how long does blue balls last for men and can it actually be painful?

r/

i had an ex who would always say i gave him blue balls but he would follow up with comments like “they hurt so much right now” or just grabbing them trying to stop the pain i’ve always wonder if it really does get that bad??

Comments

  1. hellshot8 Avatar

    It can hurt, yeah. But men often play it up to guilt women into sex

  2. ProductCold259 Avatar

    He was trying to manipulate you, in my opinion.  Won’t speak for every guy but the “it hurts” line is such a pitiful way to try to guilt trip a woman into having sex when she doesn’t want to. 

  3. Jimmyjamz73 Avatar

    It’s mildly painful, but a guy can always relieve it on his own.

  4. Thin-Rip-3686 Avatar

    All men are different.

    Testicular pain can be a real issue, but usually for other reasons than blue balls.

    If you were doing things to tease him, like dry humping, etc. maybe it’s fair for him to blame you. But most likely he just wanted you to put out more often. Probably just as well he’s your ex.

  5. KindheartednessOld34 Avatar

    My wife enjoys tease and denial, so as someone who experiences being blue balled regularly for weeks at a time, I can confirm it doesn’t physically hurt.
    It’s just wildly frustrating.

  6. General_Most315 Avatar

    I’ll put it this way…it CAN hurt, if it’s going on for a long time. But I’m talking about 7-8 hours or more of stimulation with no release.

    Other than that…that isn’t blue balls. That’s called being horny.

  7. Reasonable_Air3580 Avatar

    Yeah it’s inconvenient but he’s probably just saying that to get some from you

  8. JustAnotherDW Avatar

    Extremely painful.. even for hours after release. But obviously NEVER let anyone use this to pressure you. We can deal with it ourselves.

  9. crazynerd9 Avatar

    Yes its real, and yes it can be pretty painful for some men

    However

    Bro presumably had a pair of hands, so if its a problem and he wont just solve it himself, he was either A: trying to come up with an excuse for sex without just asking, or B trying to manipulate you into sex via guilt tripping

    Im going to go out on a limb and say it was B however, because if it was A it would have been a short term/1 time thing, and you mentioned hes an ex wich implies theres a reason for that

  10. QueenConcept Avatar

    It can be pretty painful (like, have to sit down because standing for too long makes it worse painful) for a few hours or so.

    As for “and therefore you should have sex with me”, your ex was always just one wank away from fixing it himself. Never fall for that.

  11. jbi1000 Avatar

    It can get quite uncomfortable but you shouldn’t use it to pressure people. If your balls are that uncomfortable you can have a wank.

  12. SarcastikBastard Avatar

    100% manipulation

  13. wrmps Avatar

    I don’t know about your ex. But I had a tumor that sat in the channel your testicles travel when you’re younger. It didn’t hurt unless there was external pressure or pain in my right testicle. And when it hurt, it was debilitating.

    Since the tumor has been removed, it’s now more annoying than anything else. And it lasts as long as you don’t relieve your self or until the blood pressure in your testicles decreases. That could be 5 minutes to an entire day. It just depends on how long your body takes to get back to a non-aroused state.

  14. Agitated_Custard7395 Avatar

    It can be extremely painful, at certain points it will prevent me from walking.

    TBF once it gets this painful I won’t want sex because it hurts too much. I have to relieve them myself

  15. aspiring_pioneer Avatar

    I’ve had it only once. It was incredibly painful, and I could t relieve it. Had to just wait for it to wear off. But like I said, only ever happened once.

  16. nilarips Avatar

    For me it hurts a lot and “finishing” doesn’t help it go away, usually when it happens to me I don’t want to do anything for like an hour until the pain subsides on its own because it’s crippling.

  17. songmage Avatar

    I mean I suppose maybe it can hurt, but the whole situation is within his own control. Ignore it if you don’t care, or feel free to have sex if you do, but no matter what you choose, it’s not something he’s going to be losing sleep over.

  18. Funnygumby Avatar

    It’s uncomfortable. But easily remedied by jerking off once one gets home

  19. shuranumitu Avatar

    I always struggle to believe when other men say it actually hurts them, because I have never experienced anything like that. Not even mild discomfort. And even if it actually hurts, why can’t they just take care of it themselves? I don’t get it.

