I had a second date – first had gone wonderfully, second was really brutal. But the issue at the center of the multiple arguments we had was that she expected me to be “more of a man.”
She set boundaries, but wanted me to push them. Even if she explicitly said to take things slow, I should’ve taken them faster. Even if she said she didn’t want to have sex so soon, I should’ve tried. And more.
So I’m wondering if anybody has faced similar expectations to be “The Man” (basically the cliche shitty asshole in movies) in a relationship/dynamic, and how you approach that?
Comments
You find a mature woman who doesn’t play those kinds of shitty games and then you get to have a happy relationship with someone on equal terms.
Unless you like never knowing where you stand because of someone else’s projection of how you should behave as a man I guess.
Life’s a little too short for that bullshit though.
Idfk what I’m reading
I don’t approach it. You either like me for me or you don’t. It’s pretty simple
Leave them and find someone mature lol thats kid shit
Yes. But as the man I do things on my speed, without overly pushing her.
Lmfao. I would break that off immediately.
Bro, you are in for a world of hurt.
She wanted you to push the boundaries she set. I know exactly what that personality is and you must put on your running shoes, fill up your tank, buy a passport and run, drive, and fly as far away from that woman as you possibly can. She will ruin you.
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“I hope you can find someone that doesn’t respect your boundaries, but that’s not me. Goodbye”
Get yourself out of there. Setting boundaries and expecting you to ignore/push them? That is trouble.
She is waving a red flag like she is a member of the communist party. Do not ignore ppl telling on themselves.
Dear God, you dated an idiot. Be glad it’s over.
Never date a woman who is incapable of saying what she wants, the “why aren’t you a mind reader” type are incredibly draining.
Really, it’s not you, it’s her.
Yeah that’s toxic bullshit behaviour, really immature. Do not buy into that shit, just leave
😂😂😂 just walk away from crazy
>She set boundaries, but wanted me to push them.
Congratulations good sir, you have dodged a bullet. I was dating someone who wanted similar, specifically, she wanted me to force myself on her and complained to our mutual friend that I didn’t.
Always handle these situations by walking away from them. There is nothing good to come from that kind of relationship. She’s either putting her CNC fantasies on you (ironically, without consent) or wants to see you in jail.
Whatever you do, don’t take this as a lesson to start forcing yourself onto women. I’m sure you won’t, but worth saying all the same.
Leave her in the dust, she’s an agent of poor mental health and maybe even your incarceration
Oof. That has nothing to do with “being the man” and is more about a toxic woman.
I’d run. That kind of shit only gets worse.
Multiple arguments at the second date stage? Time to bail.
Haven’t been in exact situation as yours but in any case I would still be me. I am a man and don’t need to explain it to anyone I would rather be quiet in this situation unless the other person is disrespectful about it, I would tell them to make up their mind and stop wasting my time then.
Sounds like entrapment to me. No means no remember?
Dude, stay away from women who like to play these consent games. Those are ALWAYS crazy chicks. They are always exact the women who will ask you to push against her boundaries (aka be a man) and then decide after the fact that your just raped her. Most of them will really believe it to.
Don’t walk, run! Get away from her as fast as you can.
Expecting you to be more of a man is just exploitation at a point. Expecting something not previously discussed , especially because your a man is toxic. Dump her
Let me double post to ring this in more. Replace any mention of being more of a man, with bringing more chaos. Women like this are so used to chaos they don’t feel like normal healthy relationships are good
That woman is single for a reason.
Second date and you are arguing, she’s telling you to be a “Real man™”, and she’s setting boundaries? Run, mate, run.
Answering to your question, no, I don’t date that kind of people.
The way I’d handle this is to politely tell her to fuck off.
Girls that play shitty games like these aren’t worth your time. If they’re asking for the type of guy who doesn’t understand the word “no” (too dominant, doesn’t respect boundaries, ‘SiGmA mAlE’), let her find one.
You be the man and sideline her in favour of someone genuine.
Brother this isn’t normal. This isn’t an experience to dwell on she sounds messed up. Just get out
I just do what I want and set that as the expectation. If they don’t like that then it won’t work. Likewise she can do the same to me.
Some women like being conquered in a way. I think it makes them feel so desired that you can’t help yourself. And then it also means that can mean you really want to be with them. But yeah, I’d be careful about that, I wouldn’t recommend sex before marriage anyway, but you can still show desire.
Run away. Mature women who know themselves don’t pull this “guess what I want” nonsense. If it’s frustrating now it will just get worse.
Mannnn don’t play dumb games. That’s how you win dumb prizes. If someone can’t clearly communicate what they want, and you aren’t a mind reader, then you don’t NEED to be with them. You may want to be with them tho 🤷🏾♂️
I stop seeing that woman.
That sounds like some damaged girl. Just don’t put up with it and have boundaries.
“I don’t appreciate the charicature of a man you’re looking for. We’re done”
These girls hate when you deprive them of the opportunity to hurt you