I have a certain friend who commonly says things like “don’t say that”, “that’s dumb”, or asks why I’m doing something a certain way in front of others and it’s always with a really condescending tone or accusatory tone. This isn’t just the common friendly ribbing, I actually enjoy participating in that. It’s generally so far outside of what I’m used to on a daily basis that I struggle to find a way to respond in the moment.
How do you handle friends talking down to you?
r/AskMen
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I have a certain friend who commonly says things like “don’t say that”, “that’s dumb”, or asks why I’m doing something a certain way in front of others and it’s always with a really condescending tone or accusatory tone. This isn’t just the common friendly ribbing, I actually enjoy participating in that. It’s generally so far outside of what I’m used to on a daily basis that I struggle to find a way to respond in the moment.
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Tell her not to talk to you like that and tell her how it makes you feel
Dont be friends with negative people. Cut her out or tell her to stfu.
I would ask what’s his problem.
Well, what are you saying?
Either bring this up just the two of you (give examples and how it makes you feel and ask them to stop or at least be mindful) or confront a bully straight up (bro don’t talk to me like that, mind your own business, worry about yourself, etc). I’ve had a “friend” like this before that I just distanced myself from. If you think they are being a bully, deal with it head on. Good luck!
I think there’s an idea we shouldn’t react or call it out for fear of making things awkward. Keep the peace.
But if someone is insulting you, I think you should speak up.
I wouldn’t appreciate a friend talking to me like that. It goes beyond a joke.
I’ve had friends like this and these are the kinds of people that won’t ever realize how they treat you until you start treating them the same. You need to get on their wave and start doing or saying things they’d say to you should the opportunity arise
Ahhhem:
E.g. BROOOOOO WHAT ARE YOU DOINNGGG??? NO DUMMY LIKE THIS
E.g. 2. If discussing something they care about modestly, say some shit like “pffft are u fr fam? That’s so goofy, just let it go, it’s not that serious”
Etc
Essentially give them the same level of downplaying that they give to you and you’ll see things turn around quick, to the point it may even bring about a conversation for you guys to air it all out and go about your friendship properly moving forward.
After all, longtime friendships are essentially useless if you guys can’t agree to disagree and go over issues like this, lest yall actually hate each other
Friend or wife? Lol
I humiliate them. If they want to fuck around with words / ideas I will make sure to make them look stupid to the group.
Cut those people off and never see them again. Period.
One thing people don’t realize is that you are the people you surround yourself with. If it’s shitty people you hang with you become more of a shitty person. If it’s respectable people then you become more respectable.
Tldr; If you hang with crackheads you become a crackhead. Get new friends.
Loudly – “can you please repeat that?”
Loudly – “Why do you think it’s necessary to say that to me?”
Loudly – “did I ask for your input?”
That’s not a friend. That’s a sad person trying to bring you down. Don’t let them.
They are the equivalent of the adult kindergarten bully.
They are so uncomfortable in their own skin that they need you to be too.
Honestly I would just say hey, don’t ever talk to me like that again. Sometimes people don’t know their behavior is unacceptable until you tell them so don’t be afraid of confrontation.
If they are your friend it won’t be a problem, if they aren’t then you’ve solved another problem.
I just call it out. Something like, “Have i done something to offend you?” If I’m feeling a bit more irritated, i might say, “why are you being a dick?”
Either way, I go straight at it. Cards on the table.
I stop being friends with them.
Usually I just give a little smile, almost always involuntary, and it signals to the other person that I’m not taking their criticism/input seriously. I’ve had good luck with it.
I used to have a friend who majorly talked down to me. Constantly thinking he was right about everything and really talking like an arsehole. Turns out he is a pedophile and an absolute scumbag, disguising himself with a whole load of billshit. He was mad for trans rights and allsorts of shit too. He would argue for hours how women shouldn’t have safe spaces. Turns out he was going to these spaces and taking inappropriate photos of underage girls. Then he got nicked, and his rich parents paid for some crazy lawyer that got the whole thing quietened down. If someone has an unpleasant personality, chances are that they are unpleasant. To say the least.
Well I am the dumb one of my friends. Kinda comes with the territory
Silence is your best response. Just stare at them for 5-8 seconds and continue on with what you were doing. Let them stew in their stupid comment.
You set a boundary.
Hey Jon, please stop saying “that’s stupid” in response to me. I don’t like being spoken to like that, and I don’t speak to you like that. Even if that’s not your intention, it feels dismissive, rude, and belittling. Especially in public.
If he’s your friend hell say “my bad, didn’t mean to offend you.”. If he argues with you and tells you you’re just being soft. Then you kindly inform him “okay cool, then we’re done here. You don’t have to speak to me at all. Have a good one, buddy.”
My first thoughts would be whether I am actually saying stupid or messed up things and that one friend is the only one who is calling me out on it.
If that’s not the case then I’ve taken a few approaches in the past. Sometimes just ignored it, which has actually resulted in other people in the friend group having a pop at them. These days I’d be more likely to laugh it off and take it as a joke, to show them that I’m not taking it seriously.
If it’s really bad or really getting to me, we’ll have a private chat about it. How/if the friendship proceeds will depend on how that conversation goes. Some people are just arseholes but some people genuinely don’t know they’re doing it until it’s pointed out.
Us old people take it in stride, just make sure you give as good as you get. 💀