  20. theweatherguy69 Avatar

    All these men downplaying blue balls obviously don’t get very bad blue balls. Im a guy who gets terrible blue balls. Like, it’s hard to walk and aches like hell blueballs. The fact that he is getting blue balls is not manipulation, necessarily. Look at the rest of his behavior. No matter how painful it is, that doesn’t entitle him to sex. But blue balls are very real and can be extremely difficult for some of us.

  21. Ornery-Trouble-6678 Avatar

    Male here, never experienced blue balls in my life! I don’t believe it to be true…

  22. NoveltyEducation Avatar

    I mean it sure can be painful, but in 99% of cases the pain is mild and subsidies within minutes.

  23. WankerDxD Avatar

    Only painful when I walk or when I need to pee, resting for a few hours is enough.

  24. proxy69 Avatar

    It’s not that bad. Even if you don’t jerk off after getting blue balled

  25. mickeyflinn Avatar

    It isn’t a physical thing it is a mental thing

  26. GNS1991 Avatar

    Haha, the only time that it would hurt is if the sexual stimulation without any ejaculation would have been going on for hours on end. If that’s not the case, he’s just trying to manipulate haha. Of course, he may have had some sort of condition or whatevs…

  27. Proud-Perspective604 Avatar

    A bit of a counter message here but I’ve had blue balls in my younger years that were legitimately painful (I’d rate 8/10 with 10 being “kill me now”). It was after a 10 hr plane flight with my relatively new gf next to me teasing me. It was so painful we couldn’t have sex. I finished myself off but it took a while since fapping was painful. The ejaculation was pure bliss though. Easily best ejaculation ever.

  28. PoopTransplant Avatar

    It’s mostly bs. 

  29. Socratesticles Avatar

    It can last for a few hours, sometimes it’ll still persist even after I “take care” of it. As for the feel it can be fairly uncomfortable but nothing unbearable. You know that feeling right before you get a muscle cramp where it start to tighten up and truly hurt but it hasn’t fully set in yet and you might be able to stop it? That’s my best descriptor from personal experience as to what it feels like. That said, he was being a twat trying to make it your problem, it ain’t that serious.

  30. First_Function9436 Avatar

    Uncomfortable, yes. Painful? That might be a bit of a stretch. I feel like the pain is more psychological than physical. The best way I can explain it is imagine the sensation of being really hungry. I mean so hungry, that the hot sauce packets in your drawer looks like they would make a good meal. Let’s say you take the time to make something delicious and right as you pull it out of the oven, you spill it all on the floor which is dirty btw. That initial frustration after spilling everything followed by the growling in your stomach is what blue balls feels like but in the balls. A guy can always jack off though and he’ll even have post but clarity and be like, I don’t know why I went through all that to get a nut when I can just do it myself. I think blue balls affects men in relationships and in sexless marriages because they feel a lack of affection. This is not to say men are entitled to sex from their partners, but if you’re beating off all the time while in a relationship I can see how it can be frustrating. Either way, your ex sounds like he was manipulating you to guilt you into having sex with him. Getting kicked in the nuts hurts. Blue balls is like watching those videos of a person trying to pull something out of their ear only for the video to randomly cut off before they do it.

  31. nmarf16 Avatar

    Mild dull pain in the groin but like others said, he can fix it lol

  32. Temporary-Truth2048 Avatar

    Hours. And yes, it’s rather uncomfortable, but it’s not painful.

  33. gigashadowwolf Avatar

    Yes it can be painful, but it’s not that bad. I imagine it’s on the level of light to mild period cramps. It’s definitely enough you notice and it can make you cranky and irritable, but it’s also definitely not bad enough you can’t live with it.

    It usually goes away pretty quickly, maybe 5-10 minutes after anything that arouses us is gone. Also it goes away completely and immediately if we masturbate, and it usually won’t come back no matter what for at least a few hours, usually a day or so.

  34. CommunityGlittering2 Avatar

    It’s all in your head

  35. nomorekratomm Avatar

    I only had it one time, as a teenager. Damn it hurt. But not like painful of breaking a bone or something. God damn horny kid I was😂

  36. Fearless_Guitar_3589 Avatar

    mildly uncomfortable, any guy who plays it up is full of shit

  37. Low_Cup9586 Avatar

    Quick question as non native speaker. Is Theos a Code for something sexual? Thanks fellas

  38. Asassn Avatar

    I think it varies from guy to guy. A lot of people are saying it hurts very little or not at all, from my personal experience I’ve had blue balls that hurt so much I couldn’t walk. But it varies, I can only guess based on how long of a period someone is excited.

