I met someone — let’s call him C. He was everything I had dreamed of in a partner since I was a child. It felt like the universe finally sent the right person… but at the worst possible time. I had just moved to a new country. I was unemployed, depressed, and completely lost. Around that time, I also found out I had a half-sister I never knew existed — and then, before I could even begin to process that, she passed away. I’ve never had a real relationship with my father (the last time I saw him was 18 years ago), and this only added to the grief.
C came into my life in the middle of all that. He was present. Kind. Consistent. He kept his word, showed up on time, made plans and followed through — all the things I had never experienced in a relationship before. But I was emotionally and mentally drained. I couldn’t fully show up. A few months in, he broke up with me.
When he left, it felt like I lost a part of myself — like the light inside me dimmed. It’s been two years now, and I still don’t feel like the same person. I’ve become bitter, sad, and disconnected from the version of me I used to love. Is that what really happens when your heart gets broken?
I went to therapy for eight months, but even then I couldn’t bring myself to talk about him. The pain was so heavy, it felt physical. I’ve tried dating other people, but no matter what, he’s still the one I think about when the day ends.
The feelings are starting to fade, slowly. But I know I need to do something more to truly move on.
So I’m asking — how do you let go of the one who felt like the one?
Comments
Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We’d like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you’ll
get a nifty flair change to let you know and we’ll drop a link so you can see our host’s take on your story.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Backup of the post’s body: I met someone — let’s call him C. He was everything I had dreamed of in a partner since I was a child. It felt like the universe finally sent the right person… but at the worst possible time. I had just moved to a new country. I was unemployed, depressed, and completely lost. Around that time, I also found out I had a half-sister I never knew existed — and then, before I could even begin to process that, she passed away. I’ve never had a real relationship with my father (the last time I saw him was 18 years ago), and this only added to the grief.
C came into my life in the middle of all that. He was present. Kind. Consistent. He kept his word, showed up on time, made plans and followed through — all the things I had never experienced in a relationship before. But I was emotionally and mentally drained. I couldn’t fully show up. A few months in, he broke up with me.
When he left, it felt like I lost a part of myself — like the light inside me dimmed. It’s been two years now, and I still don’t feel like the same person. I’ve become bitter, sad, and disconnected from the version of me I used to love. Is that what really happens when your heart gets broken?
I went to therapy for eight months, but even then I couldn’t bring myself to talk about him. The pain was so heavy, it felt physical. I’ve tried dating other people, but no matter what, he’s still the one I think about when the day ends.
The feelings are starting to fade, slowly. But I know I need to do something more to truly move on.
So I’m asking — how do you let go of the one who felt like the one?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Please remember that the man you dream of as a child is not the man a fully adult woman would choose as a life partner.
Dating isn’t going to help you. You have a lot of family trauma. Work on getting through that and getting healthy and on solid ground emotionally. That way, when you meet someone, your standards for him and yourself will be higher. And as you work on yourself, think about what you as an adult want in a relationship.
I feel like you’re attaching the trauma of losing your sister and the grief you’ve felt for your father to C, and identifying the loss you’ve felt with C’s departure from your life.
C is but a part of the painful time you’ve endured, but to you, C represents the only part that you have a chance of regaining/fixing.
I feel like the sooner you get closure from C, the sooner you can possibly begin to heal.