And how able are you to separate out that from much you enjoy spending time with the person?
Edit: exlcude people who are a-holes
And how able are you to separate out that from much you enjoy spending time with the person?
Edit: exlcude people who are a-holes
Comments
If a person is unintelligent but physically attractive to me they might as well be ugly.
Think of chemistry or a spark as getting as cool as possible on a hot summer day.
Physical chemistry is a high powered AC that allows chemistry to freely breeze its way on into a hot room. A lack of physical chemistry is essentially a cup of ice in that same sweltering room. Ice is good—cool even—but it may not suppress thoughts of, or even eliminate total preoccupation with the temperature of the room. It doesn’t mean a cup of ice isn’t the right solution in a hot situation, it does mean that when given the choice of having AC you should probably choose AC.
I’ve screwed this up enough times to have learned to separate “I want to fuck her” from “This would be a good girlfriend for me”.
When all else fails, trial and error! (I’m kidding, don’t trial and error this if you haven’t already. However, unpacking past experience serves the same purpose quite well in my experience.)
It is very important to me! When I was single, if I ever went on a first date and didn’t enjoy his face and physical qualities, I wouldn’t be able to overlook it, simply because someone nice to talk to with no chemistry is simply like a platonic friend.
I am glad I kept this up, because my fiancé is perfect for me, attractive inside and out.
Very important to me. I’m pretty able at this point to realistically assess other incompatibilities and manage expectations.
Definitely a spark, but that’s about it. Everything else is what keeps the flame growing and going.
Well I’m demisexual so physical chemistry tends to come only after I get to a know a man. Demisexuals are a minority group tho so I’m not sure my reply is helpful here 😛
Major
Not that much. I mean, I have standards lol, I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone I found actively physically off-putting for sure, but I have no particular type when it comes to someone’s body, and bodies in general (male or female; I’m bisexual) are pretty neutral and don’t do a lot for me unless they belong to someone I’m already attracted to. Faces are more important than bodies, I like men who look friendly and safe and kind and like they have a good sense of humour, and I like women with features that really stand out somehow and make them look unique, and in both cases someone’s eyes and their smile can catch my attention. But if I know nothing else about them, I’m not going to pursue them on that basis, more just mentally note that they’re attractive to me. Someone’s overall vibe, their character and personality and the dynamic we create, is what mostly does it for me. Hell, my fiancé and I met online on a discussion forum and struck up a friendship, and I developed a huge crush on him just after exchanging a number of messages, without having any clue what he looked like at the time. Once I’m into someone, their body is appealing to me for sure, but in the initial stages it’s never what draws me to want to interact and get to know someone better.
My fiancé is a heterosexual guy who feels very similarly, for the most part. Thankfully once we finally knew what the other person looked like (before we got together, but over a year into our friendship), there were no deal-breaking unpleasant appearance-based surprises that killed off our feelings for each other. I find him more attractive than anyone else in my entire life.
None. I like whoever likes me
For a romantic partner, my very first rule is I should want to fuck him.
If I’m not immediately physically attracted to a guy, then that rarely changes, even if he has other great qualities. You don’t have to want to be romantic with a guy just because he has good qualities. That’s what friends are for.
I definitely need to be physically attracted for the chemistry to click, but if the vibe is off or he’s not progressive? Instant fizzle. Give me brains, kindness, and a little edge, I melt for cute, conscious men.
Physical attraction tees up the ball right away but without chemistry it just doesn’t go anywhere. Chemistry can create physical attraction but physical attraction can’t create chemistry on its own, for me. And friendly chemistry is different from romantic chemistry, that’s much harder to explain