For example if you are a retired people pleaser, or were once in a relationship with a narcissit, but now look back at those times and cringe.
For example if you are a retired people pleaser, or were once in a relationship with a narcissit, but now look back at those times and cringe.
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Without those lessons, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
You couldn’t have known better at the time, and it is not your fault. We are products of our environment and who we spend most time with. Better to wake up at 30, 40, 50.. than never. Be kind to yourself, consistently. Surround yourself with people that uplift you, push you to grow, and no, it is not selfish to do that. And remember, growth always comes with some pain, just like our bodies grow and develop physically. So same goes for our psyche as it develops.
Instead of forgiving yourself, try understanding yourself. Back then, you were doing your best with the tools and awareness you had. Hindsight makes it obvious now, but growth is rarely linear. You needed those lessons to become who you are today.
Simply by acknowledging the fact that the past is no longer a reality, now it’s only a memory and illusion. What has happened was your from the past that no longer exists. You are free everyday.
And if others think you are the same, then they probably believe they are their past self as well.
See the good in what I was trying to do and not the bad in how they treated me.
By acknowledging that it’s in the past. What’s done is done. Time to move on.
God I could use some advice lol.
I’ve done things I just shrink whenever I think about
These parts of you were there to take care of you as best they could. They served their purpose and now you make different choices. Read up on IFS, life changer
I didn’t have the tools at the time.
Now I own a big-ass toolbox!
accept that you were disgusting and cringe
once you accept it then nobody can take it away from you
the shame or disgust can eventually be quieted down or just chalked up to a learning moment and that’s okay too because that will serve as a reminder regarding what -not- to do
Just keep going. Past not exist. No need to forgive, you did what you thought is write to do, now you would do differently. Life is now and not in the past.
Got laid off and realized work doesn’t care about you.
You realize we are only human, after all. And that’s not the last mistake you’re going to make.
Have stronger boundaries and more self respect today
Oh yeah. I was a people pleaser. And women don’t find that attractive so then I was angry at women for not wanting me when I was a “nice” guy. I’m still nice but I’m confident in myself now and I don’t need women as often as one does in their teens and 20s so there is a lot less bullshit I’m willing to put up with just to get laid. And then that assholiness attracts women 🤷♂️