How do you get over someone you know you can’t have ?

r/

I don’t think i’ve ever really been in love but he’s always on my mind, even though I’m fully aware that nothing can ever happen between us.
Anyone else ever been pathetically down bad for someone that’s just… not in the cards? What worked for you?

Comments

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  2. Fippy-Darkpaw Avatar

    That’s the norm. Not the exception.

    Welcome to the club. 👍

  3. NerfAkaliFfs Avatar

    Ask him out and get rejected is the best way

  4. michael41973 Avatar

    There are different types of this. The ones you know that that is how it is, but you don’t have to deal with them sort they sort of drift in and out of your thoughts.

    The one you see on a regular basis, maybe you both feel something but neither act on it.

    The ones that led you on. They make it seem like maybe somehow or some way it will happen or work out, but it’s just them using you.

    No matter what it sucks. You just need to try to move on and find someone that has the same feeling for you that you have for them. The other people will cross you mind from time to time, months and years later. Life can be a big game of “what if”

  5. KindredFawn Avatar

    Time. And keeping yourself busy. Also why would you want someone who doesn’t want you? Where’s the logic in that. Keep reminding yourself that you deserve someone who wants you too.

  6. Galactus1701 Avatar

    I knew she was way above my league and I usually wouldn’t have dared to say a word to her about it, but gave it my best shot. I sent her a WhatsApp message and told her how I felt. She answered the message politely, yet never wrote a single word afterwards. It’s been 3 years from the “WhatsApp message heard around the world”.

  7. Usual_University_296 Avatar

    Accept the things you cant control 🙂

  8. Narrow-Dust-2451 Avatar

    Think of disgusting stuff about him

  9. Getsuga_1 Avatar

    Asking yourself ‘why would I want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me’. The ensuing ick should be enough to move on. Get your power back.

  10. Future_Usual_8698 Avatar

    Sleep with someone- anyone- else

  11. millionsofdollars_ Avatar

    I asked them out and got rejected. Now I’m here. Patiently living my life as is. Sometimes you just have to learn to accept things as they are because you don’t know what’s preventing you from wanting what you can’t have. Sure you’ll be miserable everyday at some point of the day, but you are alive and that’s something to look forward to!

  12. Svenflex42 Avatar

    Move on and life your life. Imagine living your whole life on what it’s that just sounds exhausting.

  13. Jonseroo Avatar

    Perhaps look more deeply into why you want to be with someone you can’t be with. It may simply be that they are just wonderful, but it may also be because there is a safety in not having to risk trying and being rejected, or not having to risk the vulnerability of a relationship.

    Why can nothing happen between you? I get it if he is in a relationship, or of an incompatible sexuality, but if it’s another reason are you just overthinking and stopping yourself?

    I had feelings for someone like this, and the last time I saw her it was like this Kate Bush track, I felt such a sense of finality that I came home and got straight on the internet to find someone I could be with.

  14. Banzai076 Avatar

    If I want someone but can’t have them, I just got under someone I could. Might not have been the healthiest thing buuuut couple years later and I found my person.

  15. velvety_delaney Avatar

    It’s tough, but focus on yourself…. your hobbies, friends, and growth. Over time, the feelings will fade and you’ll find peace.

  16. Troubled_Rat Avatar

    Who’s claiming that it goes away?

  17. LongjumpingRadio4078 Avatar

    Try learn something new

  18. KyorlSadei Avatar

    Why would I be hung up on somebody I can’t have? That would just be me creating a problem that did not exist.

  19. pirate_meow_kitty Avatar

    Realising you have this version of them and you in your head that isn’t real. You are for some reason holding onto this person or could have been relationship because something is lacking in your life

    I’m saying this as someone who experienced this a few times . You have to find a purpose in life that isn’t romantic and throw yourself into that. Maybe further your studies, volunteer for a hospital and build relationships with the people there.

  20. Old_Association6332 Avatar

    Time. That’s what has done it for me in the past.

  21. Chupabara Avatar

    Hi, this is called limerence. Check r/limerence if you want to be more aware of what’s going on with you.

  22. InfiniteWaffles58364 Avatar

    I just fantasize for a bit and get over it. Any relationship we would’ve had would have been better in my head anyway 🤷‍♀️

  23. Neither-Drive-8838 Avatar

    You met in the wrong life, it was just to make sure you connect in the next life.

  24. birdstarskygod Avatar

    Literally in the thick of it right now… I’ve found nothing truly works… but an amalgamation of little things can sort of lesson the heartache a tiny amount. As hard, or impossible as it seems… try not to look at socials or connect with them… it is just constant heart pain and the wound doesn’t heal

  25. ThickInevitable8450 Avatar

    Do activities. Avoid being around the person a lot. Do something that you never done before

  26. Heavy-Strain32 Avatar

    Think of all the negative things about that person and move on.

  27. HarlandKing Avatar

    Get over it. You aren’t meant for everyone and everyone isn’t meant for you. Just keep moving on

  28. NoHandyMan Avatar

    OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND!!! So, do everything and anything to create that reality-get them out of ur sight everywhere-no looking at their social media, no hearing about them from mutual friends,no running into them at local spots. You have to get them completely out of ur pathway.

  29. SlammingMomma Avatar

    You don’t. It’s a lingering in the deepest part of you that you can’t get over. You can bury it, deny it, forget about them, hate them…but one small thing and you’re back to being in love.

  30. tinadeee94 Avatar

    it is hard. i’ve been there. i think i’m still in that position. never had my closure, never got the chance to tell him my true feelings. even if i think of him as a bad person, a bad image.. he’s still there.

    what i want to say is, you can get over them but you cant get rid of them. subconsciously, they’re there – in your mind. you’ll think of them from time to time or some scenarios in your life that connects with them. They’ll be part of your memories, either good or bad.

  31. kaayyy007 Avatar

    I just got done dealing with this. Truth be told, time really does heal all wounds in one day you may just be his/her biggest regret for letting you go. My best advice is do not wait on the text from them, do not wait on the phone call from them… If you need to, block them on everything that is what I did I completely blocked him out on everything because he started to ruin me mentally to where I was missing work because of him. Chasing after someone and being available, only makes you look desperate think about all the horrible qualities of them that will make you hate them to where you don’t wanna speak to them.

    I wish you the best of luck in your healing journey, you were able to live however, many years before ever meeting this person and you were just fine. Nobody in this chat knows who this person is and we are all living just fine not knowing who they are, they are not special so stop thinking that they are special. A person that does not want to be with you is not a catch and they will never be the prize.

  32. goblin_goblin Avatar

    Focus on the bad details. The things you don’t like.

    Your mind is filling in all the blanks with good things and putting them on a pedestal when you don’t even really know them. The version of them in your mind doesn’t exist. Catch yourself thinking of them and realize that’s what you’re doing.

    And time. Lots of time.

  33. LoveInHell Avatar

    I think distancing yourself from this person and accepting you can’t be with them.

  34. Bed_Worship Avatar

    It doesn’t go away, you just get better and faster at letting it go and meeting new people.