How much do looks matter to you when search for a sexual or romantic partner?

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How much do looks matter to you when search for a sexual or romantic partner?

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  1. Lifeisanunfunnyjoke Avatar

    Sexual partners v/s romantic partners are completely different. Although I don’t seek sexual partners (friends w benefits), I think that while looking for one, one would tend to look for physical attraction, which means that looks would matter a lot. However, with a romantic partner, it’s more about the bond you share, and while looks matter to an extent, it usually doesn’t make much of a difference. When you fall in love with someone, you’re bound to find them attractive, irrespective of their looks. I hope that answers your question.

  2. barbaranotgood Avatar

    Not at all, I’m demisexual šŸ˜‚

  3. its_kiara_ Avatar

    Might be a little controverial, but I care about that a lot.

  4. Outrageous-Proof4630 Avatar

    If I don’t find someone at least a little physically attractive nothing else is gonna happen or grow.

  5. Allandalf Avatar

    First hand impressions, sadly a lot.. I have always been a soul guy.. I went with the value of a person over the body. But I’ve only burned myself.
    So now I want hot.. and then I look at the soul after.
    There must be 1 hot girl (hot in my personal perspective), that also is sweet.

  6. carseatshitfest Avatar

    I need to be physically attracted to someone to have sex with them or be in a relationship with them.

  7. Cardasiti Avatar

    Sexual partner don’t need looks but performance. It’s just an exchange of “energy” and orgasms.

    A handsome guy with a very attractive body can be damn boring and meh when he opens his mouth.

    But I would prefer someone with complete set of eyes, ears, nice smile and clean.

  8. sunshineandcats21 Avatar

    It’s pretty damn important, I mean that’s usually the difference between a romantic partner and a friend.

  9. Cardasiti Avatar

    Sexual partner don’t need looks but performance. It’s just an exchange of “energy” and orgasms.

    A handsome guy with a very attractive body can be damn boring and meh when he opens his mouth. So no sex gonna happen.

    But I would prefer someone with complete set of eyes, ears, nice smile and clean. Ah and no dangling hairs from his nose. A little chubby is okay but not an obese guy.

  10. brunetteskeleton Avatar

    I feel like for me there’s a minimum threshold that someone has to meet looks-wise for me to notice them/ give them a chance, then once I get to know them, if I love them then they become the most attractive person to me.

  11. hellbreed Avatar

    How are y’all banging people that you’re not attracted to?????

  12. ThrowRARAw Avatar

    They matter a lot, but it’s very easy for an ugly personality to ruin my romantic/sexual interest in someone.

  13. Melita482 Avatar

    I can’t lie, I need to be visually attracted to my partner. I do realize that might be shallow, but in my defence not a day goes by when I don’t see a random guy in public and my mind goes like “whoa, he’s so handsome, I love the [a feature that caught my attention the most]” lmaooo

  14. AttackOnTightPanties Avatar

    It’s important to me, but my tastes aren’t necessarily conventionally attractive. I think the answer that applies to a lot of women (and most people) is that it does matter, and while there are things that are often congruous in people’s tastes, they also vary a lot person to person. There’s also what I call the ā€œcompensationā€ factor: if you’re meh looking but super cool and someone who there’s clear sexual tension with, that’s just fine. I’d rather be with someone not annoying and okay looking than someone super attractive who doesn’t understand boundaries or is an asshole.

  15. FoolishOne-TV Avatar

    If I don’t find them at least a little bit attractive, we’re not dating. They don’t have to be drop dead gorgeous, but I am not going to be sexually interested in them or be willing to put effort into the relationship.

  16. AcanthaceaeTimely134 Avatar

    The face is the first point of attraction for me. It just has to interest me. The rest follows.

  17. frpc19 Avatar

    First time around? Didn’t care at all. After divorce? All I’m saying is if I’m going to get treated badly, he better look like Cillian Murphy.

  18. fufu1260 Avatar

    I just need attraction. They don’t need to be a model. Or on a magazine. I just need to be attracted. (Aka he needs to be a nerd apparently)

  19. annoyedfiendfyre Avatar

    I’d say looks play a part, but they’re not everything. I’m more focused on how someone treats me and the connection we have. Chemistry and personality are what really matter in the long run.

