Used to be that it was the cool and exciting part of a relationship. Now I realize that it’s still cool and exciting, but also a key component of relationship closeness. If my fiancée and I go without it for a while (work is stressful, sickness, etc) we don’t feel quite as physically bonded and that’s remedied immediately after sex.
I used to just want sex, my horny younger self just wanted to be touched, but now I want to be love and feel seen while having sex. I now seek a deeper connection
Want it more and slowed down and totally focused and the wo.an and want to get them off harder and more times instead of getting mine now only concerned how big and many squirting orgasms I can cause!
I used to see it as something fun everyone enjoyed.
Now i see it as something thats incredibly important for bonding in a long term relationship.
Ive also learnt from myself and other through conversation how men and women use it/ want it differently as time goes on. Which makes things difficult and ruins relationships
It’s no longer a necessary component of an intimate relationship. Sex is fun and all but our bodies will grow old and it won’t matter anymore. I’ve fallen in love with a girl that’s not very sexual and because of that I thought she wasn’t for me. But that sentiment changes when a certain bond is developed, when you come close to losing them, and when you realise what you have. Sex is secondary to companionship, understanding, love and shared memories.
I honestly don’t care about it anymore. I could easily live life without it but that’s not good for your prostate I gather. It’s become a mandatory weekly exercise for the purpose of emptying our cum.
Ive gone from viewing it as something superficial that didn’t matter much, didn’t have to mean something for a relationship, to now viewing it as the physical embodiment of love and something only to be done when there’s a deep connection between the two people involved.
While sex is a fundamental drive rooted in biology (hormones and age), it’s been over exploited socially.
Much of what we think we like about sex comes through social learning. People learn behaviors and attitudes by observing them in others, including media (TV,movies, music,ads, etc.). If sex is consistently portrayed as exciting, central to happiness, or a key to social status, individuals might internalize these messages.
Your sexual desires may not be real, but a result of social grooming.
I realized what sex drive actually is and no, the light crushes on guys and my hopeless romanticism as a kid/teen was not it, and people were not exaggerating when they said it was magnetic or like fire.
It just took me ages to realize it because I only looked at guys.
Just how important compatability is. I lived with two dead bedroom relationships.
At 39, I won’t even entertain anyone if the compatability is not there. I don’t care how long I’ve been single, how long the dry spell has been. It doesn’t matter. If there is no compatability, there will be no sex or relationship.
It’s not worth it allowing just anyone in for sex.
Sex is 50% of a relationship/marriage for me. It’s extremely important.
I used to massively undervalue how important it was to people in a relationship largely due to being uncomfortable with the concept (and therefore having very few conversations about it). Largely, this was bought on my how disrespectful a lot of people tended to be in talking about it, and I therefore carried unhealthy connotations into my first relationship.
And while I’ve since changed my views, some of that experience of being uncomfortable yet remains.
Yea. I need to build a some facet of a relationship now in order to have sex. I haven’t felt right fucking strangers since my first time dropping tabs when I was 23
I care much more about my partner’s pleasure than my own. Its much more of an experience than just a simple act of trying to climax. There’s much more respect for each other and our needs than what I’ve had when I was younger.
Sex physically is boring it’s just your dick going in and out of a warm, wet hole. Like yeah it feels good but after enough bodies they all start to feel the same and that’s when you realise sex is boring and pointless unless you’re doing it with somebody you love. I used to love casual sex, I’d be at the club every weekend looking to meet new people. Now it’s just me and my girl and even if we split up I could never go back to that. Sex is boring, being in love with your partner and wanting to make them feel good is what makes it fun/enjoyable for me personally.
23M here
After my first breakup a week ago I understood how it’s not that important for me as it was before. I can’t imagine me touching other girls now if it’s not real love. It seems so fake, so ugly and so not emotional and shallow. Not even talking post nut clarity that will hit me with “wow loser, congratulations, now find true love”
While it’s less important for a relationship than I used to view it, like I don’t necessarily need it all the time to be happy with who I’m with, I’ve also come to crave it, just in general, so damn much more lol
When I was a kid I saw 2 flies stuck together on the car window and I said “daddy why are those two flies stuck together?” And so he sighed a deep sigh and told me the facts of life (I was 4) after which I proclaimed: “EUGH! IM NEVER DOING THAT” Anyway, suffice to say, it’s one of my favourite past times now. That and watching Curb Your Enthusiasm whilst smoking pot.
