Recently I’ve been moving on from my ex again, until all of a sudden desire, a feeling or a temptation that just wants me to get back with my ex. Back then, after we broke up we stayed in contact, and stayed as friends that is, until she confessed again. I don’t know how, it just that the feeling of getting back with her again is there. It’s just that, darn temptation to get back with her while I know that I shouldn’t.
So I chased, when she liked another guy I was jealous. I chased, trying to get her back but until we flirted again, and I felt like I was living in a pleasurable moment. I wanted this, until I realized something that this is not the layer of foundation that we once had if we got back.
But I just thought, my mindset was. “I shouldn’t be doing this, I have a choice to or not to, this desire or thought or temptation of wanting of going back to her isn’t me.” and I just thought, if I were to have a new relationship I have to stop and create some distance for me and my ex. I don’t want to get back, but I just had this thought of getting back together and flirt, cause I couldn’t see her with another guy until I accepted my mindset “This isn’t right. This is not okay. I shouldn’t do this anymore, this will keep me from having a fulfilling relationship cause we have no foundations in the relationship.”
In the end, I thought about it maturely (if that’s what I could say) or in other words, real talk. That this is not going to benefit and last forever, for if we get back again there is no foundation. This feels like just friends with benefits. This is lustful. I want love not lust. We flirted back then, we had that real talk to stop and I said enough is enough. I got to move on and I eventually was heartbroken, but I knew that if we try to do this, we won’t even last cause we will repeat the same mistakes again.
But I know that deep down, I wanted to move on. This thought, this desire, this feeling isn’t truly what I wanted, why is it so pleasurable? Why do I cling to her? Why? And recently the feelings are gone, and now when I wanted to write this, the feelings is back. I want to try someone new, but this feeling might be a temptation.
What should I do to just let go of this feeling? This is not me. Religious or not, if you are a Christian and have read Romans 7:15 this describes a conflict within the believer, where they are aware of God’s good law but struggle to consistently obey it, experiencing a disconnect between their desires and actions.
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
What should I do to let go of the feeling? I know that this isn’t me, and I want to let go of this feeling. I still think that we have a chance together, but logically aside we don’t.
PS; Me and my ex from this day still are in contact together, but I’ve learnt to give some space and distance as we’re just two normal friends.
Comments
Well the first is to understand where this feeling is coming from. Do you really want her? Or do you long to be chosen, and that redemption comes from her choosing you? Odds are it’s the latter, and you can only get power back by getting to a point where you no longer base your self worth on her.
RemindMe! -1 day
To truly forget someone, you have to see someone else. Always worked for me. But then, I move on easily. I go on a date and I instantly become obsessed with that new man lol then I forget that guy I dated before in an instant