32M here realizing divorce might be the only way out for me. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about going back to the dating world and just being alone all the time again
Are other men in here happy after a divorce how was it trying to meet other people again
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hell yeah
Very happy.
Super happy, not right away but a few years later yep, best decision I’ve made
All of them!
Here here. Pull the trigger.
It’s not about being happy after divorce, per se. It’s being happy to be out of a marriage that made you miserable and knowing you can live life on your own terms.
But if the marriage is miserable because of some issues you have, rather than your spouse, then you’ll be doomed to repeat them again. So I do recommend some therapy, also.
Some men are crushed as they only worry about the financial loss. Otherwise it’s like freeing yourself from a barbed noose. To be yourself again is a terrific feeling.
Worth every penny, brother. Life is so much better, more money, more sex, less nagging, less stupidity.
I know one colleague that has went through divorce at 29, and he said that while he did require about a year of therapy, he is generally happier now and has more enjoyment from life. He does have a daughter, but from my understanding is that there isn’t that much hostility between the parents and they do take turns in taking care of the daughter.
It depends on if you have children of your own and the general dynamic between your wife and you. Some divorces can sure be messy and prolong with court cases and general hostility. But if its a decision that both end up deciding is the best, I would say that those generally have a positive outlook for the mental wellbeing of both partners.
Personally, I didn’t go through any divorce, didn’t marry, but I did have a long-term relationship that near the end got a bit tense. No arguments or stuff like that, but it was apparent that we were pushing each other away and when we came to the conclusion to just end the relationship…I actually felt freedom, it did make me happier and made me look forward towards the future and the same goes for my ex with whom I still keep contact, we still hang-out and talk, its just not in a romantic / sexual way, and we are both happier like that.
Yes I’ve been through hard times but I am immeasurably happier.
I’m proud of myself now. I’m achieving all the things in life that I was held back from achieving. I can take risks, travel, have relationships on my terms, seek intelligent conversation.
And the future I’ve been dreaming of keeps coming closer.
Divorce was hell while it was happening, but now? Best decision I ever made. Peace and freedom are worth more than staying stuck in something toxic
Once my ex stopped playing games with trying to keep my daughter away from me, I am happier than I have been in years. Best decision I have ever made.
Not a legal divorce, since we never married, but we were together for 12 years.
I have been single for a little over 3 months. I am a lot happier and more at peace than during the last year of our relationship.
I have been on somewhere around 10 dates so far with different women.
Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t, but I honestly don’t put any pressure on myself. I look at it like I’m meeting new people who happen to be female. If we hit it off, great! If not, I thank them for the company and wish them the best in their search.
It is exciting. When was the last time you could flirt with other women guilt-free? š
It is very draining financially and I did it twice. Never again – I have lovely girlfriends but I wonāt marry any of them because as soon as you make that contract with the state your money and your freedom are no longer yours.
And as soon as you marry them the sex becomes a whole big favour, restricted to birthdays and holidays.
So yes, Iām happier. My main regret is that my kids suffered more than anyone, because my ex used them as a pawn, pouring poison about me into them.
At 41 it was the best thing could happen to me.
It took a while but I finally realized that I gave up myself waaaay too much.Ā
Got back to the dating scene (online) and met a really great, supportive and easy-going woman that is also in love with me.Ā
It was really hard to believe, within the first year, that my live is not over. It turned 180 degrees.Ā
So don’t give up and don’t sell yourself under value!
When I got separated I didnāt realize how toxic my relationship was, so I was sad and fought to keep it. Iām now 5 years on from being separated and I can without a doubt say that Iām infinitely happier, my only regret is that I didnāt get divorced sooner.
Do you have kids you are going to lose?
Do you have lots of money you are going to lose?
Unless you lose your kids or loads of money from what I hear you are almost guaranteed to be more happy…
Soooo much happierā¦. We had a good run of 15 years. No regrets.
But soooo much happier now.
Most divorced men I know are better off every year.Ā
BUT divorce, depression and the financial ruin it can bring are one of the biggest reasons for male suicides. This happens to a very small percentage of all divorced men, but still.
freedom is happiness
When I first got divorced I was lost. Just lost. Itās taken almost three years. Having peace is the first joy.
It was 2016, I was 29 at the time (now 38). The girl I thought was āthe oneā had gotten addicted to drugs, pills, just about anything you could inject or take. We had two kids together. She had put me through hell with pawning things to feed her addiction, taking money out on payday before I could pay bills, etc. One evening DCF came knocking on my door because she showed up high at her Dr trying to get pills with one of our kids. I had it.
The divorce was messy and over dramatic. She decided to put up a fight since her family had some money and still believed her manipulative lies.
10K and full custody of my kids later and I am the happiest motherfucker in existence. She missed court dates and was high the one time she showed up. The last thing my lawyer told me as I was writing the last check to him was āYou know why divorces are so expensive?ā I asked why of course. āBecause they are worth it.ā Iāll never forget how right he was.
That all being said. Make sure thatās really what you have to do. Talk to your wife, try counseling, if it fails then do what you have to. Women are crazy as fuck these days. You are better off single and at peace my brother.
When you escape a toxic marriage, you don’t realize how toxic it was until you see it from the outside.
I know there are many men who regret getting divorced, but I don’t at all.
I made the choice to show my kids and myself that it’s ok to put yourself as a priority.
And I haven’t looked back.
If she doesnt have any of your kids, do it yesterday. And stop having sex for the love of god. If she’s not the one, do not give her the opportunity to rope you into that circus.
Every. Single. One. āļø
People sometimes seem happier in the weeks and months following a divorce. They’re traveling, going out partying, dating someone new and fascinating. They’re living their best life, and they need you to know about it.
Not throwing stones. I did that whole thing too. But it’s ultimately empty.
I see so many people ask questions like this one, all focused on their future romantic prospects, on meeting someone new. The “someone new” you have to meet first, at the risk of sounding cheesy, is yourself. Your romantic situation should not dictate your overall happiness level.
That’s how you get to real happiness.
All of them!
41 years old and happily divorced. Loving my best life on my own, absolutely no chance I’d ever get married again. I enjoy my peace of mind and drama free life too much.
šš»āāļø yo
Awful, terrible, destroyed, many years of suicidal thoughts. Then got divorced. Started getting better after that.
My biggest advice is to be social but donāt date for at least 18 months, or you will marry soon to another mismatch. There is a deep setting in some of us with good intentions that letās us believe we are best when married, and it was just poor luck that the first partner wanāt the right oneā¦ but this new girl!! (who is just a decent person, but is not a marriage match) seems like the one we were supposed to meet the first time.
She isnāt, but your deeply disappointed heart canāt tell the difference.
Your broken dreams and hurt heart are likely desperate for someone to show you that you really are a good, desirable man. Thatās valid, but it is very separate from the women who live within 10 minutes of you that you will now bump into (some of whom are also hoping or secretly hoping to meet someone to validate their goodness). Itās statistically very unlikely that the first or second or third woman you now meet will be your lifetime match. But it will very likely feel like she is.
Was married for 7 years. Best years of my life were post-divorce lmao
>How many men are happier after divorce?
I believe the absolute majority.
Leaving my abusive ex-wife made me noticeably happier that even coworkers were wondering wtf happened. So yeah, it depends on each dudes situation. I know one guy who was devastated by his divorce, another going through hell right now trying to be reasonable with custody sharing with his crazy ex-wife.
Depends on who initiates the divorce.
Do you make the decision dependent on whether you still want to live with her or whether you don’t want to live alone?