It hasn’t changed much since I was 17 or 18. Then, I viewed it as a morally neutral but in some ways risky thing you can do for enjoyment with consenting adult partners. Now I view it as a morally neutral but in some ways risky thing you can do for enjoyment with consenting adult partners.
When I was a teenager, I believed it to be something between two people that loved each other in like a marriage or something, in my college days I was very open with sex and hooked up a lot, now in my 30s I’m more like a Demi sexual seeing it important to have a connection with sex and meaningless sex is not something I want
Before, my view used to be all head board, or mental. Now, I put my leg up on the headboard and hang my head down so I can get a better view of the action.
Yep. When I was younger, sex was just sex, something fun. but as I’ve gotten older, sex has become extremely important to me in a relationship. I see it as the most intimate way to bond with someone.
Used to be something I did in a desperate sort of bid for attention or validation. I liked it but it was one hundred percent just to know I was wanted and could be loved.
Now it’s more like something I do for the enjoyment of everyone involved. My own validation isn’t part of the equation.
I always knew I was a sexual person and was eager to have sex before I had it, but what I didn’t expect was the whole emotional journey that one goes on when they discover that part of themselves. I used to think of it as a need, and if I’m dating someone, yes, it’s important to me in a relationship. But I look at it differently now.
My body count isn’t crazy high, I’ve slept with maybe 11+ people in the past 10 years since I lost my virginity, but as I’ve learned more about my sexuality, I realized it’s more about the connection you have with the other person. I don’t necessarily care if I get my dick wet, but the before and after care? That’s what I yearn for the most. I think it’s in these moments all your barriers drop down, and you become truly vulnerable.
If you can connect with someone when you’re in that space, you’ve found a good one. Hold on to that person and don’t let go – they’re going to be there when you need them.
I wish I hadn’t followed the “rules” for young girls so much when I was a young woman. I live as men thought I should. I should never have fallen for that bs.
Staying healthy is tremendously important. Following men’s rules, just because they couldn’t control themselves is bs.
I was a horndog in my late teens’ early 20s. Then I grew up and got some therapy. Spent some time by myself and realized I really don’t like sex i like romance, and sex was how to keep people around. (Agian, therapy) came out as ace a few years ago.
Sex isn’t about “nailing as many chicks as possible”, it’s about finding someone who respects you and you feel comfortable with and vise versa sharing an intimate experience.
when I was a teenager I didn’t want to have sex but thought to myself “i’ll have to do it eventually or else they’ll leave.” I never did. I got cheated on, dumped, but stood my ground. I don’t think that way anymore, it’s ridiculous, and It’s something i’m proud of myself for waiting for
I(18m) have had a couple partners and at first I thought it was like a task/objective and the pleasure came naturally. Like you focused on pleasing your partner(s) to the best of your ability and they do the same. That resulted in being sexually frustrated & not wanting it at all.
Now I realize the importance of picking a good partner, then doing your best to please them. But I also learned I care just as much if not more about the sensual but not sexual intimacy (i.e. cuddling, holding hands, kissing, massages, etc..). I’ve learned I like to feel wanted before I feel sexual.
I had an extremely negative view of sex for a long time because of my ex. Sex was always something that was treated as a thing I “owed” her (and she would absolutely deny that but I know what I lived through). It was exacerbated by the fact that she, a transwoman with fully functioning testicles, had ZERO concern for my reproductive health. She would SCREAM at and accuse me of all kinds of things if I was ever stressed about my period being late. God forbid I took a pregnancy test.
I’m better now. I’m not in a relationship but I don’t do casual sex either. It feels crass to say, but I do have one FWB. I really enjoy being physical with them but I also love just spending time with them. I’m not sure if I would still enjoy the physical aspect if we were more than friends though. I feel like it would bring out all of the issues I had with my ex and I’d go back to hating sex.
I used to think sex was an awful thing that only caused relationship issues as one person was bound to have a higher sex drive than the other. I thought it was a tool to get things you want out of the other person, and if you didn’t give it to them you were basically saying goodbye to your relationship. I avoided relationships because I didn’t want to be used for sex.
