I’ve been talking to this chick awhile. We’ve been getting hot and heavy lately. She’s on vacation right now and I’m watching her dogs (no problem) but she’s been playing this hot and cold game with me since she left. Doing some other things trying to provoke a reaction or chase from me… I’m not playing those games cause it feels childish and slightly annoying. How does it make yall feel (I can’t be the only one who feels this way)
How does it make you feel when a woman is trying to get you to “chase”?
r/AskMen
Comments
Too old for those games, I like a woman to be upfront about her feelings.
I move on
Like a 🐆 I got speed
Everyone wants to be desired and loved. She is giving you an opportunity.
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
I lose interest immediately. We’re not teenagers. Stop playing games. You want somebody? Tell them. If she acts distant or like she’s not interested, I’ll go to the next girl and see if she’s interested. Simple as
I cut it quick by attempting to speak to them like an adult. Where it goes from there it is entirely up to them. No one should make time for games from a grown woman, except for flirting or fun in the bedroom.
I don’t play hot and cold games. I also wouldn’t let someone use me to dog-sit while she goes on vacation when we have only been “talking for awhile.”
I fucking hate those games. Be an adult or I’m not wasting my time with you. Huge 🚩🚩🚩
If she’s playing games at this stage just move on. She likes attention and drama and I guarantee it will get worse. Or she’ll just string you along to get you to do more favors for her. I like the saying “when someone shows you their red flags, wave your white flag and peace out”
Just respect your feelings and guts dudee .. if you’re not interested then dump
Sometimes people do this because they like to play games, but I think most of the time it’s because they don’t know how to be direct. Also, as a very broad generalization, men and women communicate very differently. She may be seeing your actions or your responses as playing games.
If you think she’s interested and you’re also interested then straight up ask.
Teenagers do that stuff. Mature adults don’t.
That’s teenager shit. Find an adult.
I’m too high on autism to make that connection. “Welp, seems they’re not interested – Imma go paint some models and drink before they think Im some kinda stalker”
I have cards, board games, a console and my PC if I want to play games
lmao. I am immediately, permanently disinterested in her. Even if it wasn’t such a shitty thing to do, it sure is immature.
I usually just assume she’s not interested other than talking here and there, fooling around, but nothing serious
We don’t play those games around here
I wouldn’t even spend a second investing my time with some that is playing games.
I leave.
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Immediately exhausts me on the spot
You only have to go through a couple of those to their logical conclusion before you get burned out on the entire concept basically forever
I hope all the women who post asking why we don’t pursue them anymore reads this post.
Mate enjoy the dogs while she is away but when she is back, drop the key thru the door and dont waste your time, if she is running hot and cold she is probably riding another horse.
Quality relationships are all in, no games just feel right…. took me a long time to realise that but now no exceptions
The only thing I chase is a shot
If it’s not reciprocated, my energy gets directed elsewhere
You chase? I too once lacked self esteem and self respect. But I’m older and wiser now.
I’ve flat out told women who were trying to play those games “we aren’t compatible, I don’t chase” and then they get offended but also admit they were trying to make me jealous by posting pics on other dates.
So she’s keeping you interested just long enough to provide free dog-sitting.
Got it.
A woman like that is insecure. And looking to use you. A healthy attached person will reciprocate your effort and let you be a man and let you lead without playing hot and cold games.
Depends when the chase is, besides at a certain point the chase is just always the chase, then move on that’s what we call a tease.
If she wants games, give her games!
Tell her you dropped the dogs off at a shelter and then ghost her. When she rushes home she’ll be so excited to see you and her dogs there’ll be no more hot and cold. Just hot 😀
Disinterested and bored. I’m just glad I don’t have to worry about this stuff anymore.
I would refuse to play the game
Uninterested.
Like she’s going to be exhausted when she stops and turns around and I’m over there in the distance with someone who doesn’t play stupid games like we are still 14.
My missus never played games, that is one of the reasons (on a long list) she’s my missus.