    It is true however that you can just rub one out to resolve the issue.

    If I was to offer advice it would be that if he is complaining about it you should tell him to take care of it himself. It shouldn’t be used as a weapon against you, but also it is important to give him assurance that he can take care of himself without any repercussions. As he may feel guilty about such things, at very least I did when I was younger. Not to say that he has to do those things in your presence, he can go to the restroom and be decrete about it.

  39. tpain360 Avatar

    Sounds like it varies from person to person. I’ve only had it once. It was terrible. I’ve been achingly turned on for hours before too. Completely separate feeling.

  40. cantchang3me Avatar

    It mostly feels like pressure to me. Usually gone the next day. I’ve had it smart before but the majority of times it’s been just pressure-y.

  41. Physical_Complex_891 Avatar

    No, they have hands and can easily relieve themselves. If a guy is saying you have him blue balls and its painful, he is using it to manipulate you into sex acts.

  42. lygudu Avatar

    Just note that it’s not the same for every man. i.e. I’ve never had blue balls or any similar discomfort. My erection just goes down if sexual trigger is gone.

  43. ButterscotchMurky431 Avatar

    My ex was very sexually selfish so I got more than my fair share of sexual experiences where I got turned on and didn’t get to ejaculate and not once did I ever ‘blue balls’. 

  44. cider303 Avatar

    From my understanding it varies from person to person. I’ve only gotten it like twice and one time it was mild discomfort and another time i thought I was going to throw up

  45. Kriskao Avatar

    I am surprised to hear other guys saying it hurts. I have never experienced pain from that specific reason. And my high school girlfriend had me raising my expectations and getting frustrated for a whole year.

    I do remember it being uncomfortable (physically and psychologically) but never painful.

  46. DontMilkThePlatypus Avatar

    Blue balls are not a thing. Signed, a 34yo horny man.

  47. DotAffectionate87 Avatar

    Its a thing,….. as a young 14yr old? I was “playing” around with a GF and didnt “finish” as it were (too young) and was in agony…..

    Walked home like a cowboy and despite taking things in hand several times, the pain didnt go Until the next day.

    Nowadays, i just think its an overused term.

    ..Men just use it to guilt trip…. When they don’t get any.

    But “Blue Balls” or epididymal hypertension is a thing, where your nuts are super sensitive to the touch and they “ache”.

  48. chromaaadon Avatar

    Not as bad as sperm cramps imo

  49. Krongfah Avatar

    As a guy, yes, it can hurt a bit. No, it’s not enough to manipulate someone into doing sexual acts. That guy’s a liar and an asshole.

    At its most painful it can feel numbing. Like hitting your elbow on a doorframe. But in the end it’s no big deal.

  50. Kindly_Cream_832 Avatar

    I am pretty sure that most men don’t act like that, but some definitely do.

    Just in case you didn’t know: if someone uses “having blue balls to make you fell guilty, and pressured to have sex with him” … it’s a form of coercive control / sexual coercion. It’s a criminal offence.

    Please, don’t shoot the messenger, do your own research in regards to the law.

  51. Shel00kedlvl18 Avatar

    I can only give my lone personal experience, so take it as you like.

    I had a GF when I was 15. She lived what I would say is roughly 2 miles away. I once caught a ride to her house from a friend, knowing that I’d have to walk back home alone. The plan was to screw in the house across the street from hers as it was a nearly completed new home that was open. Of course nothing messes up a plan quite like a little brother, and as it began to get dark, I started the walk home. And what a walk it was. Because by the half way point, I was shuffling like a geriatric old man. It was immensely painful, and I had no idea what was going on. My mind was racing thinking of what all it could possibly be. And at least from my personal experience. Taking care of it myself once I finally made it home wasn’t really an option. Not that sex would’ve been an option either at that point. I simply laid on my bed, tried best not to move, and wait for the pain to pass. Which it did after a couple hrs or so.

