If you’ve done it, how did it go? Is it a red flag? Does it not matter at this stage of life? If you’ve got experience with this I’d love to hear about it!
If you’ve done it, how did it go? Is it a red flag? Does it not matter at this stage of life? If you’ve got experience with this I’d love to hear about it!
Comments
I was just talking bout this at a party. Most people I know have a 5-10 range but the closer to 10 years they get the more drama we have found.
Hiding a wife, hiding a child, sexual harassment, or just regular harassment.
The question is very vague. It really depends on the maturity of each person.
I have dated a 40 year old that was less mature than the 33 y/o I’m seeing now.
When you are 55 he will already be retired, at 65 when you retire he will be 75 and he will be an old man and you will have to take care of him instead of taking advantage. Their life expectancy is shorter than ours, I systematically avoid
I’d barely count that as an age gap.
I dated a guy who was 12 years older when I was around 26 but mentally he was exactly the same age as me lol
I’ve done age gap relationships in my 30s and 40s with older men. I really think it matters less the older you are. Age gap relationships are really only concerning when one of the people is super young and more to the point inexperienced in adult relations and general adult life skills.
My husband is eight years older than me. It didn’t matter when we started dating eight years ago – we were grown adults with careers and a very similar outlook on life, and it doesn’t matter now. We have enough in common to be happy and in synch, and enough going on to keep things interesting. We complement each other very well and live our best lives. This year, we both started working part-time to spend more time together, as we both have busy jobs.
When I was in my early 30s, I dated a man 7 years older than me. It was completely fine, and we did split up, but for reasons totally unrelated to the age gap. Other than having slightly different pop-culture experiences as children, we never noticed the difference. I think the 5-10 age range difference is unlikely to be problematic if you are early 30s. My current spouse is 4 years older than me, we are in our 40s now, and we might as well be exactly the same age. I personally feel like a <5 year age gap is so insignificant as to not matter. FWIW my parents are >10 years apart in age, and it was totally fine until my dad got older but my mom was still pretty young and energetic! So even if there’s no “relationship” issues, late-in-life stuff can make those bigger age gaps difficult.
I dont think that age gaps are relevant after an certain age. It is an important topic when one person is young. Like a 15 year old dating a 25 year old. (Sadly still legal in my country). But not between 30 and 40.
Is the age difference 11 or 19? 11 is not bad as long as you two are compatible emotionally and sexually. I don’t know about 19 though. Feels like you could ended up being his caregiver in the future. Just my two cents.
I personally wouldn’t consider a ten-year age difference in our 30s and 40s as an “age gap relationship.” Anything above 15 years is what I consider a significant age gap between adults.
I married a 39-year-old man when I was 21, and we were married for ten years. That was an experience I would never wish on anyone. Huge red flags. A whole circus, really.
I did it 3 times. 2/3 ended horribly like trauma and doctors and therapy horribly. I married the third because I didn’t listen to my own experience and girl it ain’t easy lol
So the woman is early 30s and the age gap is less than ten years? I don’t automatically see a problem, provided the people involved want the same things in life and have compatible personalities and values and there are no general red flags in the guy that have nothing to do with age. Something like 31 and 38 or whatever is a non-issue to me in that case. If we were talking 19 and 30 or something though, hell no.
The older you get, the less age differences matter if it’s a good connection, IMO. I’m getting married for the second time on Saturday to the absolute love of my life and we’re 40 and 56. I don’t even notice the difference, we’re really good friends who fell in love and it’s a much better and healthier and more fulfilling connection than I had with my ex-husband or ex-girlfriend (who were, respectively, just over a year younger and six years older than me).
So basically, be wise about it. Unless you’re both at very different life stages that don’t even really match with your actual ages, provided it’s a healthy connection built on respect and you feel safe and comfortable (which goes for any relationship), early 30s and late 30s doesn’t seem inherently like an issue to me. If you were talking about someone in his 60s… different matter to me. And a month or so ago I saw a post on a different subreddit from a 19-year-old pining over a man in his early 70s. Girl, what. Please no. 😬
In my 40s I was in a relationship with a man 10 years younger than me. We were at the same stage in our lives: both divorced, 2 kids each, and neither of us wanted more kids. We did eventually break up, but the age difference wasn’t a factor.
It just depends where you both are in your life. But from what I’ve seen, with age gaps in general there often is some disconnect.
I’m not entirely sure what the question is but my husband and I have a 12 year age gap and started dating when I was 26. Happy to answer questions. Aside from from having different pop culture references, age really doesn’t affect us in a noticeable way. Based on my life circumstances, it makes a lot of sense to me that I ended up with someone older.
Don’t date older, date younger.
I was late 20s dating someone in their late 30s, and I didn’t know it until after we cross from friends to romantic partners. Honestly I hesitated when I found out because it made me feel like if this were to continue, I’d have even less time with him (men generally die early, and he sorta got a head start hahah). Welp turns out you can’t deny strong chemistry and now we are happily married. The kids thing is tough because we both are sorta waffling, and now I am in my mid 30s and him in his mid 40s, we really should make that decision soon.
We had different experiences growing up, so a lot of the nostalgia from the late 90s to 2010s are a miss for him. Other than that, the interests are similar, and our personalities are complementary to each other. But know that who you see and get is going to be who he is. There is very little chance you can change anything about him. This advice applies to any age, but really applies when the person has lived almost half his life already. So if he doesn’t like to work out, assume he won’t. If he doesn’t like to career chase, assume he won’t. Or if he’s a workaholic, assume he will be. You have to be okay with the man you see in front of you.