My two married buddies were both telling me they sleep in separate beds (and separate rooms) than their spouses and it’s amazing. They both said their wives could sleep because they both snore too much and the one guy has bad GI issues and rips ass during the night which his wife also wasn’t fond of. I’m not married so it’s a non issue for me and I think sleep is extremely important, do a lot of you out there do it too?
How many of you sleep in separate beds than your spouses?
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My two married buddies were both telling me they sleep in separate beds (and separate rooms) than their spouses and it’s amazing. They both said their wives could sleep because they both snore too much and the one guy has bad GI issues and rips ass during the night which his wife also wasn’t fond of. I’m not married so it’s a non issue for me and I think sleep is extremely important, do a lot of you out there do it too?
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I do. She snores like a freight train.
I do. Been with my wife for over ten years and she radiates heat during the night. It’s not a big deal or a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
I do. We’ve been together 45 years, we both snore and have small beds. We also sleep on different schedules. I also have a needy cat that wakes me up 3-4 times a night and partner would hate that.
I think doing this might have saved a prior relationship.
She and I had wildly different sleep schedules. She starts yawning at 8:30 and is in bed by 9, bounces out of bed bright and chipper at 5:30am.
I’m in my golden hour of productivity from 11pm-2am, and sleep in until 10am every day (when work schedule allows).
Having separate rooms would have made this much easier.
We’ve been together 17 years. We both slept in separate rooms for 3/4 of it. When we finally started sharing a room together again a few years ago it was nice to have the closeness. And I feel like helped our relationship a little. But I still would kick him out several nights a week as soon as it’s snoring would start. It’s good for him though because he can fall right back to sleep. I can’t and I don’t fall asleep easily to begin with. So once he starts snoring I tell him to go downstairs. But that gives us time to be physically intimate more easily than it was before. When we were starting off the night in separate rooms it was harder because one or both of us would fall asleep and not want to get up to go to the other one’s room. But it did allow for the distance to grow. I think it’s good to lay with the person for a little bit and then go your separate ways.
The only people I’ve seen diss that are people who’ve never tried it
Not sure if it’d be my thing but personal space is important. One of my most reliable indicators for a relationship that WILL fail, is when they always gotta do everything together at all times, never failed me yet
So if anything, this might be a good idea. Or at least having a spare room for an as needed or wanted thing
I love sleeping with my wife, and tend to think sleeping apart is the beginning of the end of a romantic relationship…
On the flip side I know how well I sleep when the wife or I are out of town and think man that would be great too.
My wife and I have been happily bed divorced for years. Best thing that ever happened to our marriage honestly, and people who rag on it can mind their own fucking business.
I suggest separate covers at least. My wife don’t sleep separately but getting our own sheets and blankets was huge
Wife and I do.
Married for twenty+ years, always separate bedrooms for at least 15 of them. I like it dead silent, need the heating blanket on high year round, and like the sun to wake me in the am, so no blinds or curtains drawn. Wife likes the room to be polar bear friendly, blackout curtains, noise machines, no covers. We also tend to wake at different times, esp on the weekends, with me getting up an hour or so earlier.
Respecting the other’s sleep habits goes a LONG way towards staying happy. Why suffer with discomfort for half your life just because society somehow thinks it’s a law that you MUST sleep together in the same bed. Waking up rested is far more beneficial to a relationship than waking up bitter bc she snores or he gets up six times a night.
Plus, no shared closets!
I know a few couples who don’t share a bed and it sounds like heaven! I love sleeping with my man but I’m a bad sleeper. I toss around a lot and pull the covers. If he ever suggests sleeping in a different bed I won’t be offended.
We do. I work 3rds and she had a 9-5 so she usually had another hour of sleep by the time I was ready for bed. It’s real nice if you have the space.
M42 married and the wife and I do most everything together except sleep in the same bedroom. Our schedules are wildly different and she can get to sleep in a few min and sleep a full 9 hours. It takes me hours to get to sleep and I get about 4 broken hours a day/night. It’s great we meet in each other’s spaces for sex and we go about our day and binge tv on days off together “which are rare” in the living room or go random window shopping or whatever. It’s perfect,also no kids so it’s just great.
I fall asleep on the couch a few times per week, but only once or twice have I slept in an actual separate bed.
I’ll start the night in the same bed always, but will move if she has to wake me up even once for snoring. We just both get better sleep which means we’re both more pleasant to be around during the day
I tried desperately to convince my wife to try this. We had different sleep schedules. She didn’t like to cuddle while sleeping anyway. We preferred different temperatures.i liked to fall asleep to noise while she preferred silence.
And she would never agree. She could never come up with a counter argument besides ‘It’s weird.’
Many a nights I “accidentally” fell asleep on the couch just to have my preferred sleeping setup.
I could never
When my gf and I moved in we had to separate bedrooms set up, I think she slept in her bed like 3 times lol.
Biggest thing that helps us sleep together is to have 2 separate blankets, life changing.