  20. EnvironmentalLuck515 Avatar

    It matters, but not in a hollywood level kind of way. The way a man smells, his level of hygiene and ability to dress appropriately are all part of the umbrella of “looks”. He doesn’t have to be a chiseled God. I find kind, approachable, huggable, smells good (not cologne smells good, but clean smells good), dark hair and full lips will put me in a tailspin every time.

  21. AddiieBee Avatar

    I need to be attracted to you to want to do anything physically with you. So it matters a lot. I don’t believe it when people say they don’t care about it at all. Is it the most important thing? No. But it’s definitely up there

  22. SukunasLeftNipple Avatar

    It matters a lot to me. If I’m not physically attracted to someone then I won’t be interested in them romantically and/or sexually.

  23. Grxmloid Avatar

    it’s important but someone’s imperfect looks can become less important when i start to realize how damn special and sexy their soul is. I was in a relationship with someone who I fundamentally did not find attractive in who they were, as much as i loved them, and they werent very physically attractive and it really came back to bite me i couldnt look past it. I felt guilty for not being able to look beyond it because we had a lot of other good things going on about our relationship and man it wasnt right

  24. Responsible_Seat_943 Avatar

    There definitely has to be some form of physical attraction, but personality is definitely what matters more to me. Upon first sight, you might just look like a sweet person, but once I get to know you and that you’re a kind, caring, and interesting person, then you just become really beautiful in every way.

  25. JustGotOffOfTheTrain Avatar

    Physical attraction is important, but when someone is smart and cool and funny, they literally become more attractive. The reverse is true for assholes.

  26. Infamous_War_2951 Avatar

    Very little if I’m being honest. A personality can sway my attraction in any direction.

  27. Manifestival1 Avatar

    They 100% matter.

  28. throwaway69542 Avatar

    Well coming from someone that gave an ugly guy a chance, he cheated on me. I couldn’t even look at him for long periods of time because I was repulsed by him. I wasn’t with him for his looks, and honestly his personality was shit. Idk why I was with him, but now I’m not dating someone I’m not attracted to

  29. russalkaa1 Avatar

    they definitely matter, like i need to be attracted to him. the guys i ended up being most attracted to were cute but not my type at alll. style matters a lot to me unfortunately

  30. OopsieP00psie Avatar

    Looks don’t matter to me, but attraction is a dealbreaker. I often find I have strong, STRONG physical attraction towards people I think are actually pretty ugly. It’s something I just feel in my body. I always wind up having amazing chemistry with those people.

    I have learned that if someone looks amazing, but I don’t feel that thing, I won’t enjoy hooking up with them.

  31. asianstyleicecream Avatar

    Well I’m never ā€œsearchingā€ because that sounds artificial and forced, like I even know what I’m looking for. (Like idk my ā€œideal partnerā€ I may think I do but I truly don’t until it happens)

    But I’m one who falls for personality, at least for a sustainable relationship (I could never have a one night stand, that just sounds so bizarre to me).

    I basically need to get to know you a bit, and then my attraction to you shines bright.

    Otherwise, if I just go for lust, that’s all I’ve ever see and then my people-pleasing ways will be front and center and it won’t be a real solid connection. (Happened in high school when someone asked me out and I was flattered because who would want to date me? Didn’t last long because we didn’t have much in common besides friend group, and I was naive/new to dating)

    But if your personality is ugly, I’ll likely view you as ugly too. If your personality is wonderful, I will likely find things about you that are attractive, like how you look away and smile, your laugh, or even the way you walk or turn your head fast.

  32. -aquapixie- Avatar

    For me, a lot.

    I can’t fuck someone I don’t find hot. And I can’t fuck someone I don’t love. And I can’t love someone I won’t fuck.

    I’m not demisexual, I’m just “I need to hit all three to pursue someone because it’s not worth it otherwise”

  33. Curious_Cranberry543 Avatar

    I’ve always felt it’s the same as stereotypically it is for men, at least to me personally. It’s very important.

  34. Unique_Opportunity65 Avatar

    I have got to have a look that absolutely aligns with the personality in equal measure.
    After all I have made this alignment.
    I don’t need clarification it’s already done.
    Right or wrong I’m in.
    But, this commitment comes with a price.
    I can believe all I want and if it ends up I am wrong I’m still committed.
    That’s how I feel the world works.
    Make your choice, steak your claim and reap the results either way.

