I met a woman back in early 2022 after a gig I was playing. She was and still is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met personally. I couldn’t believe my luck that she wanted to strike up a conversation with me. We chatted for awhile and exchanged numbers. We ended up dating for almost two years until we had a fight due to a misunderstanding on New Year’s Eve 2023. It was no one’s fault, but things were said by both of us that can’t be taken back. Now, a year and half later, and I still haven’t gotten over her. I think about her every day and in spite of all of my friends advice and every bit of common sense I have, I just can’t move on with my life. I’ve tried dating, but I ultimately just end up comparing other women to her and hurting them. Here’s the catch: she recently hit me up out of the blue after 18 months of complete no contact. I feel like the tiny bit of progress I have made getting past our relationship would be ruined if I gave in and replied to her. I imagine a scenario where we get back together and things work out, but I know that in reality that it’s unlikely. I really need some advice.
How do you get over “the girl that got away”?
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I’m just going to be honest with you, you never truly get over your first love, your first legitimate head over heels falling in love with this person type feeling. Just going to be honest with you.
A lot of people are going to tell you how to get over it. But when you’re left alone with your thoughts, every once in a while, she’s going to enter your mind, I’ve been married 15 years and a while. It’s not as often as it used to be, I still think about that one person. Maybe once or twice a year, there are no feelings attached anymore, but that doesn’t mean you don’t think about the person.
You kinda just move on with Life, you date you fall in love you break up you end up, finding someone you want to spend your life with, and that’s what you do. Eventually you wake up and you’re 40 and you realize you haven’t thought about that person much at all the last few years… and that’s how those things go. But you objectively have to allow yourself to move on.
Just keep going. If you don’t think things will work out you may as well just end it. You’ll find the right one eventually
You don’t. You remember the happy memories, integrate them into your life, and it all becomes a part of who you are.
But for goodness sake, reply to her already. And keep us updated.
Move on to the next girl. Granted, it’ll probably be temporary but still 🤷
Could be she is in the same boat as you. And after failed relationships and not being able to get you out of her head, she reached out. Or, she hates your guts and wants to toy with you some lol. Sorry, had to say it. As an old man (46M), I guess my question would be…if you could fast forward your mind and try to think like you were my age (assuming you are still pretty young)…what would hurt more…having tried and failed, or never having tried at all. I can tell you that as you get older, you think back to things you’ve done and decisions you’ve made. Most are “yeah but that got me here”. But sometimes there is one or two that forever haunt you as “damn, I wish I would have…” some say regret is the worst pain. There is no pill for it, and no chance to turn back the clock. So, would it hurt more to fail and have to move on again…or live your life forever wondering what could have been? Good luck
If it wasnt anyone fault and she was so great why are you asking online strangers rather than talking to her? You knew her for 2 years surely she cant be that scary?
It’s life. She is the One by which all others compare. I have one too. Incredible. On every level. And she will always be in your head.
Once, my grandfather was in his favorite chair, enjoying a chew and some bourbon. Smiling away. “Whatcha smiling about Grandpa?”
He was thinking back 50 years and his One. You’ll get over it. But enjoy the memory.
Was she good for you and you for her besides this fight? If it was a good relationship that got blown up over a misunderstanding maybe you should open up. If you think the best course is to move on for whatever reason then stick to your guns and give it some time. It took me a few months to get over someone I knew was trash and that relationship lasted 6 months. I can’t imagine how long it would take if my girlfriend left now. As far as how? Its an every day battle within your mind; telling yourself that she isn’t coming back and you need to let it go. It gets easier slowly.
Remember, Nostalgia is a Beautiful liar
Nostalgia is a beautiful liar
it shows you highlight reels while hiding all the reasons things ended
you scroll through old photos replay conversations and convince yourself that what’s gone was better than what remains
but clinging to memories keeps you trapped between worlds
physically here but mentally living in moments that no longer exist
you’re giving your present away to ghosts who have already moved on with their lives
the hardest truth is that you’re often remembering alone
while you’re analyzing every detail of what used to be
they’ve created new stories that don’t include you
they found peace by letting go of what you still hold on to
your mind wasn’t designed to live in the past it was made for right now
for building new connections for healing for growing beyond what was
the memories worth keeping are the ones that gently inform your future
not the ones that hold it hostage
let the past stay where it belongs
today needs you more
I was in this situation after my first serious relationship and had it happen recently after 2 months of dating someone else.
The only thing I can tell you is you have to allow yourself to move on. You take it day by day, work on self improvement, do things, etc. and you’ll meet more women/people, fill your brain with other memories, and then it’ll bother you less and less.
You are way too invested.
Probably waay more then she is.
Do not do it. Cut her out.
You didn’t really mention much about her besides her beauty so it seems like you put her on a pedestal. Anyways the answer to your question is time. Only time. Closure comes from within you, not from her.
Stop fantasizing about it..
Take the glean off the shine. Also, focus on yourself because you’ll miss the next boat if you’re focused on “the one that got away.”
You don’t. You find someone else for fun.