My 14 year old shih tzu passed away yesterday from heart disease. I’ve been miserable since then. The house feels empty and too quiet without her. I miss her like crazy. How long did it take you to “get over” your pets death? Or at least stop sobbing over them. She was my first dog and watched me grow up i don’t think I’ll ever stop crying.
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As long as it takes you. Allow those feelings in, it’ll help with closure.
I lost my sweet girl in 2022 from cancer. She was also a Shi Tzu. I am still grieving. Pets are family and are mourned like family imo. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself time. It took months for me not to feel her beside me.
You can’t think about grief in that way. You’ll never “get over it.” In 40 years you will have moments where you think about this dog. But the pain you feel lessens a little with each day. Just try to think about the good and happy from your dog’s life as much as you can. It’s the best you can do
It will hurt less, but their being gone will have some sadness until death or dementia swallows you up. According to some, they then greet you on the rainbow bridge.
I’m sorry for your loss. I still grieve sometimes for my dog who passed away 9 years ago. Grief has no end date. It does get easier as more time passes, but for some there will be moments even years later when you still feel the pain and sadness of losing a pet you loved. Be kind to yourself and let yourself feel what you feel for how ever long it takes.
my dog of 16 years died randomly in his sleep in early february this year, i loved him alot and miss him but ive barely cried at all, grief is different for everyone, dont tell yourself theres some sort of countdown to the end of grief
minutes to years
My dog passed away 10 years ago. When will I get over? Hopefully any day now.
I still think about my pet rat sometimes 20 years later. Be glad for the time you had with them, everything is temporary
Hugs. A year after my first cat died. One class was a discussion about pets and I still can’t stop crying in front of the teacher.
Missing is silent, but the absence is also deafening at different moments in life.
Allow yourself to remember his departure and allow the sadness to be there, and love yourself. That’s what I want to say
I’ll echo the other comments and say there’s no timeline. I read a quote somewhere saying essentially that grief is not a house, but a room. The room will always be in the house and you’ll spend some time in there. Eventually you may shut the door and not go in for a while, and maybe you’ll peek your head in every now and then. But the house will continue to grow around the room.
Be open to all of your feelings. I still cry over my childhood dog who passed nearly 15 years ago and still have his collar hanging from my rearview mirror. Grief is a reminder of how much you loved.
Sometimes a days, or weeks maybe never depending… those kinda feelings are not something that you can predict or control unfortunately
I’m so sorry. When my sweet old Orion died 30 years ago, I remember crying myself to sleep every night for a month. He’d been with me 17 years. I’ve loved and grieved other cats since then, but Orion was my boy.
10-20 years, about.
One of my first two cats died at 16. The other died at 22, just before covid.
I still tear up thinking about them.
I’m sorry about your pet. I’ve had a lot of pets pass away in my life and it does get easier as time goes by but you never forget them. I literally just cried this passed week about my dog that passed 8yrs ago. It isn’t her bday or anything just a random day I remembered how much she was there for me and cried. I still miss her. Just reread she’s your first pet you’ve lost. It’s going to suck because it does suck. She was your best friend and your first pet. I usually like to talk to my passed pets and tell them I miss them and how much I love them and hope they’re doing ok.
You will never get over it, it just gets easier. I lost my cat of 16 years 2 years ago and I cry everytime I see a video of her in my camera roll. It will just hurt a little less everyday but you’ll never stop missing them. I’m so sorry for your loss 🩷
I would say I got back to functioning after a week or so –
but now, 12 years later, I’m just getting to the point where I want another dog.
Never. I still talk to my pup 🐶 angels. I let my two know how much I love and miss them. Somehow I know they hear me in heaven. And I will see them again. This I have to believe. It might not be your way to cope but it’s what I do because I miss them so much
yesterday? you’re not going to get over it that quickly lovely, i’m sorry. i lost my girl on christmas eve and i’m still a blubbering mess. i miss my gorgeous girl. it’s going to take some time, remember our girls will be with us forever and always.
Not sure if you fully get over it, but it is helpful to move on with a new animal — in your case, a shitzu. Or any dog that you might love.
The nice thing about dogs is that they warm up to their human caretaker very fast, and they will be yours in no time. This is the greatest thing about dogs.
Dogs are special, so I fell your pain. My experience is getting another dog is the best option, even a rescue animal who are begging to be a ‘good dog’ for you.
Man, this thread makes me sad. Why can’t dogs outlive their owner? Anyway, wish you the best. It’ll get better, but you lost your best friend, so you really need to make more friends. And it seems that you were an excellent partner to the dog, and you will again. The dog will lick away any tear, and will remain on your lap as long as your down. You already know this though.
I’ve known people who lost partners after decades, they grieve, and they live their life.
If your grief interferes with daily life and functioning, that’s more of a sign that you have more deeply rooted issues that are actually not related to the loss of a pet.