I could never. There’s the occasional couch sleep if I’m having trouble, and sleep schedules aren’t always the same, but officially sleeping apart is one of the worst things I can imagine. I need that intimacy. I guess it works for some people but for me it would be if not the first sign certainly the biggest sign that the end is near
For 28 years, we have shared the same bed and the same bed sheets. I hate sleeping away from her, like when I am on a trip. I used to snore but now use a CPAP machine, which is worth its weight in gold. She will snore sometimes, but I usually can ignore it after a while. Only change we discuss is separate bed sheets because she likes to steal them from me and I whine about it.
Dude it was a game changer for me! Of course I love cuddling, sex, but my girl and I are complete opposites. I’m an early riser, she’s a night owl, it just wasn’t working. Having our own bed and space is incredible. I’ll never go back.
My parents did this. Would be awesome to have separate bedrooms. Wife and I have different hobbies and I work from home a lot. I get insomnia from time to time too. I feel like having your own space, even when married (and both introverted) would be healthy.
My wife and I rarely share a bedroom. I snore and she is a light sleeper. I go to bed earlier and wake up earlier than her, and she really likes to sleep in on weekends. Been difficult as there have been no extra rooms available in our house. But next week our daughter is moving out, so we are setting up her room for me. Looking forward to that!
I do feel like we miss out on some intimacy, but overall we both sleep better.
I haven’t had to do it in a while, but when I am working any kind of weird shift I sleep in our guest room because it is quiet and dark. I hate having to be away from her but it’s the only way either of us can get any sleep when I’m on weird hours. I would never do it by choice if we’re on the same schedule; I sleep so much better with her in the bed with me. We were dead tired after a wedding last night and fell asleep so peacefully next to each other.
Hard no. I like to cuddle.
A lot of people use snoring as a reason to have separate bedrooms. However, loud snoring is a health issue that needs to be addressed. My wife and I are thin and both have CPAPs. Go to a doctor before you go into your own bedroom.
If my partner & I can ever afford a place together, separate bedrooms is the plan.
He cares for his father & between us we have 4 cats so we’d need a good sized place to accommodate all of us, which just isn’t feasible when a 2 bed 1 bath is over 1/2 million $, where we live.
We have separate bedrooms. My husband snores like a freight train and I’m a terrible insomniac. I miss the spontaneous snuggles but not the bad moods that come from neither of us sleeping well. Our relationship is better because we’re not sleep deprived, you know?
Never. We’ve done it for short periods. But as a couple we need to be together. Separate sleeping might be handy, but it pushes us apart.
We do – my spouse likes the room COLD. In order for me to sleep I need layers of clothes and covers. He’s also a light sleeper so if I turn around or move my legs anything it wakes him up. I literally have to bundle up and not move all night.
So now he sleeps in our spare bedroom. We still cuddle before bed but he waits till I’m sleepy then he leaves.
He
My parents have slept in separate rooms for over 30 years ( he snores, she’s an angry light sleeper ha ). Probably saved their marriage. Kinda cute watching them say goodnight to each other all sweet like and then he goes upstairs to his room.
we do pretty much everything except separate beds. Separate blankets. Completely separate pillow arrangement. And usually back to back
I have friends that are very happy and do separate rooms. One of them is for snoring reasons and one of them is for sleeping at different hours and not wanting to take it up to the other.
My partner and I both like cuddles too much to sleep separately. She actually has trouble sleeping alone now since she got used to sleeping with me. So she’ll complain about it if I’m out of town etc
We do that too. Sleep quality is just much better
Sleeping in a separate room just seems too much like a punishment. How are you supposed to flirt at night, cuddle, have casual conversations or late night talks if you just go off alone every night. This would definitely hurt my marriage
My wife and I sleep and work very different schedules being in healthcare. It’s always a nice surprise if I wake up and she’s next to me. We rotate sleeping together but we try our best even though one of us always ends up KO’ed n the couch after a long day.
I can’t sleep very well without my wife with me. And mornings are cuddle time before I start work.
I wouldn’t want a separate room, I like her too much.
No, but we probably should. Then we could have a 3rd room with whips and chains! Thanks for the idea
Been married 25 years. We have two queen beds that are literally pushed up next to each other. It’s amazing, we each have our own space and bed, sheets, blankets but we also will cruise over to each other’s side for cuddles and intimacy. We both use cpap machines and it is just much easier this way, along with her liking thr bed warmer and me liking it cooler. When we first lived together we slept in a single bed and synchronized our rolling over in the night for many years. That was great then, and this is great now. Over time you just adapt and find what works for both of you to get a good night’s sleep. What you like now might not be what you like later and that’s okay. 🙂
Yep.
We had to stop because she was too selfish in bed (literally, not figuratively). She’d force me to the edge of a king-sized mattress, obviously signalling that she wants to cuddle and then complain that she was too hot to be touched. She’d steal covers and then get angry at me when I would take them back.
I had to kick her out of the room
My husband is somehow both a very light sleeper and snores like a jackhammer.
If I wake in the night it takes cuddles from him to get back to sleep, (I am a very grumpy and clumsy tired person) so I’ve started wearing ear plugs. It’s the best of both worlds. I couldn’t sleep in another room.
Can’t imagine that, that’s a failed marriage in my book.