They never judge you for a single damn thing you say, and they’re always genuinely curious about your interests, even if they usually wouldn’t like said interests.
I’m 36 years old and sadly I can say I have no idea how to know that someone genuinely loves you.
Everyone think about their interests and are selfish.
I never experienced love I guess. I thought I did. I mistaken it
Seriously though – you don’t. You find someone and develop trust that they genuinely love you. You cannot ever know what’s in their head. It doesn’t always work out.
by how the act around you, friends and family, in addition to their actions towards you.
do they pay attention to hobbies, interests or whatever have you.
•Prayed for my safety as a number one priority.
•Takes all of my fears and puts them to rest.
•Always has my back.
•Trusts me to the fullest.
•Does their best to understand every layer of my existence so they can love me correctly. My love languages are physical touch and quality time in case you’re reading.
•Encourages me to be myself even when I’m shy.
•Understands that love isn’t really an emotion. It’s an act of service. It’s a way of living. It’s who you are, not what you can do; but how you do it.
•They first unconditionally love themselves.
The tell you their entire schedule to set time to meet with you, no games, if you take time to reply back they won’t do the same… also they introduce you to the family members… you’ll see it in their eyes
They could always fake it. Unless they do something which isn’t loving.
So, if they’re always behaving toward you in a loving way, if you’re stil anxious – that’s anxiety. You have to learn how to tamp anxiety down. That’s up to you, it’s an advanced adult skill.
But, if they stop acting toward you in a loving way, hey – that’s it right there.
Another person’s opinion is none of your business, act out of love a watch behaviors, and know how you feel. You shouldn’t love someone because they love you, you should love someone because you love them, and at the end of the day, you take care of each other’s needs and wants.
I knew my grandfather loved me unconditionally because he made it clear that he didn’t think there was a thing wrong with me. Sure, he encouraged me to self-reflect and try to be the best I could be, but he also made sure I knew that he loved me exactly as I am. He was an awesome grandpa.
If they say I love you ask them what they mean. What dose love mean to them. When someone feels love, they have feelings or thoughts that match their definition of love, what they think it is. And most people have different definitions. So ask
I was married to my highschool sweetheart for 18 years. We’ve been divorced for 6 years.
Currently my mother and brother both have terminal illnesses, and this man, despite our differences and our divorce, is showing up for me every single day.
He has driven me interstate multiple times, shares his home when I am lonely and is working every single moment to be steady, reliable and safe for me to go through every stage of my grief. He has spent thousands of hours and thousands of dollars so I don’t have to be alone with it all.
When looking for love, and weighing up your value through someone else’s eyes, look for actions. Actions mean more than words every single time.
And make sure you are matching up with someone who would breakup with you well. You WILL have difficult times and differences. Romantic love is not guaranteed to last for ever, so look for someone who is going to have ethics, open heartedness and clarity of communication. That way if the romantic relationship doesn’t last, a different kind of love will still be there.
For me. It’s that she treats me like a friend even after our divorce. We had a kid together, but she didn’t have to stay friends with me. My Ex-fiancee did her best to make us bitter and resent each other. But now im single and on my own, and we’ve become friends again.
We care for each other like family despite not being together anymore. We wish each other the best, and she’s got a great new boyfriend. And her life is getting better than when we were together.
There is no romantic interest. Just familial love. And that’s pretty genuine since we don’t want / need anything from each other. We could go our separate ways. We could be the type of coparents that simply do hand offs. Only doing the bare basics needed to ensure our child is happy and healthy. But we don’t do the bar minimum. And that says something about how we still “love” each other. Just in a different way than when we said “I do” and eventually said “I don’t”.
I know this post is probably focused more on romantic love. But I’ve experienced many forms of love. And I’ve lost many forms as well.
You really don’t have the ability to understand another person’s motivations and true feelings. Instead, you might choose to explore and understand your own.
When they feel safe talking to you about anything and everything and vice versa. When you can go to them and know they won’t judge you. They change when you tell them what bothers you and they grow with you.
You don’t… that someone might fuck some random people, then pack their belongings while you’re away at work and the next time you see them is with their divorce attorney.
