I (20f) always kinda feel scared to give my insta or tik tok to someone who met me irl first, especially guys. Ive always been told that i look intimidating and have a rly bad rbf and that’s basically how i come off on social media but anyone who knows me knows that my personality is actually quite the opposite. I guess just I’m scared it might give them the ick or they might stare at a pic of me for too long and realize i’m actually less attractive than they thought. So i was just wondering if this is something that really does affect a guy’s perception of a girl he likes or if this has never really crossed your mind at all.
How has a girl’s social media impacted your attraction to her?
r/AskMen
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Wtf
This kind of paranoia and being constantly aware that your digital existence is being perceived and judged is exactly why I dont have social media.
It must fucking suck for your generation, no wonder anxiety is running rampant when you’re not only having to worry about how you come across to people in person but to everyone online at every minute of every day.
You gotta get out, as soon as you can.
Give your insta don’t give your insta. Make your decision based on if you want to or not, not if you think this guy will stare at your pics for hours.
From my perspective if a woman gives me her insta or TikTok instead of her number I think she’s just looking for validation instead of a real commitment.
But if you’re afraid of RBF, then just smile and show a sweeter side of you. Everyone is a lot more attractive when they smile, especially genuinely.
Look, unless you’re getting paid to take photos on insta or tiktok. You should be posting everything got you. Regardless the photos. I was getting paid little bits of money on TikTok during Covid where I went viral but I stopped cause that many followers freaked me out. As far as instagram I post everything as an underlying truth of who I am.
So don’t be embarrassed or scared. If someone judges YOU on your social media where to be honest no one posts there true lives on there. Then bye bye to them.
Rather than looks, you would probably want to look at what messages you are sending on your personal media. Are you showing yourself off in very little clothes, do you gossip about your exes, does your media page look like you are a shopping addict or are you sending generalizing statements that are attention grabbing ragebait?
Those things will turn off guys probably more than you not looking like taking a selfie isn’t the most exciting thing in the world (i.e. “having rbf”)
Ultimately, I would say try to keep your online persona “real”. If you IRL are vastly different from what you portay yourself as online, this will cause unnecessary misunderstandings about who they are getting involved with.
You’re insecurities are all in your head.
The first thing I’m looking for is if you’re dressing provocatively on there.
Next, what kind of things do you post about. This helps me understand what you’re interested in the most or what you value.
After that, I already like you, which is why I get your social media info, so I must be looking at how pretty you are.
I mean why would you have this concern if let’s say one becomes your bf then you start taking pictures together?
I love looking at my gf but more so in person+pictures we’ve taken together from memories made. Her page is more travel themed really while mine is about my interests too
Also I assume youre not literally posting pictures of said rbf, so I think you’re fine
It impacted me quite a bit, but not in the way you’d think. I couldn’t care less about how a woman looks online, but the stuff she posts can really turn me off. For example, if she posts things like “certified man hater” or “men in this generation all want princess treatment 💅,” that’s an instant turn-off. It makes me want nothing to do with her. I actually knew someone in my class who posted stuff like that. Honestly, not being chronically online is a green flag these days. It’s not even about “disagreeing” with them — it’s the fact that stuff like that screams performative bitterness, like they’ve made TikTok their therapist. I don’t want to date someone who’s always in a digital echo chamber validating their worst takes. That kind of content tells me more about their mindset than any selfie ever could. If your personality online revolves around hating the opposite gender or chasing clout through fake hot takes, I’m out. I’d rather be with someone lowkey, grounded, and not addicted to internet culture.
The way I see it the less insta or other social media the better. My gf has instagram but I dont and I wont bother looking at her posts anyways because social media is a complete waste of time.
The less the better, end thread.
I judge more on their relationship with it and yours doesn’t sound so healthy
I prefer women without it
I can only really point to a couple of times a girl’s social media has impacted my attraction to her.
The first time was when I went to add a girl. I’d been on a couple of dates with. I spotted an OF link in her bio (she did not mention it once during dates). If a girl wants to do OF, that’s her business. But not for me, TBH.
The second time was I’d been on a coffee date with a girl I’d met at a house party. Seen her on ‘friends you may know’ section on FB. Though oh, cool, I’ll add her. I discovered she was engaged. Before anyone tries to tell me, some people do that as a technique to ward off creeps or something. Her profile was public and she’d posted a very recent photo captioned, out with the fiancé. Safe to say, that changed my attraction to her.
But as long as you’re not posting, selifies from your time with the satanic church. And just the normal everyday stuff it doesn’t really affect how I see a girl.
If I open up a social media account of a woman and it has posts that can be interpreted as misandry, antisemitism or other hateful ideologies then yes, her social media will impact her image, yes.
Things like thirst traps, only fans links, farming external validation on social media or just caring too much about social media in general is what gives a negative impact.
Whether you’re smiling or have a resting bitch face is not what guys are concerned about.
I find that most women will talk themselves out of my being interested in them. I do look at their social media when I am vetting them. As a busy professional I find I can’t keep up with multiple social media platforms. Facebook is all I do because it’s the one app where family and friends are.
If your intention is to find someone to be with, then they’re eventually going to look at you long enough to have made the decision to leave you anyway, so what difference does it make? I’ll never understand people who somehow think that they can fool other people by presenting themselves in a curated way. They’re gonna find out ANYWAY, so unless your angle is to hope that you get some free food and drinks out of the relationship, why hide anything?
Ya really have to weep for the younger generation. Social media has made them all batshit crazy.
I’m definitely a bit put off if a girls social media is super narcissistic looking. If it’s just casual photos or goofy, I feel the opposite.
But this is also through using dating apps. When I meet someone in person and we exchange socials, we’ve already met in person, so I end up seeing it less harshly.
Regardless it’s a really superficial view of who we are, whether it’s funny and playful or trying to present a completely fabricated reality.
I wouldn’t worry too much because if you have a good vibe already and good banter, it shouldn’t be too big of an issue.
The only time I care about a girl’s social media is when she cares about it too much.
I don’t use anything, my last girlfriend had to make an instagram account for me so she could send me memes and gift ideas, I haven’t used it once since we broke up.
If you’re taking pics of what we’re doing, eating, places you’ve been that’s cool, I really don’t mind. But if you’re taking 50 pics and spending two hours trying to find the best pic and posing everything in your real life to make your online one seem more interesting it really seems to me like you’re missing the point of living life.
Honestly, it all just boils down whether you like the girl or not. The girl I like right now, a lot of the things she like, which of course kind of makes up for what she has on her social media, are things that aren’t really ones that I would ever consider liking on my own.
Weirdly enough I never found any woman who tells me that she looks intimidating actually intimidating
If I see her social media and she is showing skin for attention… I’m out.
Nothing you mentioned would matter to me. Here’s what turns me off of a woman based on her social media:
– Photos are always heavily edited
– She’s the only one ever in her photos/almost all of them are selfies
– She’s never actually doing anything in any of her photos (at least give the appearance you go out and do stuff
– Every photo is obviously posed
– If I know a woman has/had a boyfriend/husband but he’s never in any photos