I (26F) recently had a conversation with my partner (27M) about relationship satisfaction, and one thing he mentioned is that he’s really happy when we’re together and sees a lot of value in our relationship and does want to be together, but he doesn’t feel fulfilled or as happy as he’d expected when he thinks about relationships. I asked what fulfillment looked like to him and he wasn’t totally sure – he only knew that given the effort he felt he was putting into the relationship, it wasn’t feeling as fulfilling in return as he’d expected.
As someone who has maybe lower expectations of what a relationship should bring, and does kind of equate happiness with fulfillment since my goal in life is to be happy/content – I’m curious from a male perspective (particularly those who struggle/have struggled feeling generally happy/fulfilled in life and also in relationships), is there a difference between being happy and being fulfilled, and how did you differentiate between the two? Did this affect how you saw your romantic relationship as well?
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I (26F) recently had a conversation with my partner (27M) about relationship satisfaction, and one thing he mentioned is that he’s really happy when we’re together and sees a lot of value in our relationship and does want to be together, but he doesn’t feel fulfilled or as happy as he’d expected when he thinks about relationships. I asked what fulfillment looked like to him and he wasn’t totally sure – he only knew that given the effort he felt he was putting into the relationship, it wasn’t feeling as fulfilling in return as he’d expected.
As someone who has maybe lower expectations of what a relationship should bring, and does kind of equate happiness with fulfillment since my goal in life is to be happy/content – I’m curious from a male perspective (particularly those who struggle/have struggled feeling generally happy/fulfilled in life and also in relationships), is there a difference between being happy and being fulfilled, and how did you differentiate between the two? Did this affect how you saw your romantic relationship as well?
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There’s no difference.
A long time ago, I abolished the words happy/happiness from my vocabulary and substituted them with satisfied/satisfaction: in life, work, and relationships.
Happiness is a short term feeling, whereas fulfillment is long term.
For instance someone who wants kids could be happy in a relationship with someone who doesn’t, but they will never feel fulfilled in that relationship because they will never meet the goals they set out.
Both of you should write out how you see your long term relationship playing out and what goals you expect to reach. Look at each others lists, see what you might be able to compromise on and what might be a dealbreaker.
Happiness is when we vibe atleast 50% of the time. Fulfillment is when she lets my short ass hop on her back and ride her like a yoshi.
This is dependent on his expectations. But since he isn’t sure he may not be able to clearly communicate what is missing.