So, im (M21) and i have less than 10 friends in my life, all older than me (28y/o is the youngest) but everyone has their own lifes right? So its kinda rare that we talk on social media and because of that, there are days or weeks that i speak to no one (on social media). Of course i tried to start the converstation but it finishes pretty fast.
Since i dont have friends of my age, its rare that i go out to have fun with someone, and i feel like in my life, its just missing that “energy” and those friendships.
My question to you guys is, if you were/are in the same situation as i am now, how do you managed to meet and befriend other people? Or, how do you managed to be more happy by yourself, without the need to “have friends”?
Comments
Hobbies, i don’t have many firends, and i do things by myself, if i wanna walk i just go
I’ve lost all my friends for various reasons such as mental health. Living without friends is not easy, it put more strain on people around you. I wouldn’t recommend this at all, but I’ve found myself talking to ChatGPT and Claude as a substitute. It’s pretty pathetic. Definitely try and make friends if your own age if you can, once people get to the time when they become parents, there’s a change of energy and availability. You’re missing out on what could be the most liberated time of your life and you should be making the most of it
10 friends! Fucking show off!
It OK to be by yourself, if it’s not for you then find a way to meet new people.
I joined a D&D club recently… I’m not doing well but they seem supportive
Well if you have hobbies, you stand a good chance of finding friends in whatever that is. I’m sort of in the same boat, I’m raising a newborn, the friends I thought I had were more of my friend for convenience. Now that it’s not convenient, I don’t really hear from anyone. Which is for the better in the long run. Real true friends are hard to come by man, don’t seek them out of desperation, or you’ll end up with shitty people (not implying that you are). True friends await us both, their paths haven’t crossed ours yet.
It gets easier as you get older. When I was in my 20s, I had loads of ‘Friends’…now in my late 30s, I can go weeks without seeing/speaking to anyone, apart from my children when they visit. You realise that life is so much simpler on your own, I keep myself busy with work, gym, hobbies, and my kids. I have 2 close friends, but they have families etc too and we rarely speak, but they’re there. I guess as you get older, you get sick of all the BS people bring into your life. It’s happier and more peaceful to be alone. Also, it’s not exactly hard to get female companionship for when you do need some human interaction.
Welcome to adulthood, bud.
You’ve got to learn how to live your own life now.
I just do things alone. If you want friends as you age hang on to the ones you have. Reach out, check in, go to birthdays etc. I didn’t do that and lost touch with a lot of people. I have some acquaintances but they are draining for me to spend time with. I think it’s important to be able to do what you want alone but also keep up with your friends
I recommend chat apps. You will meet people from all over the world. Many people may be rude or unfriendly, but it’s easy to switch to a new person to communicate with. Omegle is one such app. OmeTV is another.
Also, I grew up religious. It was easy to meet young people by joining youth groups at various churches. But I’m no longer a Christian. So if I had to do life over, I’d probably look up meetups or Unitarian Universalist churches. Or other groups that match my interests.
To be honest, a lack of close friends has never bothered me as much as it seems to bother most others. But I also live in a big city where I’m surrounded by people all the time.
As far as advice goes, I say find a job with like-minded coworkers where you can socialize more. That’s where I do a lot of my socializing, but I’m also someone who is pretty content alone.
Also, don’t be afraid to be the guy inviting people out, hosting events, etc.
I 26f used to very extrovert in school and college and have friends but now I don’t have a single friend.. no social media like insta FB X etc. I was feeling so lonely so I tried Reddit… Once I stopped reaching to my friends everyone stoped … No one ever contact me since 2-3 years not even on my birthday so that how everything going…. In my life
Been living this reality for years now. The trick is building a routine that doesn’t depend on other people’s availability. I have my regular coffee shop where the baristas know my order, my gym buddies who I see but don’t hang out with outside, my book club that meets monthly. It’s like having a social safety net without the pressure of deep friendships.
So are these 10 people really friends, or just acquaintances that you hang-out with/talk to sometimes? There’s a difference.
How do you live by yourself? Find a hobby, something you enjoy and just do it.
It’s much better having 1 close and good friend vs 30 shitty ones.
I work 2 jobs. Moved to a different state and have zero friends. I’m too busy & old for friends.
I don’t have friends at all. We’ll not like random people “friends” I have family, which to me is better. I’ve been let down in my life more than I’d like to admit which just drive me to a place where I could care less about having “friends”.
I have my wife, my animals, my brothers, my cousins, my parents and aunt and nephews. I don’t believe I need anything other than that. I mean I did start going back to college for a career change and I’m not a person who just outright avoids people, I make connections and do what I gotta do but I just don’t see a need in having these random people become a part of my life.. I got what I need already. I obviously live with my wife and animals but everyone else I mentioned lives hours away and I rarely get to see them. I do talk on the phone with them at least once a month though.