I’m a poker player so I’m always evaluating the pot and pot odds and my hand equity and is it multiplayer pot or face up. It shouldn’t make you ‘feel’ anything, just evaluate it logically. You are probably dealing with just an amateurish fish-child but sometimes she’s a shrewd person.
If the pot odds and hand equity justify me chasing is worth it then I’ll reevaluate. If it’s multiplayer pot (at least one other guy chasing) it has to be slam dunk and I’m not playing.
If she did like me and evaluating me then she read wrong and raised the pot too high and I folded b/c the pot ain’t good enough and she read me wrong.
If her juice is worth the squeeze then perhaps. It’s an iterative process, if I read her range correctly and narrowed her hand correctly and I have equity then it’s Expected Value positive play to chase.
She’s basically making probing bets to see the strength of your hand and trying to tilt you.
She’s on vacation. Just go low contact
It feels childish and I don’t entertain it anymore. Can’t show me you’re interested? That’s fine, plenty of women out there who don’t play games.
Huge red flag, just move on.
I move on
Playing games is juvenile/immature
Annoyed, like I’m a dog and she’s dangling something above my head and when I reach she pulls back and redoes it so I reengage. Only thing is, unlike a dog, I lose interest in it pretty quick so it goes from “I can do this” to “I don’t care if I can do this or not, what I’m chasing isn’t worth the effort”.
From there, I just cutoff contact.
Why are you watching her dogs?
Not interested.
In this day and age, there is no chase. Women fervently urge men not to pursue when they have indicated they are not interested. This sometime on and sometime off behavior of hers is either uncertainty, or results from contact as a convenience.
I draw that last part from the fact that you’re watching her dogs, but you’re not in a relationship with her. Now maybe you’re the sort of guy who would do this for your friends, in which case fair enough, but I’d wager if you’re asking yourself this question, she might come and go based on whenever she might want you to do something for her.
Regardless of that last point, we’re not in the pursuit era. You need to make certain, verbally, that you’re each on like-terms for both yours and her safety. If you need to ease into or avoid this topic with her, it’s best not to assume there’s more to it.
edit: tldr, it would make me feel commoditized and toyed with
Uninterested
I bet if you started dating someone else her attitude would change real fast.
I would move on. I’m way old to be playing these stupid games.
Chasing is boring, she can get back to me when she decides to play Tag
You’re a free dog sitter… she’s having fun on vacation… not with you.
You’re right, it definitely is childish.
Stop chasing & move on. See if she’ll come after YOU. If not, then there’s your answer. If she does, time to make a moved, ask her out & end it.
I find it disrespectful and childish.
A woman trying to get me to chase her looks a lot like a woman who hates me.
I would ask her to sit down and talk with you about some things and tell her about your feelings openly and honestly and bring about the subject without pointing fingers. It’s important to try to reconcile the issues we face in relationships without immediately breaking up. It’s usually worth it to try and work it out – response from a fellow man
Like it’s time to find another woman
I’m too old for that shit.
I chase the compass direction pointing opposite of her.
Immediately uninterested.
Happened to me in the past. Never again. Fuck being the recipient of someone’s power trip because they feel the need to manipulate your feelings.
I don’t chase. Also don’t like to be chased.
Confused. Usually made me think she wasn’t interested.
We hate it and the ones who chase only do it because it’s the only way to actually find someone. It’s just childish, boring, and annoying.
It used to be cute.
How does it make her feel to be referred to as a chick? Sounds like you both have some growing up to do.
I’ve only had this happen once. She flirted super heavily but wasn’t interested really. Once I figured out she already had a boyfriend I just enjoyed the flirting for what it was and nothing more.
I recognize that she’s a game player and stop entirely. I won’t manipulate and I won’t be manipulated. Communicate your needs like an adult.
I’m a woman…… move on….thats it!
If she is willing to sit back and see whether I chase her, she isn’t into me enough to be worth chasing.
Why are you watching dogs for someone you aren’t dating?
High probability you’re getting played here my guy