I don’t wanna show my body. I’ve tried. I hate it. I wore a wig once and every guy was drooling.
I stopped and threw it out days later. I was disgusted by the fact men came out the woodwork wanting to give me attention they usually don’t.
I wear loose shit.
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Money. Lots and lots of money.
You put yourself in situations to meet men who share your interests. Then you talk and are friendly. Not every man wants a woman who shows off her body.
You don’t need to show off your body. Dress cleanly, have a personality. Good luck
Maybe find someone who likes your brain? Men aren’t complicated. You could have a body you hate, but they won’t.
If you want to attract a long-term partner, then you don’t want to be attracting randos anyway. Be yourself. Focus on meeting people and making friends. The best romantic relationships often grow out of friendships.
Make a list of qualities you like in a man. Then think about where that kind of guy hangs out.
For me, I don’t want someone who does a lot of heavy drinking, so I’m not going to hang out at bars.
I like guys who have a strong Christian faith, like to read, who are handy with building or working on things, etc. If I were looking, I’d be going to church, the library and Home Depot or Lowes.
Let me ask you this- are you only attracted to hot guys? Or rich guys? If you want to hook up with a nice guy, then look for a nice guy. If someone truly loves you, then they will think your the most beautiful woman in the world, even if everyone else thinks your a troll.
Why do you want to attract a man if you dont like attention ?
You course just wear a loose sweat shirt that says, “HUSBAND WANTED ”
on the front of it.
Put a bag on your head to create an air of mystery…
I’m currently looking at a coworker who I think is very pretty and she is wearing a long, loose dress with a loose sweater over top. It doesn’t “draw the eye” she’s not grab your attention attractive, and she’s not thin, but she is dressed in a pretty color, her outfit is put together, and she has a lovely smile. I think it’s just about making yourself look nice and put together, bit necessarily about looking sexy.
A (good) husband is not looking for a bang-maid, he is looking for someone who would make a supportive partner and a wonderful mother to his children. Showing off your body does not need to form a part of that, although being comfortable and confident with your body does.
Now that dating often starts online, it is easier than ever to attract a man with conversation, attitudes and personality that stand out from the norm. The men who are only looking to get laid get easier to filter out when you have clarity on what you want and what you have to offer.
As a guy, I must say, if all it took was a wig to attract men, you must be one hot mama.
I don’t show off my body. My husband and I met on Match eight years ago. My reasoning was that I’m not a club person and not into typical dudes, so I’m not likely to meet someone I like in that type of scenario. You have to put yourself out in the world in life doing things you love. For me, I tossed a profile online (be VERY picky if you do this…because…yikes on bikes there’s some creepers out there), and we started talking about hiking. Several months later we met face to face.
The type of man you would want, isn’t the type of man who would be drawn in by revealing outfits, so don’t wear them. Be you. The right one will appreciate that more.
Eye contact. Good hugs. Genuine high fives – before and after sex. Appreciating a sassy slap on the butt every now and again. Grooming. Foot care, footwear. And great communication, last, but not least. 🙌🏼❤️🙌🏽
Just be you. Be yourself..anything else will fall apart. What are your interests? What is your passion..Seek groups for like-minded people. Go for friendships and see what happens..
I wear baggy clothes. Guys still like me. It’s not that hard. In my opinion it is what all decent people want.
I met my partner at work. I was a hospital cleaner, he was (is) a doctor.
I assure you that I wowed him with my personality, not my revolting work uniform!
I “found” my husband when I wasn’t looking for one. He came to see his cousin who was stationed in Germany. We met, I showed them around my area. No showing off my body or anything like that. Just sightseeing, friendly conversations, and the rest is history. Married 25 years. 🙂
Go to places where you can have conversations with people who share similar interests. Like working out? Be open to people talking to you at the gym. Like gaming/nerdy stuff? Consider going somewhere and playing some tabletop DND or something. Are you an artist? Maybe go to an art class.
Don’t look. Find someone that shares your values in the path your life is already heading.
I met my husband when I was hanging out with friends. We’ve been together twenty years.
Also, don’t expect “true love at first sight.”
People expect this magical fairy tale. That’s just not reasonable.
Find a life partner who will respect and support you. Treat them the way you want to be treated.
Is that “settling?” No, it’s life. A lifetime of happiness, right there for the taking.
you’re not setting yourself up for ease of interfacing with the world if ‘disgust’ is how you perceive basic male attraction :/ I know that, in a lot of ways, it can suck, but “it is what it is”, it isn’t going anywhere and it’s such a foundational premise of society that digging in on a position of disgust is gonna be forever difficult.
be interesting. there are plenty of men who are looking for interesting women, but like you, they are shy
Develop a fascinating, well-rounded personality.
My first husband and I had a mutual friend and we met at her place one day. My second husband and I worked together. My third husband I met on a dating website (we’ve been together 18 years at this point).
I met my boyfriends at school, at work, on dating websites, and through friends. I’ve never once dated someone who just randomly pursued me in public.