One primary reason people bond so deeply and take the death of a pet so painfully is because they don’t feel safe with people, and the pet was their only source of safety. The loss of this safety is shattering. If this is you, the counselor can help with these issues that are seated in childhood.
Another reason is that your identity is enmeshed with your pet. The loss of your pet leaves you feeling empty inside, like a part of you died. Again, this is not so much the pet. You may have a weak sense of your own identity. The inability to be you, if you lose someone you love. This is because you didn’t have the ability to form a sence of self as a child and adolescent because your parents didn’t give you the freedom to explore who you are or teach you how to be your own person.
Hope this helps
it might last awhile i still think about my sweet little zippy every once in a while.
This “acute grief” you’re describing will end. You’ll then have the residual grief that is much more manageable, where you still think about them from time to time and feel sad, but it isn’t nearly as painful as it is now.
I assure you, best thing to do is to just allow yourself to feel all of it, the good and the bad. The good memories you shared with her, and the pain of having to go on without her.
Honestly I do think it gets easier with time. Not less painful, just easier. The first loss I went through was a hamster when I was 8, and a couple birds right around the same time. I sobbed, too.
By the time my family lost a dog we’d had since I was 5 (I was a HS senior when she passed), it hurt like hell but I didn’t break down at the drop of a hat like I once would have. I think it helps that my family has our cats and dogs cremated when they die and we have a memorial set up for them in the living room so it feels like we’ll always have them by our side.
I still cry if I think about my previous cat passing. It was 13 years ago.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Grief is different for everyone. I stayed in bed for the entire weekend when I lost my cat just before her 19th birthday. It was weeks before I could talk about her without tearing up or full on crying.
It’s been 20 years. For the first few I would “see” her out of the corner of my eye on a semi-regular basis (maybe once a month or so?). It still happens, but it’s rare.
You don’t “get over” it. You wrap her life and death into your life’s experiences, and in time you’ll be able to smile at your memories of her.
Take the time you need to mourn and honour her – there is no right or wrong way.
You will always miss your pet, but it will gradually start to hurt less and less. Eventually you’ll be thinking about the good memories with a smile instead of sobbing over the end. Sending love <3
This is horrible pain. It must be awful to do your day to day knowing your dogs routine and not seeing them there.
You will go through the stages of grief. I say to let the feelings come and miss your dog. It honors the love that you feel for your furry friend. Many dogs pass or are euthanized and people don’t care. Your emotions validate the true extent of what your dog meant to you.
I had my elderly dog put down 2 years ago and I’m still not over it. I don’t think i ever will be. After all the feedback from people… Which tbh i didn’t gaf about. I just wanted my dog back.
But… After all that feedback. The thing that helped me the most was from a vet tech that i knew had to put down her 2 dogs within the same month. She said “it gets easier”. And she was right. It will be hard, but each day will be a little easier. I truly wish you the smoothest grieving process
My first soul mate dog passed 2 years ago, and this Christmas will be 3 years. There’s not a day or days that go by that I still break down and sob. I think of all the fun times we had while she was still here and her fuzzy ears or her super soft coat. Grief is not linear. I’m so sorry for your loss. I know it’s rough, and it sucks, but just please remember to not dwell on the negatives. Easier said than done, but please take care <3
6 weeks. You will feel like you lost a person – a human. But during those six weeks you come to realize 14 years is a reasonably long life for a dog. It is their role to die at around that age. It’s not a tragedy. It’s very sad. But the alternative is to not have those 14 wonderful years. For you and for her. You gave her a wonderful life and she gave you 14 years of loyalty.
After 6 weeks you will still feel sad. But she was a dog and not a person. If a 14 year old person dies it is a tragedy. If a 14 year old dog dies it is the circle of life. Grieve her and remember the good times.
In a year or two you might start thinking of getting another dog. Remember the pain of losing your first dog. But then remember the great times together. You can’t have one without the other. And then get another dog.
My condolences. She was a good girl.
You’ll never “get over it”. Grief is like a box with a large ball inside of it. Right now, the ball is the size of the box. So it hits the sides of the box all the time. It rolls around a lot. Every time it hits the sides, that’s grief. That’s the cry, the depression, the anger. Over time, it’ll get smaller and smaller. And it’ll move slowly through the box. Once in a while, it’ll hit an edge. It’ll usually be an anniversary, a memory that comes up. You’ll cry and pick yourself back up. Overtime, you’ll learn how to work through those feelings faster.
I lost my pet rabbit 2 years ago. The first 6 months was hard. It felt like it was my fault. I never thought I’d have another pet again. But now, I have a lovely cat who just turned one. He is my whole world. He even drinks out of my rabbits old water bowl and plays with one of his toys.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Let it hurt and let it heal.