However, after being with my wife for a while I’ve matured and I’ve realized sex can be used to help create intimacy, it’s okay to say no and as long as you communicate your relationship is not doomed because of sex. We have an amazing sex life.
My mother was not a great example at what sex was supposed to be like. I unfortunately had to overhear too many arguments and screaming matches over that topic growing up. Still though, I think if me and my wife ever break up I’m not getting with anyone else because I just don’t trust people enough.
I used to think if you have amazing sexual chemistry than chemistry outside the bedroom must be just as intense.
Turns out I was very wrong. You can have pretty good sex with someone you just met and it does get better with time and intimacy but it is not an accurate reflection of the actual intimacy within a relationship.
It’s hot, it’s silly, it’s fun. I wish I hadn’t been so hung up on it when young. I also think it was a blessing that I didn’t have sex when in high school. It’s powerful stuff.
As a teen/early-20s, non-existent. I had a lot of self-esteem issues and medical issues, as well as overprotective parents so I always held back on pursuing it. It was a strange thing that seemed natural for everyone except for me.
In my 20s, I prioritized perusing long term relationship. There were a couple, but they were with people who I was sexually incompatible with. I was willing to make compromises and sacrifices to maintain the relationships, but they never worked out.
Now in my 30s, a healthy sex life is a top priority. I’ve figured out my life so I don’t have low self esteem anymore, and I’ve made too many compromises for other people who just kicked me to the curb anyway. I want to have fun with a person or people who love sex just as much as I do.
Once I realized I was actually expected to have it and it wasn’t the nebulous concept I was treating it as growing up, I had to deal with that, but I’m okay now.
20 years ago I just wanted a warm hole, any woman who was willing to anytime anywhere.
Now it’s more about the quality of the sex. I have been with the love of my life for about 10 years, and she knows if I give her the look… get dressed, stockings, heels, short skirt, and we are not doing it in the bedroom. Honestly don’t think I’ve had sex in a bed in years. We have sex about 2 to 3 times a week, and if all she is offering is a “warm hole” I’ll smack her ass and tell her to be more prepared tomorrow.
As a guy, I used to think being dominant (in dom-sub sex play) meant being the one in charge, but it really doesn’t, at least not in the way seemingly every other straight male thinks.
The Dom influences pacing and intensity, but it’s the sub who establishes boundaries. The best Dom/sub dynamic is when a sub can say, “Always do this, sometimes do that, NEVER do this other thing.” They’re essentially drawing out the dimensions of the play space, like a sandbox with toys, and then giving consent to the Dom to lead play within that space.
Doms have boundaries too, and a truly balanced dynamic means both feel equally powerful. It just helped me respond to my partners a lot better when I would tell myself, “The sub is in charge.” My sub partners have been happier and sex has been way more exciting!
Completely. I went from a near two decades long monogamous relationship, to a year of casual dating and am currently seeing three different people. (They all know about each other, open communication is non negotiable.)
Everyone does it and it’s mainly why we do the things we do at all times. Everything goes back to our biological desire to live and be sexually aroused.
It doesn’t matter how long it last ! My husband was always worried about that and if done right it doesn’t need to be for an hour or 2. I’m satisfied with 5 minutes .
Undoubtedly, I use to think of it as about me which I think was kinda selfish, but I know view it as more about the other person. Focusing on mutual pleasure should make for a more positive experience imo
I’ve come to realize that I don’t care much for intercourse itself. I don’t enjoy sex for the physical release itself, and it’s difficult for me to finish during it anyway. I enjoy it psychologically. I like being desired by someone else and making them feel desired. Foreplay, teasing, and going down on a woman are the most enjoyable parts.
I craved, and still kind of do, the attention of being wanted rather than actual sex. I was raped and abused growing up with a mother who made it very clear that if you aren’t perfect or hot, you’re not worth time. So, as I got to be a teenager, I would always seek validation through sex or selling myself through sex. Now, I realize it’s a problem, and I believe I don’t care for sex at all.
When i was younger it was as often as I could. Any chance we could. Back to back (and more sometimes) just the physical action.
Now, knowing her the way I do and vice versa. It is about that edge of excitement. It’s about the build to the end and not the race to it. It is about making it all feel great until its too much and then the release and collapse.
