How do you handle conflicting perspectives while maintaining a civilized discussion?

r/

I’d like to know how you handle or would like to handle, opposing or conflicting perspectives on any given topic, while maintaining a civilized and respectful discourse.

Personally, as an 18 yo, I think this is the best tool I need in my toolkit, to maintain diplomatic relations and navigating life with a strategic methodology.

All thoughtful insights are welcome!

Comments

  1. Efficient-Log8009 Avatar

    Close to impossible. Best to avoid it. Or be prepared to single handedly take down an army that is immune to common sense.

  2. KYRawDawg Avatar

    It’s always healthy to keep in mind that everyone has a difference of opinion and whether or not you will agree with it, they’re entitled to that opinion. It’s just called diversity. It is not your responsibility to change someone’s mind or perspective. And unfortunately was society today, no one’s willing to look at things from different perspectives because today’s society has taught everyone that they are always correct. I’m from an older generation where we could debate things in a very civil manner.

  3. MangoMan610 Avatar

    On the receiving end it’s very easy, just take it in stride, acknowledge it but still disagree with it if you want. However, many many people take any sort of contrary perspective as a personal attack while taking your acknowledgement of their point as a weakness in your conviction.

  4. RomAndNoodles Avatar

    Come to the realization that neither your individual opinion or theirs matters much at all, so it’s not really necessary to bring your ego into it

  5. 3DNZ Avatar

    1st to get mad loses. That’s how I think of it

  6. Homely_Bonfire Avatar
    1. No personal attacks. As much as you think someones ideas are wrong, stupid, outright malicious/exploitive/degenerate – verbalizing how this decreases your respect for the person or trying to brand them as someone less will inevitably derail the conversation for the worse. So avoid that.
    2. In many of these discussion it is actually the difference in the price that people are willing to pay. I’ll give you an example that I have seen being very difficult to discuss on Reddit too. Minimum wages. They do increase the income of those who are covered under them, but it also means that some central authority is allowed to set prices. Furthermore it has been found that minimum wages can reduce the number of jobs available in the price controlled profession (i think in fast food this led to faster automation of the restaurants) – these are documented consequences. And people tend to disagree about whether or not these consequences are acceptable. Knowing this, I tend to try and inquire about whether or not someone is aware of the unwanted or at first glance unseen consequences of what they want. And if they say “fine with me” then I am comfortable to say “fair enough” and will be quite comfortable to disagree.
  7. HumerousMoniker Avatar

    It’s very easy to disagree with someone, but can be hard to discuss it with them. You need to come from a place of understanding that their view is formed from their experiences. Acknowledge their position and state how yours differs. Just like any disagreement show respect for their position and if things start to get heated, take a break. Also remember you can disagree without having to change their mind.

    The subreddit /r/changemyview used to have good resources for changing someone’s view.

  8. winterweiss2902 Avatar

    Get a third party to side with you

  9. wolfdershnider Avatar

    Be okay with other people being wrong—and with the possibility that you might be too.

    Constantly ask yourself why you believe and think what you do.

    With very rare exceptions, the people you talk to are not your enemies.

    Care more about the person you’re speaking to than about your ideals.

    When you come across news or articles you disagree with, read them all the way to the end.

  10. fatbunny23 Avatar

    Three steps for me, that I repeat as necessary

    This is what I believe, can you see why I believe it?

    What do you believe, can you explain why you believe it?

    Let’s compare sources of information to see where the disagreement begins

    The conclusion for these conversations is either me and the person I’m talking with decide to agree to disagree, they get angry and refuse to keep talking about the topic, or one of us realizes we were working with incorrect or outdated info and we change our perspective

    If they get too angry and refuse to keep talking, I eventually let those people drift out my life. There isn’t room for people in my life who use fear and anger to fill in the hole of logic or reason

  11. Redcarborundum Avatar
    • Understand the difference between fact and opinion. Facts can be verified and corrected, opinions can only be acknowledged.
    • Seek to understand, not to win. A true ‘win’ is having somebody acknowledge that he’s wrong and change his mind. That doesn’t happen by bludgeoning him with facts, it can only happen when he arrives at the conclusion himself. You seek to understand by asking honest questions (not gotchas), if you’re lucky your questions may lead to internal questions, to self reflections.
    • Try to find common ground. Most people can agree on the very basic stuff, like being good and being fair. Start and build from there. If you’re talking to the few who care only for himself, no meaningful discussion is possible. Just talk about weather or sports.
    • Be willing to walk away. Sometimes you run into topics like vaccination or religion. There is no chance in hell that you’re going to make opposing people agree on those. Just change the topic.
    • Be respectful. We are just talking, not running for political office or winning a public debate. Most people are decent in person and mean well, they are just ignorant or gullible.
  12. Trollin_beaches Avatar

    I like to hear them out completely without letting them know my stance otherwise they’ll get defensive and close up.

    Socrates had a method where he would continuously ask questions leading them to question themselves or lead them to the answer he already knew.
    It’s genius because it makes the person feel like they came up with it.
    People have an Ego. Even if you are 100% right in a matter most people don’t have it in them to put their ego aside and admit they were wrong.

    “It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it”