What’s up y’all,
I (28M) have been struggling with some self confidence here as of late due to some physical imperfections that I have.
I tend to ignore them on a day to day but since I’ve been seeing this girl it’s all I think about now. Mainly because she’s is bound to see them at some point and I’m hoping they don’t lead to her changing her mind about me. I know looks and whatnot aren’t everything but they still matter.
Here are my said imperfections/insecurities:
Stretch marks –
My weight used to be pretty volatile when I was younger. I would go up and down in weight in very short periods of time. That plus working out and growing in general led to stretch marks around my hips, butt, and groin areas. I’m melanated so some of these are super highlighted, especially in the butt/groin area. My butt looks like I have built in cheetah print underwear cause of the stretch marks/pigmentation combo.
I’m trying to reduce the appearance with products that I bought but so far they ain’t doing shit.
Feet –
I broke some toes on my right foot doing some dumb shit a long time ago and just now got them fixed recently. They removed a chunk of bone off of the small toe to get it to look “normal” again. The toe is now shorter than before so it looks weird and it also has a gross looking scar on it so it is both weird and gross now.
I had to wear a boot on my foot for about 2 months post op. In an effort to not put weight on the messed up foot, I shifted my weight to my other foot. This led to my other small toe to rub against my shoes, which led to a gross looking friction/hot spot that won’t go away. So now both of my small toes look fucked.
I know you’re not supposed to put people on a pedestal, but this girl is a goddess damn near. I lm hoping that said imperfections don’t change her view of me.
What are you all’s thoughts?
Comments
I’m a woman but dude, you’re fine. Women get stretch marks all the time too. It’s only human. Plus your toe thing sound interesting and is probably a good story/fun fact about you. If this girl cares about either of those things then she isn’t the one. You’ll be fine either way
A lot of women aren’t going to notice flaws like that or care all that much if they do. Yes, there are absolutely shallow women and looks do matter, but I don’t think these things really fall under looks. Also, everyone looks at their flaws a lot harder than other people, even more so with people we like.
Especially stretch marks, a lot of women have stretch marks, even some really fit women. I have stretch marks and I’ve never been overweight or even chubby, puberty just hit me like a truck and I grew too fast for my skin.
Those are life happening, not imperfection. The whole concept of perfection in human beings is flawed. We’re all unique versions of human being.
That said, we all also have some insecurities. I think it is good to remind yourself of how amazing your body is. It can do incredible things. Start a list (mentally or literally) of everything your body can do.
One benefit of being ugly your whole life. Can’t want what you’ve never had.
I have stretch marks on my back and cellulite in my thighs. Just accept it. Confidence shines
By working so hard that I now have the body of a Greek god (as a few women I dated put it)