I (27m) have worked construction for several years, I’m good enough to still be employed, but not outstanding by any means.
Due to the fact that I’m only human, I of course make small mistakes, my boss can’t help but look at me like an idiot, especially because I work with him in a two man team and there’s no escape.
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He gets annoyed when I take a few extra seconds to complete a task, simply because I don’t want to rush and mess up.
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I’m a naturally clumsy person, but in his eyes, I may aswell be an fuck up.
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He’s got 35 years experience, and expects me to know as much as him, which obviously isn’t possible.
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The mistakes I make are slight inconveniences at best, yet he overacts as he thinks people who make mistakes are morons.
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He’s a good person, but always talks to me with disrespect when he’s in a mood, which honestly isn’t that often, but it’s often enough that makes my anxiety sky high. I constantly feel like I’m walking in egg shells around him.
I could go on and on, but I’ll stop here.
How the hell do you stop your boss insulting you?
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Find another job.
Coming from someone with autism, i find your 2nd point really distasteful and offensive. Ew.
Start doing the same to him.
Ask him to stop
You have two options. Tell him not to do it or quit. Personally I’d tell him not to do it, if he continues, quit
Shit on his desk
Fuck his wife
Stand up for yourself!
Learn assertive behaviour skills, boundaries and broken record. YouTube is excellent.
I work with someone who used to get told he worked slowly
His reply, you always get paid on my jobs and how many times have we had to go back zero. Never got complained about again.
So a, look for a new role, b, remind your boss slow and steady wins the race
He’s got issues within himself that he’s projecting onto you and you’re effectively taking everything he hates about himself like a sponge – horrible situation. Get him therapy or get a new job
Edit: or talk to him about it and ask him to stop. Might help him see some light
Working as a general dogsbody / labourer on sites for many years, best just be a man and take it. Some blokes are always like this and it just leads to more trouble honestly.
The “shit always rolls downhill” mentality is always there. Someone new will come along soon, make a mistake and then he’ll be the butt of the jokes.
Im not saying it should be that way, Im telling you my experience that it never changes
Have a quiet chat with him if your a two man team it should be fairly easy to get your point across.
Boss may have his reasons probably stress and grouchiness.
If that fails move to comment 1 and get new job
Good luck with it all
Get a new job. He’s a knob.
Does he actually verbally insult you or just look at you badly? If it’s just looks, I’d just ignore him. If he actually insults you, I’d tell him to sort himself out. One of the most relieving things about exiting the military I’d been in my whole life was realising how little shit I actually have to take from my bosses now. I work in a trade where it’s fairly stereotypically blokey/has banter. But if my boss actually started insulting me personally, or my work (beyond legitimate critique), I’d just tell him not to.
Are you making the same mistake every time?
He’s not just insulting you he’s bullying you. And he gets away with it because you let him. Say something! And if it continues then submit a grievance
Sorry to say this but it’s extremely common in construction. You need quite thick skin to survive in that world. If you have the balls then just give him some shit back, it’s worked with most people I know but of course only you know yourself or him.
Maybe see how others interact around him that he doesn’t flip at, see what they do and how they act. Maybe talk to someone in the company you get on with to see if they have advice on how to handle him.
If not, I would probably try and find a new job likely with people you may gel with better. It’ll overall probably be better for your mental health and work progression but if you can stick at it, I would, construction is all about who and what you know. Maybe try learn from him if you’re able.
Good luck, you got this!
Oh no, are you my replacement working for Scott?
He’s a fucking prick, the guy before me left because of the same reason.
Find a new job and tell him to get fucked, then he’ll suddenly be really nice to you for the last few weeks. Prick.
2 people I worked with have had mental health problems and quit due to managers like this. They should have done it years ago. They were like shells.
It’s not worth it for your sense of self to stay if this is the toll on you.
You’ve not given any examples of him insulting you. You’ve given examples of you being bad at your job and him becoming frustrated.
It sounds like he has standards as you’re not meeting them.
> He’s a good person
Doesn’t really sound like it does it
Hey buddy I will ask you a question I got asked once.
Do you want to be working there in one year or two years for the same money ?
If the answer is no.
When are you gonna start looking for a new job.
It’s better to look for a new role and not need it, than be really unhappy and be desperate for a new role.
Re the boss, some people are just dicks sadly.
Good luck
If you are in construction and have experience, perhaps you should consider going self-employed? As the saying goes, no one got really rich working for someone else. You might surprise yourself.
Sounds like someone who doesn’t like working with others, especially when those others are young and less experienced, or he may just be realising he is getting old and sees you, and any other younger person, as the one who is going to replace him, so belittles everything you do to make it look like you are useless.
You will need to grow some balls, but aside from leaving, the only way to deal with a person like that is to stand up for yourself.
Remind him that he has decades more experience than you and if he isn’t willing to train you properly, then he will have to put up with you making the odd mistake or taking a little bit longer to do things.
You could just ignore him, maybe roll your eyes or make some kind of gesture that shows you aren’t interested in listening to his bullshit, maybe say something along the lines of “Yeah, yeah, ok old man, you show me how to do it then”, followed by stepping away from whatever you are doing, he will most likely kick off but you can counteract that by telling him to either leave you alone to get on with it or do it himself.
Find another job, don’t turn up when you have and if he calls you, tell him to fuck off.
I’ve used the line “What do you expect to achieve by talking to me like that”?
Works better with an audience.
Boss sounds like a walloper though.
You nip it in the bud but it’s far too late now
There’re two things that are going to happen either you will make a mistake on the job due to the anxiety & possibly cause injury to yourself or others.
Or you will end up exploding on your boss from the resentment & do something you regret. You sound like a decent genuine lad. First secure another job then then quit. Due to the shortage in your trade it won’t be a problem.