I would trade 1 time now for 20 of the times in my youth in terms of enjoyment.
(straight/M) Actually, for me it’s become more realistic, but not in the way you’d think.
Girls have pressured me to give them anal. I didn’t like doing it.
Media has told me that all women want is oral and fingering. I did this, gave the great orgasms. BUT, I later met women who prefer and would rather orgasm through intercourse.
So here I am, a guy who is very experienced in providing oral and fingering to women, but married to a wife who only wants missionary, penetrative sex, and orgasms easily from it.
I used to think it was really gross, then thought of it as an obligation, now I think I could have it if that’s what my partner wants but it’s not something I would initiate and I could honestly live without it.
Comments
yes It’s gone from the best 10 seconds of my life to the best 12 seconds
I became more open to everything new) I’m not afraid to try something
not much still as horny and hungry then when i was a teen .
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Used to be that it was the cool and exciting part of a relationship. Now I realize that it’s still cool and exciting, but also a key component of relationship closeness. If my fiancée and I go without it for a while (work is stressful, sickness, etc) we don’t feel quite as physically bonded and that’s remedied immediately after sex.
It gets better or, worse lmao
Less obsessed with it for one thing. Pickier about who I’d do it with maybe.
Definitely gotten better. Relaxed more and stopped worrying so much. And learned a lot more to make myself better.
Didn’t realise I was using the wrong durex until I was about 30. So many bad performances in my 20s.
I used to just want sex, my horny younger self just wanted to be touched, but now I want to be love and feel seen while having sex. I now seek a deeper connection
Want it more and slowed down and totally focused and the wo.an and want to get them off harder and more times instead of getting mine now only concerned how big and many squirting orgasms I can cause!
Size doesn’t matter as much as knowing how to use all the tools at your disposal.
I used to see it as something fun everyone enjoyed.
Now i see it as something thats incredibly important for bonding in a long term relationship.
Ive also learnt from myself and other through conversation how men and women use it/ want it differently as time goes on. Which makes things difficult and ruins relationships
It’s not the same, but now I can multitask and not be hyper focused on lasting more than 12 seconds.
as corny as it sounds, it honestly feel much better if you love each other
sometimes no matter how “good” someone is, it doesn’t feel as great cause you don’t feel anything for them
It’s no longer a necessary component of an intimate relationship. Sex is fun and all but our bodies will grow old and it won’t matter anymore. I’ve fallen in love with a girl that’s not very sexual and because of that I thought she wasn’t for me. But that sentiment changes when a certain bond is developed, when you come close to losing them, and when you realise what you have. Sex is secondary to companionship, understanding, love and shared memories.
Used to be all I thought about
Now I don’t care at all. Maybe just a me thing.
At 15: wow cool. Surely I’ll get it one day!
At 29: wow cool. Surely I’ll get it one day!
Not much has changed. I guess i am more open to non-straight sex, but that doesn’t change much
It is still the same for me I can take it or leave it
I see it as a distraction as time goes on … really takes me out of the lock in mood
Video quality has improved…
If I were single again and lonely it would be a lot more bearable.
I don’t regret it, but I definitely see sex as a trick to get you to have kids now hah
Like many other things, it just became another thing to take care off.
Sex CAN be great, but most of the time it’s just a bit meh
There’s different views. There’s the marriage one and theres the in a relationship one. Two different views
I honestly don’t care about it anymore. I could easily live life without it but that’s not good for your prostate I gather. It’s become a mandatory weekly exercise for the purpose of emptying our cum.
Ive gone from viewing it as something superficial that didn’t matter much, didn’t have to mean something for a relationship, to now viewing it as the physical embodiment of love and something only to be done when there’s a deep connection between the two people involved.
A thing to enjoyment to a importent tools to be creative, self-confidence,self- steem, successful.
The anticipation is always better
People disagree, but for me I enjoy sex more with someone I’m in love with. I get my feelings hurt with casual sex and no true relationship
As a woman, just find someone who’s more experienced and/or older. It saves a lot of heartache and frustration lol
3 times a day to 1 every 3+ weeks. Getting old sucks.
While sex is a fundamental drive rooted in biology (hormones and age), it’s been over exploited socially.
