how do you heal from an almost?

r/

Why does an “almost something” hurt so much? I was in a two-year relationship and didn’t feel as messed up when it ended as I do now. And then I feel pathetic, ridiculous, dumb, weak. I met this guy two months ago, it was so intense, so fast, we were seeing each other almost every day. But it all “ended” because he admitted he’s never gotten over his ex of four years (they broke up last August). Our last convo was yesterday. I blocked him everywhere, and I swear there’s no going back, I know I deserve more than crumbs. But I’m hurting so much, even physically. I feel weak, my heart’s racing, I’m anxious and shaky. Seriously, how do you get over an almost-relationship? I think he might’ve even love bombed me.

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    Backup of the post’s body: Why does an “almost something” hurt so much? I was in a two-year relationship and didn’t feel as messed up when it ended as I do now. And then I feel pathetic, ridiculous, dumb, weak. I met this guy two months ago, it was so intense, so fast, we were seeing each other almost every day. But it all “ended” because he admitted he’s never gotten over his ex of four years (they broke up last August). Our last convo was yesterday. I blocked him everywhere, and I swear there’s no going back, I know I deserve more than crumbs. But I’m hurting so much, even physically. I feel weak, my heart’s racing, I’m anxious and shaky. Seriously, how do you get over an almost-relationship? I think he might’ve even love bombed me.

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  3. Proper_Eye_5777 Avatar

    Have you ever heard of limerence?

  4. TheGherkin69 Avatar

    Sounds weirdly familiar.

    Best of luck with it – maybe stay friends? He’ll get over her. Maybe you’ll help him do that.

  5. stugots_05 Avatar

    Well if I were you I’d feel more thankful to him that he was man enough to accept that he wasn’t ready for anything more serious yet and walked away. Yeah it sucks, but he did the right thing. Who knows, maybe he’ll come around when he’s ready

  6. ReadABookStupid Avatar

    It’s because by nature we’re a curious species. The unknown of what could have been is absolutely haunting. You thought of it as something, he probably thought it was something for a moment, & now it’s nothing before it became anything tangible. Chances are, it wasn’t love bombing as much as he was saying/doing all the right things because he liked you & wanted to move forward with you, but discovered he wasn’t quite in the right headspace yet.

  7. _MidnightMuse Avatar

    block him forever. love-bombers always circle back when they’re bored—don’t give them the chance. you’re not a rebound—you’re a revelation.
    it’ll pass. not today, maybe not next week, but it will. and when it does, you’ll realize the “almost” was just a detour to someone who chooses you—fully.

  8. Jumping-shadow Avatar

    Hurts because you are now mourning a potential great relationship.The potential being 100% imagined, nothing to do with the real guy.
    The sooner it sinks in that you were in love with an illusion, the faster you will get over it.