  52. baltinerdist Avatar

    I am flabbergasted by the replies in this thread.

    https://health.clevelandclinic.org/blue-balls

    Blue balls is not a recognized medical condition. Even the scientific sounding name somebody gave it at some point is made up. No, nobody in this thread is under excruciating pain because they didn’t get off. Any man here claiming they were should never be asked the size of their dick, because given their track record of genital aggrandisement, they’ll probably tell you they’re as big as a baseball bat.

  53. New-Conversation6667 Avatar

    Yes but one I take the rubber bands off there usually fine

  54. Phinnnna Avatar

    It’s not painful at all, its more uncomfortable at most and it’s most psychological but easily resolved with some alone time, if a 1 on 1 session isn’t avaliable 😉

  55. Henry5321 Avatar

    I’ve had it several times where the pain was enough to go to the ER, but getting off always fixed the issue for me.

    In my case, blue balls greatly reduces if I work myself up again. So I can quickly see if the pain reduces by just starting to masturbate.

  56. Fjohurs_Lykkewe Avatar

    Am I the only one that has never had this be a thing? Not uncomfortable. No pain.

    Weird.

  57. Longjumping_Visit718 Avatar

    About as much as toothache; the longer you’ve gone without it the more it hurts though; so it can be pretty subjective.

  58. Kindly_Charge2621 Avatar

    Maybe its different for different guys or how worked up you got or something because in my experience it can be pretty damn painful, like doubling over and can’t walk… if you can’t get somewhere private to fix the issue yourself it can last 30 minutes or so.

  59. maudeallo Avatar

    I’m sorry that you went through that OP. But if you’re curious about the actual feeling, research is starting to show that women have a similar condition that they’re calling “blue ovaries” – literally the equivalent for women and supposedly kinda feels the same. So you could try it out yourself 🤷🏻‍♀️

  60. OwlCoffee Avatar

    There is no reason that you should have to fix your boyfriend’s blue balls. A lot of men will lie through their teeth about how bad it is and how their current girlfriend has to help them because it hurts.

    It’s gross, and any guys who uses blue balls to convince an otherwise hesitant partner to pleasure him deserves to be punched right in the balls.

  61. Suka_Blyad_ Avatar

    I’d describe it as something in between extreme discomfort and mild pain

    Only relief is an orgasm in my experience, I’ve never tried to wait out blue balls and the longest I’ve had to is like half an hour or so and the feeling hadn’t gone away in the slightest so I’m not sure if you can wait them out

    No that orgasm doesn’t have to be given by someone else as some slimy guys will claim, any man is perfectly capable of relieving blue balls themselves

  62. Ecstatic-Career-8403 Avatar

    A few minutes or so, less than 5 and it’s mild discomfort. Probably a 1-2 out of 10 on the pain scale.

    It’s location makes it a bit more disconcerting than a regular pain.

  63. Jazzlike_Spare4215 Avatar

    It’s a myth used to get action if mentioned and don’t know what all the comments here are on about

  64. Samantha-Saladfork Avatar

    I have literally never experienced any discomfort from this phenomenon. Not even sure I believe it exists, if I’m being frank.

  65. OshieDouglasPI Avatar

    Depends on how often you ejaculate. If you’re a healthy dude who lets it out frequently like you should then it doesn’t get backed up. If you stockpile that shit then you’re either gonna have a wet dream or get blue balls. Dudes that have painful blue balls are just admitting they don’t get laid enough or are afraid of masturbation. Anytime my gf isn’t feeling it I go aww dang it but no worries I can take care of myself like a man. She’s grateful to not be dating a needy baby

  66. SmegmaSandwich69420 Avatar

    Blue balls is not and never has been a thing. It’s a 70s teen movie meme used to pressure naive girls into having sex.

  67. AssociateSea5613 Avatar

    My blue balls is mental, if I wanna nut imma nut. But when I wanna have sex I gotta have sex, masturbation doesn’t help at all

  68. FirstPrizeChisel Avatar

    It kind of feels like IBS. I had a gal once tell me it sounds like period cramps 🤷‍♂️ It goes away, slowly, after ejaculating. A guy can give himself blue balls, too. They’re not actually blue in color

  69. nefarious-breade Avatar

    It literally does not exist. The gentlemen in this thread insisting they have experienced it are experiencing something either entirely psychosomatic or otherwise completely unrelated to the volume of sperm in their testicles/epididymis.