Much of what we think we like about sex comes through social learning. People learn behaviors and attitudes by observing them in others, including media (TV,movies, music,ads, etc.). If sex is consistently portrayed as exciting, central to happiness, or a key to social status, individuals might internalize these messages.
Your sexual desires may not be real, but a result of social grooming.
Quality not quantity
(or should I say quan-titty 🍈🍈)
I realized what sex drive actually is and no, the light crushes on guys and my hopeless romanticism as a kid/teen was not it, and people were not exaggerating when they said it was magnetic or like fire.
It just took me ages to realize it because I only looked at guys.
1st it was seen through the windshield, now it’s in the rearview mirror
Sex is everything in a relationship. Its like the engine to a car. 29 yo
Sex with a person that you have an emotional connection with is far more satisfying and important than physical attractiveness.
Just how important compatability is. I lived with two dead bedroom relationships.
At 39, I won’t even entertain anyone if the compatability is not there. I don’t care how long I’ve been single, how long the dry spell has been. It doesn’t matter. If there is no compatability, there will be no sex or relationship.
It’s not worth it allowing just anyone in for sex.
Sex is 50% of a relationship/marriage for me. It’s extremely important.
I’m definitely more into sex now that a truly know what I like and how I like it. I’m also more comfortable with it in every way.
Who says I’ve matured? I’ve merely gotten older.
I’ve always like my sex like my coffee
In my teens I wanted it as quick as possible, Instant was best
In my 30s I liked to experiment with slow preparationfor a dark and rich experience
In my 50s I’ve got some right here by the side of me and I forgot about it and it’s gone cold.
/jk
Weirdly its gotten way way better. Im 36f and the hormones are telling me bitch hurry up and have a kid.
Communicating with your partner. finding out what their kinks are instead of just laying pipe, making her cum first.
I used to think “something you do on bdays” but know I just can’t get enough of it.
Completely unchanged.
Still getting laid. Still fun. Only now, there’s more communication between myself and my partner and we are in more positions.
I’ve gotten more vanilla and more selective, so less sex 😂
Long sighted now, so it’s glasses on for me for the closeup parts.
I used to massively undervalue how important it was to people in a relationship largely due to being uncomfortable with the concept (and therefore having very few conversations about it). Largely, this was bought on my how disrespectful a lot of people tended to be in talking about it, and I therefore carried unhealthy connotations into my first relationship.
And while I’ve since changed my views, some of that experience of being uncomfortable yet remains.
it was amazing and fun until you gave me a baby
I’ve grown to care more for sex rather than love.
Yea. I need to build a some facet of a relationship now in order to have sex. I haven’t felt right fucking strangers since my first time dropping tabs when I was 23
It was really fun when i was a teen. it’s still really fun now.
I care much more about my partner’s pleasure than my own. Its much more of an experience than just a simple act of trying to climax. There’s much more respect for each other and our needs than what I’ve had when I was younger.
Sex physically is boring it’s just your dick going in and out of a warm, wet hole. Like yeah it feels good but after enough bodies they all start to feel the same and that’s when you realise sex is boring and pointless unless you’re doing it with somebody you love. I used to love casual sex, I’d be at the club every weekend looking to meet new people. Now it’s just me and my girl and even if we split up I could never go back to that. Sex is boring, being in love with your partner and wanting to make them feel good is what makes it fun/enjoyable for me personally.
You don’t have to actually put it in if both of you end up with an orgasm in the end. More relaxing and still satisfying.
23M here
After my first breakup a week ago I understood how it’s not that important for me as it was before. I can’t imagine me touching other girls now if it’s not real love. It seems so fake, so ugly and so not emotional and shallow. Not even talking post nut clarity that will hit me with “wow loser, congratulations, now find true love”
Like, I could’ve just used my right arm…
While it’s less important for a relationship than I used to view it, like I don’t necessarily need it all the time to be happy with who I’m with, I’ve also come to crave it, just in general, so damn much more lol
Quality > quantity – 100%
When I was a kid I saw 2 flies stuck together on the car window and I said “daddy why are those two flies stuck together?” And so he sighed a deep sigh and told me the facts of life (I was 4) after which I proclaimed: “EUGH! IM NEVER DOING THAT” Anyway, suffice to say, it’s one of my favourite past times now. That and watching Curb Your Enthusiasm whilst smoking pot.