You can never know what’s truly in another’s heart, all you can do is truth in them, it’s not easy to leave your self vulnerable to be hurt like that but it’s all we have.
They prioritize what you NEED over what they want, and they accept the same from you, but never pressure you to prioritize what they want over what you need.
They respect your boundaries. They take responsibility for their own feelings about your boundaries without making you feel guilty about them.
Where issues arise they come back to them after the fact to work on them when you’re both calm- involving a counsellor or other safe third party if needed.
They only ever offer constructive feedback in an emotionally safe way, and are at least equally welcoming of the same for them. They don’t bitch about you behind your back- especially not to mutual loved ones.
Gottmein has done a lot of research on safe, loving relationships.
You are the priority, no cheating, no side chicks or “friends”. He makes plans for your future. He introduces you to his close friends and family and shows you off to everyone. He makes sure people know you are a couple. He will be careful not to offend you and apologies quickly if he does. Love making is good because it is love.
You never do, that’s the most interesting thing about it.
You could compare your definition of “genuine”, and “love”, with another persons definitions of the same words. However, not everyone is locked in with a healthy moral compass, or even their own moral compass to say the least. Also, people are ever changing, from one day to the next and moment by moment.
-Heraclitus: ‘No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.’
Your values and definitions of certain words may align with someone else’s; but one person may be stronger than the other in holding true to their character and values. In part, and certainly among others…it comes down to an active and continued effort in wanting to learn, know and understand each-other, constructively working together toward the betterment, and intentionally growing together toward a common interest/goal/purpose.
You can be love, and be loved by another; but it’s only as good as the extent that the peoples views, thoughts, feelings, effort, definitions, and capacity align. There are a lot of variables.
Love completely and fully. It’ll suck once in a while over the years, but it’ll be alright. It truly is more difficult, unstable and uncertain finding it someone else, before finding it in yourself. Always take information with you and you’ll continue to develop into your true self. Finding the perfect kind of love will come at the right time, but typically after the right amount of lessons. You’ll miss the lessons if you don’t pay attention. People come into our lives at a certain time, for a certain amount of time, and for a certain reason.
No matter how much you love someone, it doesn’t always mean they’ll love you back or the same way, or to the same extent. Lastly, it’s often more fun giving your heart away, than it is to sit idly by just to guard it.
The bottom line is, you’ll never truly know; You have to trust, but only trust when their actions parallel their words.
They wait outside my bedroom window and play music off a big old boombox while doing a quirky dance. Then they climb in my bedroom window acting like they snorted all of Bolivia.
this story is about platonic love not romantic but I feel like you just kind of feel it. It feels different, It’s very hard for me to connect with others and i’m not sure why, i’ve been this way for as long as I can remember but when I met my now best friend I genuinely felt that connection. We have a VERY strong friendship, we always listen to each other and give the best support and advice we can for each other but we also like to laugh and talk about our favorite musicians and other things, I don’t find a lot of people funny but my best friend just gets me. When people give me reassurance normally it just feels like they are just saying it but with my best friend it’s completely different, my best friend means the world to me, when you know you know.
If they are understanding and remember small things abt me suppose if i need to listen to songs they’d tell me the song and suppose they know my order for mcd or something
They respect: you, the relationship and the boundaries you have (with you and the relationship)
Also, evolves with you and with all the changes that happens to you both (for age and/or circumstances)
And they’re not afraid to seek help to feel/be better. When they love you, they want to feel better to keep loving you and themselves
My boyfriend is a man of few words when it comes to this sort of thing. He never gives much away about his emotions to anyone. However, I know he loves me because he has allowed himself to be vulnerable just by virtue of us being in a relationship- I am the only woman he’s ever been intimate with and we’re both in our 30s. He has said he would probably have remained single if we hadn’t got together.
It’s also the little things- he places me first in so many things, I feature in his decision making. He is so clear on us being a part of each others futures, and I trust him implicitly on this.
Parental love: the difference between my mum and dads love…
Mum: drives off as soon as I’ve stepped out of the car.
Dad: does not drive off until he has watched me go inside, locks door and see’s me turn on a light.
Also anytime he sees something that makes him think of me or thinks i’ll like it he’ll take a photo to show me or buy it for me to try.