    At best it’s a mischaracterization of human male physiology. At worst it’s a perpetuation of a hundreds year old manipulation tactic in the guise of a medical phenomenon.

  70. Joseph9877 Avatar

    I once got teased so bad I was nauseous from the ache for hour and a half it took me to get home. Never pressured my gf or anyone since then about them. It’s a scummy thing to do.
    If he tries it again, pressure him to go for a long cold shower in a cold room, always fixed my blue balls up quick

  71. Blotsy Avatar

    It’s less painful and more achey. Like you had a vigorous workout in my balls.

    I might be an outlier, but I kinda like the feeling and the penguin walk that follows. It’s kinda hot having an ache that reminds me of the fun times I had last night.

    It can last anywhere from a couple hours to an entire day. Relieving it myself only helps a little. Relieving it with a partner, also only helps a little.

    Once the blueballs settle in, they’re here to stay.

  72. PM-ME_UR_TINY-TITS Avatar

    It can be incredibly painful, feels like getting kicked in the balls. Not the initial kick but the lingering pain after.
    Normally lasts somewhere between 5-30 minutes.

  73. Savings-Answer-3011 Avatar

    Jack it, cheat, leave. Only three options. Guilting someone into doing it is not an option. Especially not an acceptable one

  74. 235M Avatar

    Never heard about it before coming to the US. Seems to be a myth made up by guys to pressure girls into sex.

  75. Savings-Whole-6517 Avatar

    It doesn’t hurt, I think you’re a crybaby if that is painful to you.

    Put it this way, I’d rather have blueballs than have a piece of steak caught in my tooth.

    It’s not even kinda bad, some guys use it for guilt to be rapey.

  76. random_guy314 Avatar

    It depends if someone has hyperspermatia then it can hurt a lot if not then it varies

  77. Coheedo Avatar

    No pain but I become irritable

  78. Lowfuji Avatar

    Yeah, blue balls is real and only be solved with a luscious blowjob.

  79. egewh Avatar

    As a woman, during ovulation and when my hormones hit juuust right, I can get this deep stomach pain/uncomfortable feeling which is completely just from being super horny. It’s in the same spot that gets all crampy when you get your period. I imagine this is comparable to the male ‘blue balls’. You can easily alleviate it yourself.

  80. alreadyhadherses Avatar

    In my 33 years of life with balls, I’ve never experienced “blue balls.” As in, I’ve never experienced pain or discomfort. If it’s been a while, I feel a very strong, single-minded sexual desire. But I wouldn’t call it uncomfortable.

  81. nisiuba Avatar

    I’m 61 years old and I’ve never felt that thing.
    Maybe it’s me.

  82. hotjuicytender Avatar

    I have experienced this pain. Never been an excuse to get someone to do anything for me tho. After our first pregnancy my wife said that her body was for making that baby and she could not get into any sorta sexy mindframe. It was a big bummer for me because I am legit crazy in love and turned on by my wife. We went 18 months with no intimacy. She always wanted cuddles and spooning and I would seriously massage her for at least an hour per night. I was glad to make her feel good anyway I could. With being pregnant she was not comfortable and always sore n stuff. Crazy thing was that I would get the blue balls without even getting erect. It was just like a switch. I would be fine with just snuggling and cuddling and then one little sexy thought… Bam… Sore nethers and this sense that maybe I would never have her again and it just would spiral into this depression. But usually she would already be asleep because I just massaged her to sleep. So it’s not like I could even bring it up. But when we did have time to talk about it she would assure me that she would probably get her mojo back and it would be ok. I spent alot of nights back then just laying there in the dark feeling like I got my nuts stomped and my mind trying to just accept that it’s my problem. All this lead to looking at porn and feeling like a piece of shit about it. I just wished my desire would go away so I could focus on more important stuff. Now we are getting older and we still don’t get down as much as either of us would like. But just semi recently she told me about a dream she had where I rejected her and it really upset her. She said that it made her realize some of how I felt back when she rejected me. So. Yeah… Anyway…. Blue balls are real, but legit… It’s the guys problem, nobody is entitled to your body.