How much do the ‘details’ matter when you’re in bed with them?

r/

When you’re about to head to bed with a new partner, how much do the little things matter? Leg stubble, zits, and for older folks grey hairs, wrinkles, varicose veins or (sorry) haemorrhoids…?

Edited to add: this presumes that hygiene, hair, make up, nice underwear etc are all present and accounted for. And the stubble is ‘I’ve just shaved’ stubble, not ‘am overdue for a wax’ stubble!

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

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    When you’re about to head to bed with a new partner, how much do the little things matter? Leg stubble, zits, and for older folks grey hairs, wrinkles, varicose veins or (sorry) haemorrhoids…?

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  2. failed_install Avatar

    Not much at all.

  3. Efficient-Log8009 Avatar

    Probably they would matter long before we get to bed, chances are with enough alcohol everything stops mattering.

  4. huuaaang Avatar

    I’m too busy thinking of my own performance. If I’m sleeping with her, I’ve make my choice. I’m not thinking of little details/flaws.

  5. AuthenticTruther Avatar

    That vagina better be right. That’s all I am going to say.

  6. Fantastic_Low_1537 Avatar

    All of them matter a little.

    When there a lot of those, than it can matter a lot

  7. SupWitCorona Avatar

    You’re already horned up and it would take a lot to derail the mood. Ever hear of Louis CKs bit of men having sex with a woman who says “I beheaded your mother” and the man will likely say “okay we’re going to finish this up (the sex) but afterwords we’re going to have a serious conversation of what you did to my mother!”.

  8. jpsreddit85 Avatar

    Are you planning on picking up in a seniors home? Jesus…

  9. HerezahTip Avatar

    Grey hair? Bro people get greys in their teens and 20’s

  10. gortonsfiJr Avatar

    Details matter in ANY investigation.

  11. KTVX94 Avatar

    Not much, something would have to be seriously wrong to make a dent.

  12. Main-Extreme6534 Avatar

    To me? Not at all. My girl has sensative skin, and I usually like to help her pop any acne she has. She’s comfortable around me, she farts and I freaking love it! I love how comfortable she is getting around me. She needs to know that i can never find her gross.

  13. ThicccBoiiiG Avatar

    I mean. First couple times? Yeah I’m probably going to care if your legs are hairy and you have a big old haemorrhoid.

    Not that I care that much about my girlfriend being smooth all the time, I actually don’t care all that much. I’ve lived with Women. But if you’re half assing it your first time out it says a lot about the person.

    Everyone has some fluffy bits, everyone has a bit of cellulite, everyone has stretch marks. Im 38 and rarely date women under 30. I get people age and the rare person defies that reality.

    But still, first few times you should probably be putting in the slightest bit of effort.

  14. AgencyNo758 Avatar

    When the chemistry’s there stuff like stubble or zits barely matters. It’s the connection that counts.

  15. MisterHonkeySkateets Avatar

    All cats are grey in the dark

  16. LimitedSwitch Avatar

    Not much. The only thing that can throw me off is attitude or smells. If you just want to lay there and aren’t into like I am, I’m out. If you smell bad because of poor hygiene, I’m out.

  17. jjpence57 Avatar

    You. I dont think you care that much at that point.

  18. Y34rZer0 Avatar

    Enter alcohol🙃🙃
    seriously though, haemorrhoids? that’s a SUPER thorough pre-bedroom check over you have done on the partner!

  19. LordofDD93 Avatar

    Grey hair ain’t been an issue, wrinkles are wrinkles we all have them, stubble is fine but heavy zits can be unsightly. Anything that’s separate from like regular hygiene e.g. varicose veins isn’t too much of an issue, it’s the not body trimming or excessive pubic hair that can be more of an issue. Keep it tidy and clean and generally you’re good, because a good personality does a lot of lifting for appearances too.

  20. Red_Beard_Rising Avatar

    If her issues are on par with my issues, then we are equal. I’ll happily fuck her brains out.

  21. w3woody Avatar

    Details?

    I mean, if they’re more than 100 pounds overweight we may have to alter our position–but… details? Jesus, someone is actualy willing to have sex with me; I consider that enough of a win that I’m not worrying about gray hair or crows feet.

  22. accidental_Ocelot Avatar

    doesn’t matter…had sex.

  23. ZZoMBiEXIII Avatar

    I tend to just be happy I’ve been invited. It’s a poor guest who accepts an invitation and yet complains about his hosts drapes or the carpet… err… so to speak.

  24. 83franks Avatar

    Virtually not at all. Especially with an actual significant other versus a casual hookup. We are human with bodies and bodies are weird, im not going to stress about it. Yes you need general attraction but the details rarely come into that.

  25. Tertiam Avatar

    They matter a lot, but probably not in the way you think. If he’s really in the moment, those “imperfections” are likely to feel endearing, not distracting. These little details can actually deepen the connection, forming a stronger appreciation for you as a whole person. Nobody is perfect. We all have bodies. If you’re with someone who truly cares about you, those things won’t push them away. They’ll bring them closer.