It hasn’t changed much since I was 17 or 18. Then, I viewed it as a morally neutral but in some ways risky thing you can do for enjoyment with consenting adult partners. Now I view it as a morally neutral but in some ways risky thing you can do for enjoyment with consenting adult partners.
Connection and communication are more important than
I lost interest in one night stands, i’m almost 40.
I feel like hook ups are boring.
I’ve come to view it as just sex. It’s fun and hot and it doesn’t need to be this big deal.
When I was a teenager, I believed it to be something between two people that loved each other in like a marriage or something, in my college days I was very open with sex and hooked up a lot, now in my 30s I’m more like a Demi sexual seeing it important to have a connection with sex and meaningless sex is not something I want
Intimate sex and sex with a stranger are viewed very differently by me from how they used to be.
My sexuality used to revolve around stimulation and completion, whereas it now revolves around affection.
That is how I was nurtured vs how I nurtured myself. I find a lot more enjoyment from it nowadays.
A friend of mine liked to slightly misquote Bukowski: Sex and money are not important, but only as long as you have enough.
It’s true is what I learned.
Having a homemade snack after sex and some cuddles is amazing.
Before, my view used to be all head board, or mental. Now, I put my leg up on the headboard and hang my head down so I can get a better view of the action.
Yep. When I was younger, sex was just sex, something fun. but as I’ve gotten older, sex has become extremely important to me in a relationship. I see it as the most intimate way to bond with someone.
I hate it, I’ve always hated it, I just don’t care about being alone anymore . Happy not being fondled
Used to be something I did in a desperate sort of bid for attention or validation. I liked it but it was one hundred percent just to know I was wanted and could be loved.
Now it’s more like something I do for the enjoyment of everyone involved. My own validation isn’t part of the equation.
I always knew I was a sexual person and was eager to have sex before I had it, but what I didn’t expect was the whole emotional journey that one goes on when they discover that part of themselves. I used to think of it as a need, and if I’m dating someone, yes, it’s important to me in a relationship. But I look at it differently now.
My body count isn’t crazy high, I’ve slept with maybe 11+ people in the past 10 years since I lost my virginity, but as I’ve learned more about my sexuality, I realized it’s more about the connection you have with the other person. I don’t necessarily care if I get my dick wet, but the before and after care? That’s what I yearn for the most. I think it’s in these moments all your barriers drop down, and you become truly vulnerable.
If you can connect with someone when you’re in that space, you’ve found a good one. Hold on to that person and don’t let go – they’re going to be there when you need them.
I would like to have it more but it isn’t necessary for my growth
I wish I hadn’t followed the “rules” for young girls so much when I was a young woman. I live as men thought I should. I should never have fallen for that bs.
Staying healthy is tremendously important. Following men’s rules, just because they couldn’t control themselves is bs.
I was a horndog in my late teens’ early 20s. Then I grew up and got some therapy. Spent some time by myself and realized I really don’t like sex i like romance, and sex was how to keep people around. (Agian, therapy) came out as ace a few years ago.
Life is constant discovery. Be happy. Be honest.
It used to be only on my back and looking up but now it’s many positions that let’s me have many POVs.
Sex isn’t about “nailing as many chicks as possible”, it’s about finding someone who respects you and you feel comfortable with and vise versa sharing an intimate experience.
when I was a teenager I didn’t want to have sex but thought to myself “i’ll have to do it eventually or else they’ll leave.” I never did. I got cheated on, dumped, but stood my ground. I don’t think that way anymore, it’s ridiculous, and It’s something i’m proud of myself for waiting for
Overrated and boring
I don’t care for it. My relationship might be on the ropes…
God was right.
Earlier i used to think its fun, but now i feel its something sacred and should be done with the person you really love.
I need it less, and it’s more about connecting than about the release.
I(18m) have had a couple partners and at first I thought it was like a task/objective and the pleasure came naturally. Like you focused on pleasing your partner(s) to the best of your ability and they do the same. That resulted in being sexually frustrated & not wanting it at all.