  35. ph_uck_yu Avatar

    A lot. I’m not gonna be the tiniest bit interested in dating someone I find unattractive. They don’t have to be a shining 10/10 when you first meet, but I need to feel attraction towards them and I need them to feel the same towards me.

  36. DearTumbleweed5380 Avatar

    Attraction matters to me a tonne, which is related to looks but not at all the same thing.

  37. TriggeredQuilt Avatar

    100% important right up there with sexual comparability as well.

  38. duser1807 Avatar

    Good looks is short game into starting a relationship. Great personality is the long game and usually wins in the end. It’s funny but if you are okay looking but make me laugh, then you start looking better. Weight is never an issue, even tho women think so, it’s presentation. Humor is the ultimate turn on, looks rank 2nd or 3rd. My opinion and I’m a man.

  39. flickhuck20 Avatar

    It’s the first thing I notice, of course

  40. True_Magician_5629 Avatar

    Idk looks are a little 50/50…as I have grown older and realize they really don’t last forever. A nice smile and eye balls. I am good to go. Haha.

    I am more turned off by an ugly personality over someones looks.

  41. _rayyyan__ Avatar

    ofc it matters

  42. MyLittleTarget Avatar

    I have a type. I like then vicious, competent, with some sort of mental illness, and a perceived warm gooey center. I also like broad shoulders and a deep voice. My Beloved, most of the men I’ve slept with, and my favorite fictional men hit all or most of those points. Some of them have been handsome. Some not so much. Some are completely masked and/or armored, so I don’t even know what they look like. Looks and attractiveness are completely subjective and not the same thing.

  43. PozziWaller Avatar

    I don’t do sexual partners (am demisexual) and maybe this factors into my preferences, but looks are not on my radar. There’s probably some selectivity going on subconsciously, but personality is what really does it for me. Conventionally unattractive but a wonderful person who treats me well? I’ll worship him. Handsome but a terrible person or treats me like garbage? Bye, Felicia. My romantic relationships have always evolved organically from friendship and I think that helps to form a solid basis of compatibility, unless someone misrepresents themselves.

  44. Lovealltigers Avatar

    I do have to be attracted to them, but I don’t have high standards by any means. I don’t care about height, I actually like a little chubbiness, and you just need to have good hygiene

  45. dovesweetlove Avatar

    I think it matters more than people are willing to admit, why would you fw someone who you’re not even slightly physically attracted to? Sure I get energetic and mental and emotional but that can be a friend. Physical adds that sexual element

  46. saucygh0sty Avatar

    I love my boyfriend and I love staring at him because I think he’s incredibly handsome. I don’t like staring at ugly people. I think it’s as simple as that.

  47. rm_atx17 Avatar

    Quite a bit. If you don’t take care of yourself to the best of your ability ( grooming, fitness, etc ) I get pretty turned off

  48. languidlasagna Avatar

    I’ve dated dudes in all shapes and sizes and what I realized is EQ + emotional maturity + investment in themselves > physical attraction. I used to be very vain and superficial and would only date hot dudes in bands and models and over time I’ve just become completely desensitized to conventional attractiveness and a complete sucker for a dude with goals and hobbies.

  49. Acedia_spark Avatar

    Sexual/Casual partners are more physical focused and dont need to have “all the things I’m looking for” to be suitable for that type of relationship. Im less likely to hook up with someone who is only “kind of” attractive to me.

    But romantic partners I tend to be more happy to by pass certain physical traits I prefer if they also have the types of lifestyle/mutual goals/personality I’m looking for in a partner.

  50. Lunafreya93 Avatar

    They are definitely important, but not the most important aspect. I would never sleep with someone I don’t consider attractive.

  51. Appropriate_Tea9048 Avatar

    For me it’s always been extremely important. Why would I date someone I wasn’t attracted to?

  52. Ornery-Rope-4261 Avatar

    Quite a lot. I want to give my kids a good chance at not being ugly, and also I want a guy that I find attractive and who takes care of himself.