  26. 40ozSmasher Avatar

    For men what matters is they found someone who wants to be in bed with them and have sex. Now if your body if a problem for you then that could lead to a bad experience. Ive had some women say “dont touch my belly, im ashamed of it” and that just takes your problem and making me have to deal with it. when the solution is to see someone who LOVES your belly and wants to touch it and learn to enjoy that and yourself.

  27. yo_mrwhite Avatar

    At that point I’m super busy worrying about my own imperfections so not really.

  28. -BOOST- Avatar

    Physical appearance is extremely important to me. Just being honest. The show aint gonna stop over a few zits or leg stubble. But depending on the specific issues I may be dissuaded from future encounters.

  29. WillCommentAndPost Avatar

    If I’m at the point I’m taking a woman to bed unless their is something majorly unclean like it’s clear she doesn’t bathe and wash herself then hair and natural aging doesn’t matter to me.

    As humans we can only control a certain amount of factors when it comes to our body and if we stay hung up on so many of them we are bound to be disappointed by what we see. There are things I am physically attracted to, but off the start I want to be emotionally and mentally attracted to you.

  30. Dragonwork Avatar

    If i’m at the point that im interested in going to bed with you then none of that matters. At least to me.

    I’m just a guy. You’re just a girl.

  31. FastWalkingShortGuy Avatar

    I’m just happy to be there.

  32. HawksFromtheSea Avatar

    Don’t care. I’m a hairy dude, a little on the chunky side, and I’m closing in on 40. I tell my girlfriend all the time that she only has to shave her legs and stuff in she really wants to. She’s a redhead so it’s light anyways, but if I’m not going to hold her to standards that I myself won’t

  33. Apathicary Avatar

    It doesn’t.

  34. nridez Avatar

    Nothing at all, I’d even say they matter but in a positive way. Trust me when I say that ‘imperfect’ women turn me on even more than a goddess and my taste on women couldn’t be any more diverse.

    Of course, as with everyone there’s speciffic things I don’t like but those are more related with hygiene than anything

  35. That_Damn_Samsquatch Avatar

    I’m just happy to be there

  36. Tough_Unit_619 Avatar

    How big is this zit? And where is it?

  37. kalelopaka Avatar

    If you’re at the point of having sex, nothing that didn’t matter up to then will matter.

  38. TheBooneyBunes Avatar

    I’m sorry if I’m getting naked I’ve already gone beyond the details so unless it’s something completely unexpected and out there (like whipping out meat bigger than mine) the details become rather academic

  39. M1lk3y_33 Avatar

    Honestly, the most important detail here is Hygiene. Everything else doesn’t really matter.

  40. RaccoonwithRailGun Avatar

    It doesnt matter.We are not machines. I remember it was said somewere in a show i watched when i was younger(RWBY):Scathing eyes ask that we be symmetrical, one sided and easily processed. Yet every misshapen spark’s unseen beauty is greater than its would be judgement.

  41. TheWiseApprentice Avatar

    If I’m still thinking then the sex is not good enough.

  42. MrRoss_50 Avatar

    Beyond the basic hygiene, Sexy is in the mind and the body follows. If we wait on physical perfection there are going to be a hell of a lot of men not having sex at all. To be fair, Men do NOT have a corner on the market in terms of physical perfection so we don’t have much room to insist on anything different in our partners.

    “Give me those stretch marks baby, I think they’re sexy just like you!”

  43. DaveinOakland Avatar

    Let he/she who has never gotten razor burn cast the first stone.

  44. panteragstk Avatar

    I’m looking at the good, not the bad.

  45. FIREoManiac Avatar

    I think once you get varicose veins, then your eyesight isn’t good enough to notice them and if you’re paying attention to that you’re probably doing it wrong anyway. Pay attention to your partner.

  46. AppSlave Avatar

    It always matters more to her than it does to me.

  47. maverick1ba Avatar

    Honestly the only detail that would be a deal breaker for me is bad odor, either bad breath, BO, or a stinky snatch.

  48. Practical-Spell-3808 Avatar

    Lol whaaaat. I haven’t removed hair in 5 years or worn make up in a decade and have no problems.

  49. CheeseBurgerWalrus30 Avatar

    None of it matters, the lights are off anyway

  50. Patient-Cellist1184 Avatar

    Loving these answers, but would they still apply if you’re 20 years older than your man? Cause the insecurities are real. Knowing he went from 20 yr olds to a 40 yr old woman is a source of anxiety for me, although I try hard not to show it.

  51. Eastern_Service8874 Avatar

    I love popping ladies zits!

  52. BlackShadowReign Avatar

    All of the details matter because you don’t want that person to do something that you’re not interested in but most people have communication problems so 🤷🏻‍♂️

  53. Coidzor Avatar

    Leg stubble is actively uncomfortable to touch, so I’m definitely going to notice that, especially if it’s like sandpaper.

  54. VelvetStarX Avatar

    Not going to overthink it.. we’ll probably laugh over the little things afterwards. Enjoy the moment .