Now I realize the importance of picking a good partner, then doing your best to please them. But I also learned I care just as much if not more about the sensual but not sexual intimacy (i.e. cuddling, holding hands, kissing, massages, etc..). I’ve learned I like to feel wanted before I feel sexual.
I used to view it as very sacred. I still think it is, but maybe not as much as I believed growing up.
I had an extremely negative view of sex for a long time because of my ex. Sex was always something that was treated as a thing I “owed” her (and she would absolutely deny that but I know what I lived through). It was exacerbated by the fact that she, a transwoman with fully functioning testicles, had ZERO concern for my reproductive health. She would SCREAM at and accuse me of all kinds of things if I was ever stressed about my period being late. God forbid I took a pregnancy test.
I’m better now. I’m not in a relationship but I don’t do casual sex either. It feels crass to say, but I do have one FWB. I really enjoy being physical with them but I also love just spending time with them. I’m not sure if I would still enjoy the physical aspect if we were more than friends though. I feel like it would bring out all of the issues I had with my ex and I’d go back to hating sex.
That it’s overrated. I rather just do head
I used to think sex was an awful thing that only caused relationship issues as one person was bound to have a higher sex drive than the other. I thought it was a tool to get things you want out of the other person, and if you didn’t give it to them you were basically saying goodbye to your relationship. I avoided relationships because I didn’t want to be used for sex.
However, after being with my wife for a while I’ve matured and I’ve realized sex can be used to help create intimacy, it’s okay to say no and as long as you communicate your relationship is not doomed because of sex. We have an amazing sex life.
My mother was not a great example at what sex was supposed to be like. I unfortunately had to overhear too many arguments and screaming matches over that topic growing up. Still though, I think if me and my wife ever break up I’m not getting with anyone else because I just don’t trust people enough.
I used to think if you have amazing sexual chemistry than chemistry outside the bedroom must be just as intense.
Turns out I was very wrong. You can have pretty good sex with someone you just met and it does get better with time and intimacy but it is not an accurate reflection of the actual intimacy within a relationship.
It’s hot, it’s silly, it’s fun. I wish I hadn’t been so hung up on it when young. I also think it was a blessing that I didn’t have sex when in high school. It’s powerful stuff.
It’s not worth it if you don’t love the person.
As a teen/early-20s, non-existent. I had a lot of self-esteem issues and medical issues, as well as overprotective parents so I always held back on pursuing it. It was a strange thing that seemed natural for everyone except for me.
In my 20s, I prioritized perusing long term relationship. There were a couple, but they were with people who I was sexually incompatible with. I was willing to make compromises and sacrifices to maintain the relationships, but they never worked out.
Now in my 30s, a healthy sex life is a top priority. I’ve figured out my life so I don’t have low self esteem anymore, and I’ve made too many compromises for other people who just kicked me to the curb anyway. I want to have fun with a person or people who love sex just as much as I do.
Once I realized I was actually expected to have it and it wasn’t the nebulous concept I was treating it as growing up, I had to deal with that, but I’m okay now.
I was a horny little kid if it moved I tried to stick it in now I’m a drug addict with 0 want to screw anything!! Probably a blessing to the word lol
64 yr old female here. Hornier than I’ve ever been and having the best sex that I’ve ever had.
One of the joys of life – even at 80!
It’s definitely more about quality over quantity.
20 years ago I just wanted a warm hole, any woman who was willing to anytime anywhere.
Now it’s more about the quality of the sex. I have been with the love of my life for about 10 years, and she knows if I give her the look… get dressed, stockings, heels, short skirt, and we are not doing it in the bedroom. Honestly don’t think I’ve had sex in a bed in years. We have sex about 2 to 3 times a week, and if all she is offering is a “warm hole” I’ll smack her ass and tell her to be more prepared tomorrow.
It’s no longer just sex it’s a point of view with my partner that i can’t change it’s intimacy but its love at the same time
As a guy, I used to think being dominant (in dom-sub sex play) meant being the one in charge, but it really doesn’t, at least not in the way seemingly every other straight male thinks.
The Dom influences pacing and intensity, but it’s the sub who establishes boundaries. The best Dom/sub dynamic is when a sub can say, “Always do this, sometimes do that, NEVER do this other thing.” They’re essentially drawing out the dimensions of the play space, like a sandbox with toys, and then giving consent to the Dom to lead play within that space.