  53. modularspace32 Avatar

    i would say there’s a minor difference btw sexually attractive and conventionally attractive

  54. pinchename Avatar

    I was hesitant to even say anything but sexual speaking looks to me dont play into anything, it’s purely sex. I had a friend who wasn’t as handsome but we were friends with hobbies in common. He had 0 luck with women and so he stayed a virgin for a long time. When we were talking he mentioned that he was well hung. I instantly became curious. I told him, maybe it could work for us as a fwb. He nearly choked on the drink he was drinking. I was single, he was single. We lasted for a very long 6 years. He wasn’t lying either, things ended when I wanted more of a relationship, and he didn’t take me seriously.

  55. -acidlean- Avatar

    If I’m just looking to fuck and nothing else, then it matters a lot. I can fuck the most stupid, awful but good looking dude just because he’s pretty.

    For romantic partner it does matter but not as much because there’s this weird thing happening that when I love someone, the way their sould
    glows makes them the hottest person on the planet ever and everyone else just becomes non interesting for me.

  56. SCCKZY27 Avatar

    No not really. Like they matter for sure but theyre not a deal breaker. Also looks are so subjective. My brother showed me a picture of this very conventionally attractive man, model type. I wouldnt even really bat an eye or turn to look at him. So even though I wasnt physically attracted to him Id still date him if he was really nice and funny.

  57. nothoughtsnosleep Avatar

    Very little. I prefer stability, reliability, cleanliness and mutual respect. And goofiness. Id pick a conventionally unattractive funny guy over a conventionally attractive hardass any day, and have done so for most of my life. Once I get to know them and see these attributes, it very quickly turns into sexual attraction. I can appreciate when a man is good looking, of course, but that doesn’t fire up my sexual attraction very often. That’s just how I’m wired, thankfully. I’ve been told I might be demi sexual but I’m not so sure.

    I’ve been asked on several occasions in my past why I’m with who I am with when I “could do better” looks wise. Well, they’re what I want and that’s just what I’m attracted to, why bother dating some asshole simply because others think we look better together? That’s dumb. I want my hot-to-me goofy reliable guy who treats me well and fucks me like I ask him. The macho guys are just too emotionally volatile and sensitive to be around, it’s very draining.

    Bottom line, I’m not dating anyone simply because they’re physically attractive, mostly because if the personality isn’t there, I’m not into it. If they are good looking on top of all the other things I want and require, cool. If not, also cool.

  58. This-Cookie5548 Avatar

    Only to a degree to which I would find them attractive.

  59. ImFamousYoghurt Avatar

    It depends. If I find someone very physically unattractive I won’t consider dating them, but if I find them average I would try as I feel attraction could grow

  60. inkcapmushroom Avatar

    I might sound mean but it matters quite a bit, I wouldn’t be able to be with someone that I find ā€œunattractiveā€ but I had this discussion with a friend, just because I don’t find the person attractive doesn’t mean that they’re unattractive, they’re just not my type. Just how someone isn’t my type, I’m not someone’s type either šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø

  61. Laninaconfusa Avatar

    A whole lot, actually.

    I have done both. The less good-looking ones are not nicer or “more loyal.” You really can’t predict people like that.

    Which is why I took time to look for someone I could immediately agree was hot. There is no point in settling.

    Men don’t do it. Why should we?

  62. ThrowyMcThrowaway04 Avatar

    It matters a ton. However, being hot alone isn’t enough. I need them to be smart enough where we can have intellectually stimulating conversations, well educated and funny as well. I can’t fuck stupid šŸ¤·šŸ½ā€ā™€ļø

  63. Sparki_ Avatar

    They don’t have to be beautiful, they could be very average. What’s important to me how clean they are, their personality & attitude towards things, how they treat me, etc. If I eventually end up loving them, I end up finding them super attractive in all ways anyway

  64. Purple_Grass_5300 Avatar

    I can’t sleep with someone I’m not attracted to. Like sadly, as much as I’d hate to be shallow..apparently my vagina is lol

  65. biodegradableotters Avatar

    Not all that much. Like I have my preferences of course, but unless someone is like crazy ugly their looks would not be a hindrance to me dating them if I liked them otherwise. Like 99% of people I see look just fine.

  66. VikutoriaNoHimitsu Avatar

    Looks is as important to me as sex is to him. I don’t like having sex with someone I’m not attracted to.

  67. BitterPillPusher2 Avatar

    Not nearly as much as character and personality.