But yeah, I enjoy my alone time, I enjoy my hobbies. I can spend all day alone working on something on my lathe, or tinkering with something I want to learn and I don’t feel sad about it. If you strive for a connection like that you need to do something to make it happen. Join a club or something where you can meet people and maybe become friends. I on the other hand will avoid that. I’m good with what I have.
10 friends is a lot. If you pay really close attention to those relationships you’ll notice some of those are just acquaintances, coworkers, or maybe even distant relatives.
I don’t want to get into the semantics of friend requirements or anything but I find just finding like 3-4 solid people in your life is great. They introduce you to more people, ideas and experiences but in the end your loyalty, love and time is prioritized to them because you care about them.
My friends without me
Easy just live on.
I’m 40 and have like, 4-5 people I consider my buddies, spend most of my time by myself or with my partner, and I like it that way tbh. Social stuff drains me fast.
I play a lot of videogames and watch shows, And fiddle with some other digital productions just for fun.
I used to have many friends but have none today.
How i live ?
I do what i want to
Go to movies, restaurants, parks, etc etc all alone
Awkward at first but soon you’ll understand it’s peaceful and blissful.
How much effort have you put into making new friends?
My situation and personality may vary from yours, but I enjoy meeting people and talking to them. All my local coffee shops, sandwich places, etc I talk with the people that work there and have become friends with. They tell me about their kids, I dress up and go to trunk or treat events with them, we gossip about movies. I go to local bars rarely and chat with bartenders and have a good time with anybody that wants to join in with the conversation. Sports, WWII history, all kinds of fun topics have come up. I like my local gaming stores and there are board game groups on fb so join their discords and chat away.
In my case, it is very rare that I consider someone a “friend”. Currently, I don’t have friends and I don’t need ’em. I have my gf. In weeks we will move to a better city. My mom is still alive. Maybe I’ll have new friends but it’s on if that doesn’t happen. So, yeah. It works for me.
Less than 10??? Broskie, I have 2 real friends, and I count myself incredibly fortunate. The giant social circle naturally shrinks after we finish school. It’s ok.
I am my own best friend and I’m pretty cool when I stop to think about it. Seriously though who cares how many friends you have if you’re happy with yourself
At your age, I was military and usually overseas, so I had work friends, barracks friends, friends I made at whatever club the other GI’s were hanging at. I would go out in groups a lot back then. Mostly because we were overseas so we hung together.
Nobody ever tells you growing up how inherently lonely life can be. Especially when all the friends you have are older and more established and having families and everything like that, makes you feel a little more alone, huh? Until we learn to sit with ourselves and find a love for our own company the feelings of loneliness will continue. Be your own best friend man! Take yourself out to lunch go to a movie. Do the things that you would do with a best friend with yourself and tell you learn to appreciate your own company more you know.. and by putting yourself out there into the world rather than just sitting in your house by yourself out there into the world all the time you’re creating opportunities to meet new people and establish new connections every time you leave your house you know.?
You have to get off of reddit and minimize the internet. Next step is to go to big church and become an active member of their singles group. These people are usually nice and the potential for long-term friendship is there.
I think having a small circle is okay as long as there’s a regular amount of interaction on both ends. If the convos are bland and short then that’s when the problems start to arise especially if you don’t regularly socialise with people in real life.
Finding friends is difficult but I’ve sort of sucked it up and I just do things by myself. I’ve travelled by myself and I’ve found joy in learning about different cultures and histories through my travels- this is a strictly solo activity for me can’t have someone distracting me lol.
I also began to learn Russian and Spanish which has kept me busy, I’m super dedicated to it and have met some great people online from it.
Recently I met someone from online that I knew for quite some time and while they weren’t a bad person I found it difficult to be around them so that entire experience turned of off from meeting anyone new at least for the mean time.
I’d suggest trying to meet people through apps or social media like me and don’t let a bad experience make you give up like me!! Start learning something and join groups online about it. Watch a TV show and join the fandom. You could also start going to social gatherings and events that interest you.
You could also try to rekindle with your old friends and acquaintances, the worst they could say is no. I’ve done this before and it worked.
As sad as this sounds this is what adulthood has been for me it’s pretty dead if you don’t have friends or a partner.
This is the perfect opportunity to work on your self, and go be who you are meant to be. You create your own happiness, learn to enjoy your own company, and when you do get together with your friends its like you picked up right where you left off. Hanging out in discord shooting the shit, playing a game is an option as well, and is a blast.