Doms have boundaries too, and a truly balanced dynamic means both feel equally powerful. It just helped me respond to my partners a lot better when I would tell myself, “The sub is in charge.” My sub partners have been happier and sex has been way more exciting!
Completely. I went from a near two decades long monogamous relationship, to a year of casual dating and am currently seeing three different people. (They all know about each other, open communication is non negotiable.)
Everyone does it and it’s mainly why we do the things we do at all times. Everything goes back to our biological desire to live and be sexually aroused.
Sex funny
I’d rather be sober than under the influence of alcohol while having sex. I used prefer the opposite.
Same way I see drinking, love it but if you said no, not today, I wouldn’t be upset. I’ll just carry on with my day
It doesn’t matter how long it last ! My husband was always worried about that and if done right it doesn’t need to be for an hour or 2. I’m satisfied with 5 minutes .
Undoubtedly, I use to think of it as about me which I think was kinda selfish, but I know view it as more about the other person. Focusing on mutual pleasure should make for a more positive experience imo
I’ve come to realize that I don’t care much for intercourse itself. I don’t enjoy sex for the physical release itself, and it’s difficult for me to finish during it anyway. I enjoy it psychologically. I like being desired by someone else and making them feel desired. Foreplay, teasing, and going down on a woman are the most enjoyable parts.
It hasn’t at all, I still believe sex doesn’t exist
It’s sacred
I craved, and still kind of do, the attention of being wanted rather than actual sex. I was raped and abused growing up with a mother who made it very clear that if you aren’t perfect or hot, you’re not worth time. So, as I got to be a teenager, I would always seek validation through sex or selling myself through sex. Now, I realize it’s a problem, and I believe I don’t care for sex at all.
I’m at the stage where you never waste a boner and never trust a fart.
I’m still too immature to care I’d rather stay up late eating icecream watching cartoons than spending my time on sex
Sex.? What’s that?
I’ve learned to appreciate the subtle nuances in the flavor of a hot broad’s asshole
More mindful, intentional, want an emotional connection.
Better communication with partner, mutual interest in pleasuring each other developed.
i used to think it was cool, but now i don’t think it’s worth the risk of pregnancy (no matter how small).
I don’t care about it anymore. Being left alone > sex.
Its important for men to have and being “happy and sexless” is huge cope (for the most part.)
It isn’t what u think or what the movies make it seem. SAVE YOURSELF FOR MARRIAGE. You will not regret it.
(Sometimes self pleasure feels better)
The desire never stops. The ability to enjoy the experience however does. Take your time with it young folks and be mindful of your partner.
Quality over quantity.
When i was younger it was as often as I could. Any chance we could. Back to back (and more sometimes) just the physical action.
Now, knowing her the way I do and vice versa. It is about that edge of excitement. It’s about the build to the end and not the race to it. It is about making it all feel great until its too much and then the release and collapse.
I would trade 1 time now for 20 of the times in my youth in terms of enjoyment.
(straight/M) Actually, for me it’s become more realistic, but not in the way you’d think.
Girls have pressured me to give them anal. I didn’t like doing it.
Media has told me that all women want is oral and fingering. I did this, gave the great orgasms. BUT, I later met women who prefer and would rather orgasm through intercourse.
So here I am, a guy who is very experienced in providing oral and fingering to women, but married to a wife who only wants missionary, penetrative sex, and orgasms easily from it.
And…it actually feels better this way.
I used to think it was really gross, then thought of it as an obligation, now I think I could have it if that’s what my partner wants but it’s not something I would initiate and I could honestly live without it.
I used to want sex. I still do, but I used to, too.
I don’t just say yes to everything.
Younger self: have all the sex you possibly can (in reality this never happened because teenager being a dumbass).
Me now: I just want a connection with someone.
Pre 16 – curious
16 – moderately excited to give it a go
17 – less excited
18 – next to no motivation
19 – eh, not for me
26 – happily celibate
From “Do they like me?” to “Do I even want this?” That’s real maturity 🪐
one night stands are disgusting. I won’t add more.
It’s gone into the far distance so it’s pretty blurry
Sex isn’t as good as food and sleep
My view?
There’s now considerably more sex in the rearview mirror, than up ahead.