When you’re looking for a job do you sit back and wait for an employer to find you and offer you a job or do you decide instead on the people you want to work with first and then submit your resume? Make the same effort with love as you do with employment. Your dream job won’t find you. You need to seek it.
But if you’re going to sit back and wait for a partner to find you, you need to get their attention. An interesting person has interests. Be interesting. This will get mens attention. Then sort through them until you find one you like. It will be a very small percentage of them. this method will also take a long time and requires a certain passiveness and patience. It also assumes the guy is looking around for a partner so you will limit your options further.
So instead, I’d suggest picking the guys you find interesting and attractive first and then put yourself in his path and talk to him. With this method, this means all the guys who become interested in you too are men you already find attractive. You’ve already done the initial filtering. This also casts a wider net by not requiring him to be actively looking around for a partner.
An interesting man has many interests. Go find him there.
Men have active imagination. No loose dress can stop us from forming a mental picture.
The kind if men who come out of the woodwork when you wear revealing clothing is the kind who think you’re easy. You don’t need them.
Dress in whatever makes you feel comfortable, it would not drive away the right man.
Lol, that must have been one hell of a wig!
You don’t really specify what you want out of a husband so it is hard to advise.
But being disgusted with men who enjoy being attracted to women is going to narrow the field.
I met my wife at an ice skating rink. At the time, she was wearing one of the large hooded parkas, and honestly couldn’t even tell what she was wearing underneath the huge coat. We just skated and chatted for a little while, and I took the shot and invite myself over to her home.
I think she liked wearing the coat, as she was sort hiding within it.
I don’t remember the reason I started talking to her? Clearly it wasn’t her hair or clothes. BTW, she’s still gorgeous after 49 years!
I’ve never worn anything remotely risqué. Men are attracted by personality. They like you for you just like all other humans.
When I met my husband I was Mormon (so never wore anything revealing) and had more or less had my head shaved for a year because I was going to school full time and working part time and long, curly hair was a time consuming hassle.
It was SO liberating. Yes, I got asked out a lot less, but the few guys that asked me out that year were a lot more interesting and emotionally mature.
I’m seeing that in our kids, too. They are older teens. Our daughter is very pretty and fashionable, and has to do a lot of work to put assholes in their place. Our nonbinary kid who is a little haphazard about the way they dress hasn’t even had a bad friend. (Well that I know of.)
Being clean and well put together is enough to attract someone that is marriage material. A pretty face and a banging body are just bonuses, and won’t last, long term, anyway.
shallow hals…….
You want to ‘attract’ a man yet don’t what him to be attracted.
How about you look for a man, hopefully not based on looks, as that would be a wee bit hypocritical. When you find this man, you approach him.
I am curious. Are you repulsed when you see all the women ads featuring attractive women? Do you buy those products?
Men find courage attractive and yes beauty is also attractive. Its kind of its definition.
Pee on his leg to assert dominance and mark your territory.
Things work both ways … dressing in a classic sexy manner attracts and conversely a woman should be able to dress sexy and not be hounded, but going to what is socially considered the opposite, baggy or grunge, can send a proactive “stay away” message … depending on the circumstances and your vibe it could be a “stay the HELL away” message.
Bottom line is just be you, love you, and find your people who live and dress like you. When you find your people you’ll find your person.
My SO does not show her body either. She doesn’t even like me to see her at times. For my part I tell her I love her mind and her body. Self image is a big part of it for her.
If you had a high school sweet heart I suggest looking them up, that’s what we did and we found each other. It’s the best.
Same I can’t stand being stared at but they don’t care , it’s gross🤢 why can they not understand it’s unwanted attention?
The Museum of Fine Arts Houston has mixers that are nominally to show off a new exhibit before the public sees it, but actually to get a few drinks in people and get them talking, and maybe dating. Art openings at other venues are also good places to meet people.
Personality. A good personality will win over a man fast. Just be pleasant to him. Guys go apeshit over that.
Face it, a harridan will usually repel a man. Would you be I terested in a man calling you a dumb cunt? Then why would you be upset if a man compliments you on the way you look? I’m a guy who worked in office settings. Usually, it was jeans and a tee shirt, but every now and then, I’d show up in a suit. The compliments and comments I got made me feel good. As a standoffish person, it helped me grow closer to my co-workers.
You dress in loose, casual clothes, but what is your attitude to the men around you? Are you terse and crabby? Are you pleasant and upbeat? Why do you even want a man?
Let’s put it this way. Two girlfriends of mine I met through a common interest (psychology, talking about the Myers Briggs Type Indicator to be precise). And when I was on the dating apps, recently, briefly (gave up), I always looked to see if we had something in common. If I didn’t see it, in the 5 pics and tiny blurb of text, I skipped no matter what she looked like.
Personally, if I see a woman who wears loose/baggy clothing and not doing a thing for her looks, I take that as a VERY strong sign “Leave me TF alone!”
