How do you get over the fact that someone wasted your life from ages 17-25. How do you get over the fact that this person strung you along for so many years and you let it happen. How do you get over the fact that you let yourself get played like this?
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Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Go be happy
Flip the script. You didn’t waste your life from 17-25, you spent those years learning about exactly what you like, don’t like, and want to look for in the future.
Screw him. He doesn’t get to “waste your life”
Take some time to break down the things you actively want to pursue in the meantime, they’re a great distraction!
Time.
Looking back, that time is both far away and actually much more insignificant for me now compared to what I believed when it was „just now“.
We grow on things; on good things, and on bad things. The bad will still hurt, same as the good things will bring joy when you remember them; but they will be put into perspective, mostly by our own life choices.
Count your lessons and blessings! 25 is young as heck.
What happened, happened, and couldn’t have happened any other way. You likely wouldn’t have listened to anyone and kept on thinking it was alright.
So take the lesson, and move on. Feeling bad about it isn’t going to serve you. Keeping the lesson in mind will serve you not to fall for such a thing again.
Many people have embarrassing moments, lost time, or other issues. Stay positive, and look to the future.
The thing that helps me when I get into that funk, is remembering that I was (most of the time) the kind of partner that I’d want to be. I was empathetic and supportive. I had those skills, I just offered them to someone who deceived me.
And someone who really wants to deceive you will get away with it, for a while. And for longer, when you’re younger and you’re trying to be the good kind of partner you want to be.
While I do wish I’d listened to my instincts a bit sooner, I didn’t “let myself get played” any more than I let my care get stolen. I parked it in a secure place, locked, with nothing of value visible or in it! But, if someone comes prepared to steal a car, and picks mine… if they come with the intent and the tools and they are focused on getting away with it? They probably will.
We can never perfectly protect ourselves at people who really want to get away with this shit.
Give your past self some grace. It’s great to know what you’d want to do differently, but it’s also good to celebrate what you did well, but just did for a person who was deceiving you about what they were going to offer in return.
25 is young omg… that’s nothin
(kidding, obviously 8 years of your life but you are still soooo young and i’ve seen worse, believe me)
You at 40 are going to be so grateful to yourself at 25 for leaving when you did
You are so young still man. If you spent like 20 yrs with the dude I would say you wasted your youth, but you have so much life ahead of you.
I was in a relationship from 19-24 that I definitely shouldn’t have been in and I hated the version of myself that I became with that person. Now I’m 28 and married to my dream man. I love myself, I love my life, I’m happier than I ever thought possible and everything that happened to me in that past relationship is just a crazy story I tell when I meet new people. Something to laugh about.
The biggest advice I can give is to not take it too seriously! You live and you learn and life only gets better the farther away you get from that bad relationship.
Bruh 25 is so, so young. Hell, 35 is still young. Stop worrying, just live the rest of your life with joy, do your skincare, eat healthy and keep fit. You’ll feel and look young for longer the less you worry and the more you invest in yourself.
36f here. Life is SIGNIFICANTLY better after 30. That’s all. Take the lessons, note the red flags you missed so you can catch them next time, and live your very best life.
Turn this into a learning experience. Everyone makes mistakes. We’ve all had a bad relationship experience (of various levels). My ex broke up with me after a major surgery (the day after – OVER the phone). I learned from my mistakes and doing much better years later. Learn, move onward and you know NOW you DESERVE BETTER!
17? You were still a child, at 25 is when your brain has matured your journey has barely begun. You have only wasted that time if you didn’t learn anything. Now you know to put yourself first, every time! Once you meet a bum, you have met them all, men are not original.
Some women go well into their 50s.
It’s not wasted years at all. You figured it out in 8 years at the ripe young age of 25. Rather than at 60 when you’re stuck to them, absolutely miserable for decades, and can’t easily financially recover from a break up. Now you know what not to find in a partner. Go forth and enjoy your youth.
You didn’t waste the time, you spent it learning a very valuable lesson. You learned what you like, what you don’t, what you’ll accept, and what you won’t. Not everyone learns those lessons!
Well. I wasted 19 years. And my kids have a shit father. Who doesn’t even talk to three of them. And the fourth only talks to him cause he spends money on him.
You just do the best you can and show them how to have healthy boundaries so they don’t repeat it.
Regret is pointless. We only ever move forward. Reorient and focus on what’s ahead of you, not what’s behind.
Life is long, you’re young so don’t be surprised if you have more wasted years in your life. I was depressed for 5 years in my 30s. There’s nothing I can do about that in my 40s. I can only move forward and do my best.
Hey, you figured it out and got away. Twenty-five is still very young if you look at the long term. Plenty of time to concentrate on yourself, get a good education, put together a career, and set yourself up for much better times.
You look back and figure out what you can learn about yourself from that relationship.
Shortly after that, you come to the realization that you are still young, your brain has just finished making synaptic connections that help you foresee outcomes of your choices, and. And and and.
It finally occurs to you that it’s offensive AF to anyone over the age of 26 to suggest that your youth is gone. GTFO with that ageist thinking! You are just getting started. I’d suggest that was your last childhood relationship and the next one will be your first adult relationship.
Seeing as how that was your last childhood relationship, stop beating yourself up about “getting played.” You haven’t had enough life experience to see that coming or get out sooner, brain development notwithstanding.