope this is the one and third times the charm. But that took four freaking years of self discovery, real self discovery, not participating in trends but trying things and responding to how it feels. Going my own way and then slowly becoming surrounded by good people and strong relationships, so that when I did look for a partner I was a fully* formed person. Full as I can be with potentially only a third of my life complete.
TLDR: become who you are first, your emotions are a great teacher, guided by your rationality. Try new things and when you have a good grasp on who you are, you will likely also be healthier and better looking. Build a social safety net of friends (both sexes is important) and family; get to know girls you find attractive. Become resilient to rejection, it will work eventually.
Buy a yacht
32 year old AuDHD introvert who just got married a couple months ago to the girl I’be been with for 5 years here.
Personally, this how I did it.
I realised I wanted/deserved more out of life than I was giving myself.
Made an OKCupid account with no expectations, but with total openness amd acceptance of rejection.
Messaged a woman who was equal parts wholesome content, utter cringe, and with things I was genuinely curious about.
Messaged her a wholesome pick up line:
“TITANIC!!!
Sorry, that’s just my ice breaker.”
(She has since told me that initial message got her interested immediately cuz, she was sick of: “sup”, dick pic , and “wanna fuck?”)
Proceeded to talk for a month. Held absolutely nothing back. I laid bare my cringe, she laid bare hers. We liked it.
Three dates later we were bf and gf. 1 year later she moved in with me. 1 year later we were engaged. 3 years later we got married.
Now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.
So, tl:dr. Put yourself out there, be comfortable with rejection, find someone who matches your weird, be unapologetically yourself. Be friends first, then whatever else you wanna be. You’ll know they’re “the one” or whatever when you tangibly noticing yourself growing and living up to the best version of you. Above all, be patient my guy. You got this.
If you see a girl you like make sure she sees you a few more times and one day say hello and something along the lines of “Have you just moved here” or “do you work here because I notice you here all the time” then introduce yourself.
You talk to them and befriend them, then you invite them to activities just the two of you.
Glad you asked this because I thought it was impossible as well until I got one. Super late bloomer, didn’t date until I was 27. That means I didn’t have any gf throughout school and 6 years in the workforce. When I was doing bad things to my body, to my health, I would always justify it and say to myself that I won’t get a wife anyway so it’s ok. Then during the pandemic I just got so lonely and wanted to experience a relationship and sex before I die at least. I went on a dating app, and after gaining the confidence to say stuff I normally could not in person, I was able to meet this girl and luckily she found me funny and charming. I was so in my head before that I was unlovable because I didn’t have any game and my interests were gaming and underground cinema. I realized I could like those and still attract someone.
My advice is, as an introvert, find something in common you can work with to engage the girl and from there, just get to know her as a person, do not put her on a pedestal and be honest. It helps to clean up and check out current fashion trends as well because looks get your foot in the door
I focused on my career, and she found me.
You don’t need to focus on your career, but you need to focus on something which makes you worth finding.
Randomly let out a mating call
Some of us are just unfortunate. You’d be surprised how many people out there, both men and women, will never be able to find a partner. It’s just a sad fact of life. Just like some people are physically or mentally disabled, some people are socially disabled and you have to live your life with that disability.
Apologize, I took all of them from you.
But in my cases mostly, as I know:
They envy other girls around you,
They thought you rich
They thought you smart, like street smart mostly
You actually attractive – not handsome but attractive
So good luck.
Focus, time, effort and confidrnce
Online dating opens up the world to meeting women who are single and looking for a relationship. Stay away from hookup sites and be honest about yourself even if you think it’s unappealing. If the right person is out there it’ll work. You still have to make a move as it were and send out messages but honestly if you aren’t a complete moron and sex driven women looking for a relationship will respond. I know a woman who was online dating and it was a sea of dick pics, a married man looking for a hookup and one guy wanted to be her feeder!
Being “normal” is something different.
From the store