Granted, I rarely express interest even if a woman is very good looking. Not unless I see something in common. And I’m sure it’s a situation where approaching her is OK. So I wouldn’t be “coming out of the woodwork” anyways.
So I would look for men who share common interests. That is a much better foundation for dating anyways.
When I (m60) met my wife (f58) some 22 years ago, she wore turtlenecks in the winter, shirts buttoned up to the second to last button in the summer, long pants – business clothes (suit jacket, shirt buttoned all the way up, dress slacks) for work. Very conservative dresser.
I just liked her. We had common interests, we worked in the same field, we liked doing similar things. We like to say that it was almost like dating ourselves (but the opposite gender). She just liked me. That grew into love.
Don’t get me wrong, I thought she was cute, cuter than cute. But neither of us was flashy. We get to see everything we want to see in the privacy of our own bedroom 🙂
She still wears turtlenecks (love em’).
Our getting together had nothing to do with anyone being a peacock. I’ve had three serious relationships in my life and I can say that none of them involved a relationship started because someone looked and dressed in a certain way. They started because we actually liked each other.
I’m fat. I have lymphoedema and therefore, (strangely enough) I am invisible. I have noticed that if a person can see past my packaging and hear me talk for 5 mins, I have them in the bag, so to speak. Not literally because that is weird. It makes me sad that so many people are superficial and it always shocks me when they arent.
Personality, self confidence, the willingness to take a chance on an unknown stranger. What’s the harm on asking someone out? There’s two outcomes; you go out, or you continue as you were not going out. There’s nothing to lose. I asked someone out who was flirtatious with me and they just didn’t call me. We even worked in the same complex and said hello everyday after. They might not have been attracted to me, maybe checked their flirtations and weren’t single, maybe just didn’t want to be dating. Take your shot don’t make it personal.
İ wasn’t trying. İn fact i wasn’t the least interested in dating or getting married. However when we met we enjoyed talking and he had as much curiosity as I did about everything. İt was having a sense of humour , sense of adventure, being creative plus lust that attracted him .
I dress moderately, cover my hair often yet seem to get more attention from men when I do. They become curious.
met my husband of 30 years as a part time clerk in a healthfood store.
I’m an amateur dress historian (Victorian and Edwardian) during times when women were covered from their neck to their toes. They still attracted men with confidence, poise, personality, intellect and humor. It certainly can be done
Men, like me, are a contradiction of base and complex impulses. Generally we get past the base during an actual conversation. Try to break through that and wait them out. Almost all men have a base side. Some don’t. Erotically it is the base element that many women like in an appropriate context (like sexually).
Your wig- many men are attracted to beautiful hair! Why put them down for that?? My husband of 40 years prefers me in long hair even now grey BUT I wear it medium length. My hair is now very sparse. We will visit a wig store this week for my self esteem. This is my choice not at his request. – I was and am one of those women lucky with “turn the head” beauty from my face. I did not like the constant attention, but I was NEVER “disgusted” as you say, by it. BTW, I will get a topper hair piece not a wow model type hair wig. I hope you don’t deny a nice man for being attracted to your outer attributes as well as your personality. I also hope you don’t feel nudity and sex is to be done in the dark..
Why do you want a husband? A spouse is your lifelong companion. It’s about finding someone you connect with. It’s not like fishing where you just expose yourself and see what comes along to bite.
do you want the attention of guys who only want your body though?
Be brave.
Have good conversations, touch them briefly. Look into their eyes often, invite them to things (dinners etc to spend time with you), text them and appropriate amount (not so much like you’re a stalker but not so few times that he’s like wtf this woman doesn’t like me). Ask him things about himself.
Etc etc. There are plenty of things you can do to show a man you are interested.
Any man you attract with looks only is going to be shallow. You “attract” a man by being yourself, going out to meet people and seeing if anyone strikes your fancy. So yeah it’s less about attracting someone and more about getting to know people, and knowing yourself and kind of person you desire and deserve
My advice, the same advice I gave my own children, is to do the things you’d like to share with your future partner, go to the places you want to visit with your future partner, and spend your time being the kind of person your future partner would like to be with.
If you want a partner with a sense of community, then volunteer in your community. If you want a partner with a strong faith, spend time at the appropriate place of worship. If you want someone who likes to read, go to a library or a book store or volunteer at a book sharing place. If you want a partner who enjoys athletic activities, go to a climbing gym or a running track; if you want someone who shares your love of bowling, go to the bowling alley.
My advice is also to make a list of the attributes you seek. Make a list of the requirements and the deal-breakers. Once you have a solid vision of who your future partner is, you’ll have a much easier time finding him. If you are absolutely positive you don’t want a partner who indulges in alcohol, for example, don’t go looking for love in a club or a bar. If your future partner must be an atheist, you won’t find him in a church.
Don’t wait for some guy to notice you. Put in the work and find the partner you want. But first, read Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft so you’ll be able to recognize the red flags immediately; that way you’ll be able to weed out the undesirables right from the start.
Good luck!