    And the “looks” that do matter aren’t really looks, per se, but more grooming. Well fitting, clean, stylish clothes, well cut and styled hair, trimmed beard or clean shaven, nails trimmed, etc.

  68. jarberry Avatar

    It definitely matters.

    When I was on Tinder I swiped on someone I didn’t find attractive because he super liked me and wanted to give it a chance but I just couldn’t picture myself having a sexual relationship with him because there was zero attraction, regardless of how nice he was or how into me he seemed.

    Obviously there are other factors that can help boost attraction, but if that base attraction isn’t there, it’s never gonna be.

    That’s my personal opinion anyway.

  69. NickyFree93 Avatar

    I eat with my eyes first

  70. thepensivewitness Avatar

    Very much; it’s just as critical as their brain, habits and values.

  71. ParkAvePigeon Avatar

    A lot. But it is the first baseline factor to get me out to a date. Doesn’t mean it’s all that matters!

  72. norfnorf832 Avatar

    For a sexual partner it’s like the defining factor of if im gonna even think about fuckin em or not lol

    Still matters a lot for a romantic partner too

  73. Bluetinfoilhat Avatar

    It matters a lot. A lot more than most other women.

  74. dollymacabre Avatar

    There needs to some some physical attraction, but that can only get you so far in the long run. Physical attraction pretty much gets killed off if a man is cruel, unkind, stupid, lazy, selfish and ignorant.

  75. msphelps77 Avatar

    Somewhat. They have to have at least a couple of features that catch my attention in order for my attraction to even ignite. Obviously they don’t have to check all the boxes but I do have a few things that I prefer in order for me to say, yeah I could kiss him let’s see what he’s all about. For me though, personality and smarts are a much more contributing factor in me wanting to be with someone romantically or not. He could be checks all the boxes physically attractive, but if he has an ugly personality, isn’t very bright and we share nowhere near the same beliefs, then it’s just not gonna happen.

  76. Rojo37x Avatar

    If you are actively looking for someone, it is the most important thing for most people. Qhethwr or not looks ultimately matter in the grand scheme of things after you’re married 20 years is irrelevant. You’re not going to actively try to have sex or initiate a romance with someone unless there is some level of physical attraction.

  77. Valuable_Advantage92 Avatar

    Cleanliness is my version of looks, do they look clean, put together and smell good. Then it’s all good in my hood.

  78. kyra_reads111 Avatar

    A lot. I wouldn’t be able to have sex or be in a romantic relationship with someone I don’t find physically attractive.

  79. AdvertisingPretty213 Avatar

    It’s the most important thing to me, it’s what initially gets me interested. If I don’t find a guy at least somewhat attractive, no matter how great his personality is, he’s never going to be someone I desire romantically. I need strong attraction to want intimacy

  80. pepsmuggletum Avatar

    It does matter atleast for the initial attraction but for it to last? Having a good chemistry and personality plays a big part.

    As for having a sexual partner (i mean in context of sleeping around) looks will always play a factor i think

  81. jonni_velvet Avatar

    it matters. I cant force it.

  82. astral_fae Avatar

    They don’t NOT matter, but also, my attraction hinges on how much we get along much more than their physical appearance. I’ve always preferred to date people that I can call a friend before any feelings even come into play. The more I like being around you, the more attractive I find you.

  83. Slash_Raptor1992 Avatar

    In my experience, when you have feelings for a girl who might be considering plain looking, she will start becoming more and more attractive to you as you get to know her.

  84. breskittle Avatar

    I wasnt really attracted to the last guy I dated but I thought he was a good guy and wanted to give it a chance to see if attraction would grow. Things were going good until I ended things after our first conflict about 3 months in because I didnt like the way he handled it. He completely villianized me to all our mutual friends and anyone that would listen because he couldn’t handle the rejection.

    I’m not saying looks matter but if I’m gonna get dragged by another dude, it’ll at least be by someone I’m attracted to.

  85. _Nocturnalsoul_ Avatar

    It’s weird, even I don’t know what ticks for me. I’m not into specific look or physical characteristics but I guess I lm charmed by certain men!

  86. JadeBlueAfterBurn Avatar

    i have to be physically attracted to my partner so it matters.

  87. gabyhvac Avatar

    Personality comes first