Comments
They never actually go through with getting that restraining order.
They never judge you for a single damn thing you say, and they’re always genuinely curious about your interests, even if they usually wouldn’t like said interests.
I’m 36 years old and sadly I can say I have no idea how to know that someone genuinely loves you.
Everyone think about their interests and are selfish.
I never experienced love I guess. I thought I did. I mistaken it
When they say so as they speak at your funeral.
Seriously though – you don’t. You find someone and develop trust that they genuinely love you. You cannot ever know what’s in their head. It doesn’t always work out.
Part of love is being vulnerable and trusting. There’s no test.
If they make you a priority and respect your boundaries.
they stay through but call you out on your bs
In my experience, the people closest to us are the most rude and enjoy invading our personal space.
I’ve realized that the people who genuinely love me are actually interested in what I have to say. They listen when I talk.
Also, eye contact is important. When I look into their eyes, I feel calm and they feel calm too.
They drive you to the airport
They show up on your bad days, not just your good ones. Love isn’t in words — it’s in consistency.
No one here on Reddit can tell you that
by how the act around you, friends and family, in addition to their actions towards you.
do they pay attention to hobbies, interests or whatever have you.
If they still come around and care even after youve done wrong
Here are some examples of how I know I’m loved:
•Prayed for my safety as a number one priority.
•Takes all of my fears and puts them to rest.
•Always has my back.
•Trusts me to the fullest.
•Does their best to understand every layer of my existence so they can love me correctly. My love languages are physical touch and quality time in case you’re reading.
•Encourages me to be myself even when I’m shy.
•Understands that love isn’t really an emotion. It’s an act of service. It’s a way of living. It’s who you are, not what you can do; but how you do it.
•They first unconditionally love themselves.
The tell you their entire schedule to set time to meet with you, no games, if you take time to reply back they won’t do the same… also they introduce you to the family members… you’ll see it in their eyes
When they make time for me
They could always fake it. Unless they do something which isn’t loving.
So, if they’re always behaving toward you in a loving way, if you’re stil anxious – that’s anxiety. You have to learn how to tamp anxiety down. That’s up to you, it’s an advanced adult skill.
But, if they stop acting toward you in a loving way, hey – that’s it right there.
The eyes never lie…
idk, still wondering if my ex genuinely love me or not
When he’s does things without being asked and always check in on me, my feelings, emotion, and how I’m doing.
Your perception of reality includes the knowledge that someone genuinely loves you. It is impossible to know with certainty what someone else feels.
we don’t have arguments regard, money, 3rd party.
Simple…if you can be yourself around her
They make their decisions based on your best interest.
Their touch
They advocate for YOU—even if it goes against their wishes/interests/desires.
They remember things you say, and genuinely care about your interests and safety.
They tell me and show me
Love is when he gives you $288,000 and then talks shit about you on Twitter.
Their eyes will tell you
The little forhead kiss they give me when I’m asleep before they leave for work.
Through their actions
Actions more than words
They see the parts of you that even you struggle to accept and still stay. That’s real love
People express love in different ways.
At some point, you are going to have to take that leap of faith and trust that they love you.
Another person’s opinion is none of your business, act out of love a watch behaviors, and know how you feel. You shouldn’t love someone because they love you, you should love someone because you love them, and at the end of the day, you take care of each other’s needs and wants.
Acceptance and putting you before themselves. Its rare as fuck
They share their food with you
I knew my grandfather loved me unconditionally because he made it clear that he didn’t think there was a thing wrong with me. Sure, he encouraged me to self-reflect and try to be the best I could be, but he also made sure I knew that he loved me exactly as I am. He was an awesome grandpa.
If they say I love you ask them what they mean. What dose love mean to them. When someone feels love, they have feelings or thoughts that match their definition of love, what they think it is. And most people have different definitions. So ask
No idea
When they stand up for you, even if it costs them their relationship with that person (personal experience)
I was married to my highschool sweetheart for 18 years. We’ve been divorced for 6 years.
Currently my mother and brother both have terminal illnesses, and this man, despite our differences and our divorce, is showing up for me every single day.