Mate I work in a civil service “professional environment” the narcissistic bullying behaviour & gas lighting I’ve seen from colleagues is shocking.
Due to my height & build I can come across as intimidating as fck as I don’t do small talk as well. They leave me alone for the most part. It’s mostly a bunch of insecure miserable ppl trying to cause problems for others to make themselves feel better. It’s sad but it happens.
Just your average old construction worker, sadly, just don’t listen or give it back to him
Gain some leverage over him with the council/building inspector/health and safety executive/HMRC.
Find another job, then tackle his about it, itmight feel like there is no point in this but the older generations often have no idea how their behaviour is unacceptable.
Tell him how you find his constant jiggling g an attacks affect you and that it is not on at all, whatever his reaction , it’s irrelevant- tell you are leaving as you are no longer able to suffer him. Then tell him that unless he learns from this he’ll lose other staff for the same reason.
For reference I have a similar experience level as your boss but I have a vile time as an apprentice to institutionalised bullying and so I vowed I would never be that person to a subordinate. Sadly I see it all too often from my contemporaries . If they are not told where they are going wrong they’ll always be in the dark
is my dad ur boss?
Tell him all the stuff you just told us and that if it doesn’t improve you’ll find a boss who treats you better.
From my experience the construction industry, especially work on construction sites, is riddled with wankers. I had a similar experience when I started off working on sites with a few different people. Eventually moved to the consultant side of things and everyone seems a lot happier/ less angry. In short tell him to stop or get a different job.
Just offer him out mate… ronnie pickering style. Not even joking. He will back down.
He’s taking out his own insecurities on you. Don’t let him get you down and realise that it’s not you that’s the problem it’s him. You’ll meet people like this throughout your career and once you have the confidence enough to know what you’re doing is right in your mind it won’t bother you. It’s difficult to get your confidence working with someone like this though so it might do you good to fuck him off and work somewhere else when the time comes.
I’ve been in this situation.
I stuck up with it whilst looking for a move away, which i got and took.
Had the usual counter offer and turned it down.
Glad i moved in and glad i worked where i did.
Construction game has always had a way of putting people down… rightly or wrongly.
I recommend a move, for many reasons. The best advice I can give is that you are as good as you think and what you realise are minor mistakes are nothing.
All the best
If you do what I am about to suggest prepare to be fired or quit.
Next time he berates you simply stop what you are doing, turn around, look him square in the eye and ask why he feels the need to constantly criticise you. If you don’t get a response you are happy with, walk away. That is of course if he doesn’t fire you.
If you can get someone to do it better and cheaper be my guest. Talk to me how you would want me to talk to you. Any more of this shit and im off. – OR just leave (after finding another job of course!!).
You will spend a good portion of your life while awake at work. If oyu have something or someone making you dread it then it’s time to bite the bullet and move on UNLESS there is something in it for you – The ONLY time I put up with disrespect was during my apprenticeship. Reason being it was a means to an end, There was light at the end of the tunnel. As soon as I completed my time I was off like a shot, Quickly earning much more than many of the billy big gob’s that gave me shit during my training (by the way it was just some of the guys – most were great but it was enough for me to say stuff this im out of here).
I worked in construction with many people that have the same personality traits as you describe – from when I was an apprentice at 16 to when I was 38. Construction is a hard life and it breeds hard (often extremely toxic) personalities.
People like that pick on people they perceive as weak/do not respect. The only thing they are going to respect is someone with a strong personality that they perceive to be on their level work wise. Plus, once they’ve made their mind up on you, it’s extremely difficult to change.
He is a prick. Simple.
>2. I’m a naturally clumsy person, but in his eyes, I may aswell be an fuck up.
Frankly that is the kind of excuse fuckups use tbh. “Naturally clumsy” without some kind of condition causing it is just bullshit.
Any other job I would tell you to talk to someone but I understand your industry doesn’t work like that. I’d say next time he’s objectively awful just call him on it, casual like and maybe a bit jokey, if you go in all serious (or god forbid vulnerable) it’ll be worse, but you can either do that, ignore it, or dish it back. Those are your only options.
If it’s really bad you might want to look for another position.
If you make mistakes because you are not paying attention / distracted and you are slow because you are being lazy, then you deserve the criticism and should take note and improve.
It’s annoying as fuck working with people who don’t put the effort in and you end up carrying them all the time. And it’s not due to them being incapable, it’s due to them being lazy and not giving a fuck.
It’s not school and we are not your parents. If you are not pulling your weight we don’t have to be nice to you.
A clear out n out bully. 35 years of experience, he should know better than to keep eating away at your confidence, and making you feel worse with each passing day. Report him and move on please..🙏
“How about you spend your time teaching me to be better instead of putting me down?”
You’re boss probably bust his ass for £8 an hour back in the day. 10 hours straight for £80. Nowadays, you get £12.21 minimum wage and the new lads don’t want to work hard. £100 a day is a standard labours wage but a standard labourer works hard. I expect he’s worked hard for him past employers and he expects his employees to work hard for him. Anyhow, you’re paid by the hour and you can only do what you’re capable of doing. Apply yourself physically and mentally, constantly trying to time manage efficiently to speed up the process. You’ll eventually be running your own employees. Maybe he’s not had many employees and he needs to understand that with experience comes efficiency. At your own pace, or he’ll have to find someone else.
“I’m starting to think you don’t love me.”
Set a boundary
You won’t find many bosses in construction or labour based work that aren’t pricks. Tend to hate every kind of person. Can’t comprehend how someone learning the job they’ve done for decades might struggle. Tend to cheat on their missus, avoid their kids, and thrive off toxicity.
I’m usually bigger than he is.