Feeling burnt out, in an unfulfilling job in finance. Friends have all gone their separate ways, either settled down with kids or moved overseas. Only 1 around and I’m not content with life.
I’ve lost my purpose, and seem like time as passed me by now that I’m close to mid 30s. I was too career focused and now it’s really hit me as im not ready to settle.
How do you find your purpose and fulfilment again?
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Feeling burnt out, in an unfulfilling job in finance. Friends have all gone their separate ways, either settled down with kids or moved overseas. Only 1 around and I’m not content with life.
I’ve lost my purpose, and seem like time as passed me by now that I’m close to mid 30s. I was too career focused and now it’s really hit me as im not ready to settle.
How do you find your purpose and fulfilment again?
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I don’t look for fulfillment in my jobs. I look for it outside of work. I’m very much in the work to live don’t live to work camp. You don’t need to settle. Just find things you enjoy doing and people you enjoy being around.
Create. Join a band, an improv troupe, try stand up, join a graffiti gang, write a play, whatever.
You’ll start learning what you want to give the world, and You’ll meet new, interesting people.
If you find answer let me know aswell:D im absolutelly done with anything and everything. All i do anymore is go to work and pay mortage.
I think you kinda need define what a fulfilling/purpose life is?
The plan will change as you grow but you kinda need a destination and then you just start/itterate. Along the way you kinda start connecting dots as you move foward with more knowledge/skills and look back and your like ahh that was pretty good. Progresses is weird a lot of times you won’t notice it and it may take years or it could only take weeks.
I feel that situation myself man. In my opinion, outlets outside of work are a must, the right outlet depends on your personality and interests. From there it’ll branch out into meeting new people with common interests, etc.
I can assure you that you won’t feel better just watching Netflix/gaming every night after work. Just my personal experience.
Totally feel where you’re at. I hit something really similar in my mid-30s career was fine on paper, but I felt empty, disconnected, and like life had just happened to me while I was grinding away.
Here are a few things that helped me start climbing out of that hole:
Don’t chase purpose notice patterns. It rarely drops from the sky. Instead, pay attention to what gives you energy (even just a little). What conversations light you up? What tasks make you lose track of time? That’s often where the trail begins.
Build structure before answers. A solid morning routine, moving your body, cutting back on distractions (especially phone + social), and getting good sleep all basic, but they shift your mental baseline so you can think clearly.
Create intentional connection. Even if friends have scattered, try joining local meetups, group hikes, or volunteering. Having real convos with people on the same path makes a massive difference. Isolation will lie to you.
Take a curiosity challenge. Pick one thing you’ve always wanted to try (learning guitar, boxing, journaling, building something with your hands) and go all in for 30 days. It won’t “solve” everything but it’ll get the gears turning again.
And honestly, you’re not too late. You’re just awake now. That’s not a failure it’s a turning point.
You got this.
Solo travel. Definitely brings out the patience and understanding perspectives in me. You’ll likely talk to other foreigners or local English speakers and have deep conversations. Not sure how to pin point it but I guided me to seek life ahead of me.
This is gonna suck, but here goes nothing.
You’ve been chasing the wrong things your entire life and now that you’re approaching middle age, you’re gonna start asking yourself “What does it all mean?” Since you have money, you might start spending it on things to fill that void, if you haven’t already – cars, women, travel, etc.
That shit is a trap. Money can’t buy you happiness and it never did. You need to dig real deep into your past to eke out how you ended up here. Robert Frost has this poem The Road Not Taken, which helped me backtrack through my life trajectory to see where I could’ve taken the other path.
I wouldn’t 100% trust what you have on your bucket list, either. Some of the things I crossed off are legit, but most of them were just chasing previous highs on a hedonic treadmill.
Imagine a conversation with your younger self – whatever age you think was pivotal. Would they be stoked with where you are today? How were your past expectations aligned with you right now?
Granted, the path you took has its perks. You have the financial stability to take time off and do some serious soul searching. I would know because I’ve been doing it for the past year. Dude, it’s worth the effort
No regrets on my GR86, though. That thing is dope, lol
Make an actual written list of the things you want in life. Seriously write it down. Include things like kids, spouse, lake lot, camping trips to the Andes, driving a tank over a car, retirement at 50, bench 225, run a marathon, eat a ghost pepper…. Whatever. But write them down.
Then prioritize them. Some of them need to be done earlier in life than others (you don’t want your first kid at 50 for example.) Then look at how you go from where you are to those goals.
Spend time working on you. During your commute listen to podcasts on how to be better or ones that teach you tangible useful knowledge. After work, get exercise and enough sleep. Other than that work on your list. Make sure to do something new on a regular basis. (E.g. local art gallery you’ve never been to? This Saturday. Never been for a walk in a park on the outskirts of your city? Go do that.)
There’s no one real path there, you just have to keep trying things and eventually something will click enough… and if it doesn’t? You’ve gorwn in the mean time.
Maybe your purpose is finding your purpose? Maybe asking about your purpose is the wrong question entirely. (Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask.) But regardless, you only have this one life to live… and living isn’t easy you have to put work into it. Best of luck OP.
Start small find the word, God will lead you.
Then find the things that bring you small pleasures.
Enjoy a good hobby just to find your self in something again.
Then, turn to what gives you joy.
I suggest a journal and put everything in it.
As years go by you can go back to them and see the changes from year to year.
Wish you many blessings.
Quit the job. Risky, but necessary.
You create it
Can’t wait to see the responses on this topic