He has driven me interstate multiple times, shares his home when I am lonely and is working every single moment to be steady, reliable and safe for me to go through every stage of my grief. He has spent thousands of hours and thousands of dollars so I don’t have to be alone with it all.
When looking for love, and weighing up your value through someone else’s eyes, look for actions. Actions mean more than words every single time.
And make sure you are matching up with someone who would breakup with you well. You WILL have difficult times and differences. Romantic love is not guaranteed to last for ever, so look for someone who is going to have ethics, open heartedness and clarity of communication. That way if the romantic relationship doesn’t last, a different kind of love will still be there.
Love is an action most treat it simply as a feeling. They will consistently show you who/what they love through their actions. Hopefully it’s you.
They do things for you without expecting anything in return
For me. It’s that she treats me like a friend even after our divorce. We had a kid together, but she didn’t have to stay friends with me. My Ex-fiancee did her best to make us bitter and resent each other. But now im single and on my own, and we’ve become friends again.
We care for each other like family despite not being together anymore. We wish each other the best, and she’s got a great new boyfriend. And her life is getting better than when we were together.
There is no romantic interest. Just familial love. And that’s pretty genuine since we don’t want / need anything from each other. We could go our separate ways. We could be the type of coparents that simply do hand offs. Only doing the bare basics needed to ensure our child is happy and healthy. But we don’t do the bar minimum. And that says something about how we still “love” each other. Just in a different way than when we said “I do” and eventually said “I don’t”.
I know this post is probably focused more on romantic love. But I’ve experienced many forms of love. And I’ve lost many forms as well.
This just feels most genuine to me.
When she swallows.
actions speak louder than words – and time, really.
When he’s prioritizing me over everything.
Because I know myself better than anyone else
Actions and words align, their presence makes you feel calm, safe and free to be yourself.
You really don’t have the ability to understand another person’s motivations and true feelings. Instead, you might choose to explore and understand your own.
they’ll never leave
You don’t. Time will tell.
When they feel safe talking to you about anything and everything and vice versa. When you can go to them and know they won’t judge you. They change when you tell them what bothers you and they grow with you.
If they don’t lie to you, about you, or about your relationship.
They pay off the loan on your Nissan Altima.
they defend you in public, and correct you in private
I just know my mom sends me care packages and texts me almost every day. A girl my age out in the world? I wouldn’t know.
They were with you at your lowest and highest.
You don’t… that someone might fuck some random people, then pack their belongings while you’re away at work and the next time you see them is with their divorce attorney.
They provide relief when all hell breaks loose.
you won’t have to ask Reddit
What’s the point. They love you today and hate you a few days later. It’s very tiring.
When they actually loves you 👍
I feel like you can only tell with time. But someone that respects your boundaries and doesn’t make you feel guilty for being yourself.
I don’t know, I’ve never experienced that
When their only response to everything is just ‘Yes Baby’
You can never know what’s truly in another’s heart, all you can do is truth in them, it’s not easy to leave your self vulnerable to be hurt like that but it’s all we have.
They want to spend as much time as they can with you and they are kind and attentive when they are with you.
They prioritize what you NEED over what they want, and they accept the same from you, but never pressure you to prioritize what they want over what you need.
They respect your boundaries. They take responsibility for their own feelings about your boundaries without making you feel guilty about them.
Where issues arise they come back to them after the fact to work on them when you’re both calm- involving a counsellor or other safe third party if needed.
They only ever offer constructive feedback in an emotionally safe way, and are at least equally welcoming of the same for them. They don’t bitch about you behind your back- especially not to mutual loved ones.
Gottmein has done a lot of research on safe, loving relationships.
When that person doesn’t care about the negative things others say about you and still chooses you.
They let you be who you are without controlling you or tell you what is right for them
They lean over and unlock the car door before you get in
Fidelity
I ..hmmmm
Idk
No one has ever truly loved me before
The measure of love is how much it gives.
U can see it in their eyes 👀 they way they look at you , evrything tells you that person is into you
They put their phone down when they’re around you
No more talk , more on actions
You will know.
