I (20F) really love my boyfriend (21 M). We’ve been dating for a couple months now, and he’s kind and attentive, and everything I could ever ask for. But my past makes it hard to fully relax. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, even when things are good.
I started dating again a few months after I got cheated on, and my ex and I were together for even shorter than my current relationship now. But it still affects me.
I met my boyfriend during my healing process and he knew about what happened, and he was very patient and wasn’t beating around the bush either, he told me his intentions and was willing to wait for me because he wanted me. I ended up falling for him too and said yes when he asked me out after I told him I was ready.
We’re LDR now, so my anxiety levels get even worse sometimes. Nowadays I just expect him to be two timing me or for there to be another girl, or him just leaving me outright for another girl.
He reassures me very well, and maybe I have no reason to think this way because we almost always talk to each other when we aren’t busy.
But how do you start believing that you’re actually safe in a relationship?
TL;DR:
Past cheating makes it hard to trust my current, kind boyfriend. I keep spiraling. How do you feel safe again?
Comments
Never take out anothers mistakes on someone else. You’ll let someone great walk out of your life that way.
Start journaling when you feel the anxiety go up. Try and pinpoint what is going on and then make lists on why what you’re feeling is most likely untrue. Also, therapy.
Being in love is giving someone your heart, knowing they could break it. And if they do, they were never meant for you. Be thankful when someone who doesn’t fully love you shows you their true colors and doesn’t steal more of your time. It’s hard, but the right one would absolutely never.