You are the priority, no cheating, no side chicks or “friends”. He makes plans for your future. He introduces you to his close friends and family and shows you off to everyone. He makes sure people know you are a couple. He will be careful not to offend you and apologies quickly if he does. Love making is good because it is love.
They feel safe and vulnerable around you
When they don’t need anything from you but repeatedly show up for you
They pay attention to you, are honest with you and do things that they may not like doing just to be with you.
When they drive hours just to see you
By their gestures bcoz action speaks more than words
They don’t quit
they’re willing to work through things with you. commitment is everything
They realize they don’t own you and want the best for you, even if that isn’t always the best for them
Ah, the million dollar question
You never do, that’s the most interesting thing about it.
You could compare your definition of “genuine”, and “love”, with another persons definitions of the same words. However, not everyone is locked in with a healthy moral compass, or even their own moral compass to say the least. Also, people are ever changing, from one day to the next and moment by moment.
-Heraclitus: ‘No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.’
Your values and definitions of certain words may align with someone else’s; but one person may be stronger than the other in holding true to their character and values. In part, and certainly among others…it comes down to an active and continued effort in wanting to learn, know and understand each-other, constructively working together toward the betterment, and intentionally growing together toward a common interest/goal/purpose.
You can be love, and be loved by another; but it’s only as good as the extent that the peoples views, thoughts, feelings, effort, definitions, and capacity align. There are a lot of variables.
Love completely and fully. It’ll suck once in a while over the years, but it’ll be alright. It truly is more difficult, unstable and uncertain finding it someone else, before finding it in yourself. Always take information with you and you’ll continue to develop into your true self. Finding the perfect kind of love will come at the right time, but typically after the right amount of lessons. You’ll miss the lessons if you don’t pay attention. People come into our lives at a certain time, for a certain amount of time, and for a certain reason.
No matter how much you love someone, it doesn’t always mean they’ll love you back or the same way, or to the same extent. Lastly, it’s often more fun giving your heart away, than it is to sit idly by just to guard it.
The bottom line is, you’ll never truly know; You have to trust, but only trust when their actions parallel their words.
Gave 1000 reasons to leave but chose to stay
They wait outside my bedroom window and play music off a big old boombox while doing a quirky dance. Then they climb in my bedroom window acting like they snorted all of Bolivia.
this story is about platonic love not romantic but I feel like you just kind of feel it. It feels different, It’s very hard for me to connect with others and i’m not sure why, i’ve been this way for as long as I can remember but when I met my now best friend I genuinely felt that connection. We have a VERY strong friendship, we always listen to each other and give the best support and advice we can for each other but we also like to laugh and talk about our favorite musicians and other things, I don’t find a lot of people funny but my best friend just gets me. When people give me reassurance normally it just feels like they are just saying it but with my best friend it’s completely different, my best friend means the world to me, when you know you know.
When I’m being their priority! And always keep in touch about what is he doing
If they are understanding and remember small things abt me suppose if i need to listen to songs they’d tell me the song and suppose they know my order for mcd or something
You don’t. It’s a leap of faith.
They respect: you, the relationship and the boundaries you have (with you and the relationship)
Also, evolves with you and with all the changes that happens to you both (for age and/or circumstances)
And they’re not afraid to seek help to feel/be better. When they love you, they want to feel better to keep loving you and themselves
When you go through so many fights but still choose to go home to you
They put your needs before theirs
My boyfriend is a man of few words when it comes to this sort of thing. He never gives much away about his emotions to anyone. However, I know he loves me because he has allowed himself to be vulnerable just by virtue of us being in a relationship- I am the only woman he’s ever been intimate with and we’re both in our 30s. He has said he would probably have remained single if we hadn’t got together.
It’s also the little things- he places me first in so many things, I feature in his decision making. He is so clear on us being a part of each others futures, and I trust him implicitly on this.
When she walks in the bathroom and puts on her makeup while you are taking a shit on the toilet….
Parental love: the difference between my mum and dads love…
Mum: drives off as soon as I’ve stepped out of the car.
Dad: does not drive off until he has watched me go inside, locks door and see’s me turn on a light.
Also anytime he sees something that makes him think of me or thinks i’ll like it he’ll take a photo to show me or buy it for me to try.